To all the Red Box gang ~ let me know when this song is available for singing. Right now, they still don't have it.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Anyway, the meeting last night was held to discuss about another brother's dubious character. This other BIL of mine is 1 year younger than MrN, has been married for 15 years and has 5 kids with his eccentric wife, M. No, he doesn't look much like MrN coz he has a full set of hair (that one is actually "not real", but you can't tell the difference), is taller and a well-known debonair.
When he was still a bachelor, he had strings of GFs who were ready to jump at his feet if only he'd said, "Jump!" (as in Titanic). Even now, I wouldn't be surprised if women looked at him twice ~ quite a charmer, that one. He's also my MIL's "anak emas", so he could get away with a lot of things.
This other BIL of mine, ok let's call him Z lah, was at one time involved with another woman. An artist, ok? The affair was going on for sometime without the wife's knowledge, but when she found out, he was forced to call it off. Basically, you all know what entail in extra-marital affairs like that. It's a long story but I don't want to go into that. Suffice to say, there were a lot of quarreling and fightings (with both sides!) but in the end, my SIL won. This happened 4 years ago, during the last general election.
With this coming new election, dah keluar cerita baru pulak. My SIL called MrN the other day, saying that she suspected Z is at it again because he's been acting kinda suspicious of late. She caught him talking on the phone in the bathroom at 3 o'clock in the morning, with an ending note "Take care, ok.." (who would say take care to another male friend, right? And why talk in the bathroom? At 3 am??). When she checked his handphone, the contact name is a male person, but she wasn't convinced. So she asked us to help.
Upon investigation, we found out that the number belongs to a lady by the name of Miss J** (why am I not surprised?) Location: Sg. Pusu, Gombak. Miss J?? Hmm... smells fishy...!!
So we asked Y*m last night if he knew, and he said yes. It seems, another mutual friend is interested in Miss J and Z is acting as the so-called middleman. But Y*m is having doubts about this whole arrangement. He has a sneaky feeling that the girl is starting to like Z instead of the other fella coz they are beginning to get lovey-dovey ! Apa cerita?!
"Abang Z ni selalu macam ni!", exclaimed Y*m. "Yang dia pegi layan sapa suruh?!", he added.
Miss J is in her early 30s, used to work with Z when they were in R*B but she was his junior then. "Quite a catch!", according to Y*m. She now works at a building which is just next door to where Z is currently employed. I guess that's how they met.
To safeguard the happiness and wellbeing of my SIL and her innocent children, we decided last night that MrN has to speak to Z and tell him to stop being silly. We don't want "pisang to berbuah dua kali", do we?. Him being the eldest of the lot, the responsibility lies on his shoulder. MrN said he'll do it before we go to Jakarta next week.
I hope Z will be wise enough to know what's best for him and his family. I think it's just a harmless flirt, that's all. But if the wife is not happy, it's a no-go, right? Anyway, that's how it all started. So, don't play with fire !
Quite an intriguing family, huh? But you haven't heard about the rest yet.....
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
We left the place just after 10pm, with a promise to keep in touch. As I laid in bed thinking about the dinner I had with this guy, who was my ultimate dreamlover just a couple of days ago but had now been reduced to a long-forgotten dangdut singer by the name of Herman Tino, I felt pretty bad about myself. I should have been more friendly or convivial towards him. Thoughts of the sweet words & promises that were uttered during our e-mail exchanges made me scream with embarrasment. How could I be so naive? Hrithik Roshan ? What was I thinking??
But after much thought, I decided that I should go on with the friendship. It would be very wicked of me to just dump him like that, wouldn't I? Anyway, looks are not important ~ the heart is. So, I wrote him an e-mail the next day to thank him for the dinner. But you know what? He never replied. I tried to call him on the phone, but no answer. I wrote and wrote, but there was no respond. He vanished, just like that.
Why? I kept on asking. Why did he stop communicating? Was it me? Did I look so shocked that night? Or was it him? Was he equally shocked to see me? Was I an even bigger disappointment for him?
Sigh... after about a week of trying, I gave up.
That episode left a big scar in my heart. I was dumped by a stranger in the night. Until today, I still don't understand why it had to end that way. Lesson learnt - never trust anyone you met online!
