Sunday, February 10, 2008

Late Night Coffee

MrN has gone out again tonight to meet an old friend who came down to KL from Kuantan. He asked me to come along, but I didn't feel like socialising tonight. Not when tomorrow is a working day, after a long public holiday.

This going-out-at-night business is becoming quite frequent these days. I'm getting pretty annoyed with his late night coffees with friends/cousins/brothers. We've had arguments on this many, many times already but it just didn't get into his head. He would stop going for a week maybe (after I voiced out my unhappiness), then it would start all over again.

I know the need for "male bonding" and I'm quite cool with it. Tapi kalau dah every other night asyik nak keluar minum kopi, wife mana tak marah? If tomorrow is a holiday/weekend, lagi lah. There'll be a long list of people calling him, wanting to meet up for coffee. Problem is, my ever-so-accommodating husband can never say no to the invitations. It makes him feel "bad" turning down his friends/relatives'. But he failed to realise that by doing that, he's letting his wife down at home...

Sigh... I need help. Am I over-reacting? I'm normally quite ok with him going out, but off late, it REALLY, REALLY BOTHER ME! When we first got married, I never had this problem. Only off late.

Is there something else besides the harmless coffee sessions? I don't know. Is it because I'm stuck at home with the kids and baby whilst he's out with his friends, that bother me so much? Could be. Should I tag along with him on his guys night out? Maybe. Maybe then his friends would finally stop asking him out! :)

I wish I could do the same. You know, go out at night with my friends for coffee/drinks. But ladies just don't do that. They stay at home at night, period. Well, we girls do meet up lah... but usually after work. And max up to 8pm. By that time, everyone will be looking at their watches / calling home to make sure that the kids have eaten / are ready for tuition or whatever. We feel guilty coming home so late coz we are worried for the kids & husbands. But the husbands...?

I rest my case.


Hope said...

I understand how you feel. I think this is a cultural issue, somehow it is acceptable for malay husbands to wonder off in the middle of the nights for teh tarik etc. Perhaps from warung kopi culture..again because most wives are very forgiving. Certainly not acceptable in the Western culture if you are married to do this. Why not get to know the others'wives and share some ideas? Chances are they feel the same and all can curb this midnight activities with you..

MrsNordin said...


I'm sure the other wives' feel the same way, too. When they go home, sure kena lecture jugak!! But that hasn't stopped them from going out at nights.

In some ways, I'm quite lucky coz MrN doesn't go out EVERY night. I know some of his friends who are out practically every night. Kedai kopi lah, dangdut lah... scary! The wives dah tak boleh nak kata apa dah..

If we gang up against them, don't you think they'll gang up against us pulak??

It's a cultural thing lah, I agree. Something which needs to be changed! Lucky you!