So, for the next couple of weeks, I was really put off by http://www.oneandonly.com/. It was a total waste of my time! I was introduced to a few more guys after that, but I wasn't keen anymore.
Just as I was about to cancel my subscription (they gave you a one-month free trial), I saw one peculiar e-mail in my mailbox. From "Not So Young Taurean". "Hmm... not another one", I thought. I read his e-mail and went "Naaah...!". But there was something about this e-mail that caught my attention. The writing style. I liked his writing style, very civilized. Not many people can write as well as that. So I thought, why not... let me just give this a reply. I was very sure the sender must be an Indian guy or something coz his English was very good.
But to my surprise, he turned out to be this nice 39-year old Malay gentleman, who lived in Ampang with his 3 children. His wife has passed away and he was "looking for friendship, regardless of age and colour". We exchanged a few e-mails and very soon, he gave me his phone number. I didn't wait too long before deciding to meet him because I didn't want history to repeat itself. You know, nanti dah syok2 bercinta, kantoi after dah jumpa! I didn't want that to happen again. He was hesitant at first coz he felt it was way too soon, but I told him, "You're gonna thank me for this!"
So, we agreed to meet. But before that, I asked him to decribe his physique (very important, but must take with a pinch of salt!) He said, "receeding hairline", I thought, "Sure tak de rambut ni!". He said "expanded waistline', I thought "Sure g*muk!" This time around, I went with very low expectations. But God is great, huh? The moment I saw him, I was totally smitten...
... to be continued
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
How did we meet? You may wonder.
Before I met him, my love life was zilch. I was single for about a year, after breaking up from a previous boyfriend who married someone else without even telling me (he was such a jerk!). I was bumping around looking for love but the prospect was slim. Until one day, on my way to work, I heard on the radio about internet love ~ how people meet their life partner on the internet. Now, this is interesting, I thought. I've never tried cyber-dating or online chatting before, but I thought why not give it a try. I've got nothing to lose, anyway.
So I logged on the internet and searched for "friendship". The results were a long list of online dating sites. I chose one, http://www.oneandonly.com/ , and the rest is history.
It was quite interesting at first, exchanging e-mails with people whom you think have common grounds with you. I got to know several guys both local & abroad, but one got on pretty serious with me. Not MrNordin (not yet). His name was An**ony, he lived in PJ. He called me CatWoman.
I think we hit it off like a house on fire because we shared similar passion for cats. He was such a "gentle"man... We exchanged e-mails very frequently and I so looked forward to receiving his e-mails everyday. It was going on for about a week or so, when he told me he had to go to New Zealand for a couple of days for a business trip. I was devastated. I thought surely I would miss him! I was nuts!
Madam Tai Tai, remember that night when he called me from the airport? I was at your house ~ CRYING! Entah apa2, kan? I didn't even know the guy and I felt as if he was already a part of me! He promised to send me "something" from NZ and if everything went well, we would meet up upon his return. Yeay! I couldn't wait! From his description over the phone, I thought he might have looked like Hrithik Roshan.
Four days after he left, the "something" did arrive. It was a HUGE bouquet of ROSES! I think there were 200 stalks or more, in various colours ! I've never received anything that big before, it was like "a bed of roses"! It was unbelieveable! Superwoman, you were there ! Remember we took turns to water the roses? Hee.. hee..
Anyway, the roses made me fall more deeply in love with this stranger. Some friends were a bit apprehensive, saying that he could be a sex maniac or something, trying to take advantage of desperate lonely women like me. "Who would be so stupid to send a huge bouquet of flowers to someone he's never even met before?!" Well, he's got a point, but I don't care. I got my flowers ! And I still want to meet him
So, the day came when we agreed to meet. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. I had my hair washed and blown, and put on my little black dress for the date. I thought I looked smashing!
I arrived first at the venue, and waited for him to come. At 8pm sharp, I saw a car passing by. It was a bit dark, so I couldn't really make up how he looked like. But I knew it was him from the way he described the car. I just stood there, and waited. Then, I heard him calling my name, "CatWoman!" I looked up and saw him waving at me. I waved back and started walking towards his car. Nervous! Should I stay or should I go??
Slowly, I walked up to his car. But upon closer inspection.......
"Alamak.... ini bukan macam Hrithik Roshan! More like Herman Tino daaa.... !!"
... to be continued.
"Saya ni dah kawin lama... dah ada 7 orang anak. Tapi, orang rumah tak pernah nak sediakan sarapan. Hari-hari Nescafe. Nasi goreng ~ seminggu sekali pun susah. Jemput2 pisang tu, sebulan sekali agaknya baru ada... "
The DJ asked, "Isteri you kerja tak?"
He answered, "Tak. Itu saya bengang tu!"
Then the DJ said, "Yang selama2 ni, sampai dah ada 7 orang anak tak pernah complain. Apasal sekarang baru bising?" And they joked, "Unless you nak cari alasan untuk cari No. 2 lah.."
That conversation got me thinking, is that what my husband wants? Breakfast every morning? I know someone who got himself involved with another woman because he said, his wife tak pernah buatkan breakfast for him (what a pathetic excuse!).
I don't make breakfast for my husband. Not even coffee. He goes off to work early (at 7 am), when I'm still in bed. I have my breakfast at work, something which I look forward to every morning with my "Breakfast Club" members.
Previously, when MrN was still with his previous employer, we would have breakfast together occasionally. He would call me from Mak Jah's shop after sending N*dira to school, and I would meet him there for breakfast. Breakfast is only served at home during weekends.
I did ask if he wanted breakfast before he leaves for work, but he said no. So, tak payah lah.
I think I'm a bad wife. I don't do housework, I'm a lazy cook, I don't iron his shirts, I nag and I devote more time to the little boy than to him.
Would that give him an excuse to go astray?
Monday, February 25, 2008
Due to the forthcoming election, the wedding was carried forward to an earlier date so as not to distrupt yesterday's hari penamaan calun.
We didn't know about it, I guess the Datin must have forgotten to inform MrNordin. Nasib he called to check first. Kalau tidak, buat malu saja !
Anyway, no big deal. I shall wear my baju bling! bling! to someone else's wedding, then!
(For some strange reasons, I feel somewhat relieved..... )
Friday, February 22, 2008
Girls, please take a look at her blog when you're free. I think we should do something like that for our school. They posted old pictures, stories on PPM, makcik dining hall, school trips, formal dinner... macam2! It's like stepping back in time, and it's a wonderful feeling.
Right now, I think our Srikandi blog s*cks. It's very dry. Perhaps, we should start a new one on our own. I know we have an e-group, but I'm not in the mailing list. So, as an ex-Editor of our school magazine, Purnama, I'm calling all STFians batch 1980-85 to join in the soon-to-be- established editorial board!!
But to start the ball rolling, I need to know who still keep the old photos? Anyone?? (I may still have some at my mum's house, in Ipoh)
p/s: Busymum, I think you did a wonderful job with the blog. It's brilliant! Do you mind if we copied your idea??
Thursday, February 21, 2008
My little boy was still down with fever. When I came home yesterday evening, his body was burning hot. I gave him 5ml of Neurofen and put him to bed, but he refused to sleep though his eyes were half-closed by then. Never mind.
At 8pm, MrN came back from work. "I don't want to eat tonite coz I've had nasi lemak tadi petang". Ok, this after I've struggled in the kitchen to prepare his favourite "pechal" (I mean, not really struggled lah... I bought the ready-made kuah and just poured hot water to mix it. The sayur2, I asked the maid to prepare. Hey, I had to look after Nizzar, ok?!)
Anyway, tak nak makan tak apa. So I told him, "Since you're not eating, can you look after this boy sekejap, while I go down and eat?" We were in the bedroom at that time, and Nizzar was on our bed. He said, "Ok."
So, I pun turun. Dengan happynya I called N*dira and the maid to join me for dinner coz the three of us memang suka pechal. Tup, tup, baru nak makan sesuap nasi, I heard the little boy's voice downstairs. "Eh, how come this boy is downstairs pulak?" I asked N*dira. "Baba suruh bawak turun." There goes my peaceful meal...
After dinner, we all sat in the living room to watch TV. Baru nak put up my feet on the stool to relax, MrN complained, "Kaki I sakit lah yang.. tolong picit, boleh?" Sigh... ok lah, I tolong picit. Kesian pulak tengokkan husband I ni, dah lah baru baik demam.
About 10pm, we all went upstairs coz I wanted to take my shower. The little boy followed us. I changed him first into his pyjamas and made him a bottle of milk so that he was ready for bed. Then I told MrN, "Could you please look after him while I take my shower?" He said ok. Great!
I love the precious little time I spent in the bathroom. It's the only place where I can be alone. It's my private sanctuary. But tonight was a different story. Less than 2 mins in there, I could hear a commotion outside.
"Nizzar! Don't do that!!" (I knew Nizzar was playing with either the remote control or the light switches).
"Nizzar! Stop it!! (I could hear MrN running around after him).
"Nizzar! No!!!!!" (Gedegang! Something fell!)
"Alah budak ni......No!!!!!
"Nizzar!!! Go outside !!(his voice was very loud)
Then, I heard Nizzar crying. Sobbing... coughing... all at the same time. I remained silent in the bathroom.
I think after this, MrN felt a bit guilty for yelling at the boy, so he pujuk the little monster. It was quiet for a while. I could hear Nizzar's intermittent cough and MrN singing the Barney song to him, when suddenly I heard:
"Whoop@##@@!!!" (the boy threw up!)
"Nooooo...!!!!!" (MrN screamed)
"Sri!!!!" (that's my maid's name)
"Nadira!!!" (that's my daughter)
Nizzar began crying out loud. MrN was screaming for the maid !
I was still sitting on the throne at that time, less than 5 mins after I went in, but I had to get out and see what happened. I grabbed a towel and stormed out of the bathroom.
I saw Nizzar crying on his baba's lap.
"He threw up on me!" said MrN.
"Ya lah, then get something lah to clean it up!"
"Macamana nak clean up? He threw up on me!"
(Tak de nya threw up on him. His kain kena sikit je, Nizzar's pyjamas yang were all soaked)
I said, "You ni kan, I suruh you jaga dia sekejap je, itu pun tak boleh!"
MrN kept quiet.
I picked up the little boy from his lap and cleaned him up. I changed his pyjamas and wiped off the vomit, and then I passed him to the maid. MrN was busy fussing over his kain pelikat yang terkena Nizzar's vomit. I couldn't care less.
After shower, I jumped onto bed and lull Nizzar to sleep. MrN was on the bed as well, but he was facing away from me and his hand was pressing his legs that were hurting (hoping that I would offer to massage). But I pretended I didn't see it. I was too angry to care!
Sorry, babe... not tonight!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Something interesting happened when I was surfing the Net the other day. I came across a blog which was written by an ex-student of SMS Kelantan, who happened to be a classmate of MrsNordin No. 1 back in the 70's! What an amazing discovery! I just couldn't believe it when I saw her pictures in the blog! There were also some stories on her... it's unbelievable!!
I've contacted the blog owner, a sweet lady by the name of busymum, and it's very nice of her to immediately reply my-email. She said she knew MrsN#1 when they were in Form 1-3. MrsN #1 left the school after Form 3 and continued her education in CBN, KL. Busymum had not met MrsN#1 since 1977, and had only known about her passing when another school friend tried to make contact with her to arrange for a reunion, just days after her passing.
For those who are interested in knowing how MrsN #1 looked like when she was young, I've posted her pic here (busymum, I hope you don't mind... ). Please visit http://smz-smsk.blogspot.com/ to learn more. Read the posting on "Chinese New Year 1976".
Standing (second from left): Busymum
Kneeling (first from left) : MrsNordin #1
(Kinda creepy, huh ? )
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
We went on a friend's recommendation after failing to secure a table at The Basil Leaf (they only served Valentine Set Menu, which I didn't fancy, but the place was full to the brim!). The friend said, the food is good at La Bodega, but we were sceptical at first as the friend drinks, while we don't (well, we've stopped).
When we reached there, the place was packed but we managed to secure a seat, thanks to the very helpful waitress that served us last night. A band was playing some contemporary jazz music, rendering a re-make of "Just the Two of Us" and the likes.
We ordered some tapas and tried the special burger as the main course. The food was surprisingly good! After dinner, we sat at the bar listening to the music. MrN lighted up a cigarette and I rested my head on his chest. Bliss.
Despite the loud music and some strange people we saw that night, we had a great time. Before we left, the sweet waitress gave me a stalk of red rose. "Happy Valentine's Day, you two!", she said. Aahhh... lovely! MrN said, "There, your rose. That should complete the night."
The girl received a huge tip from us last night !
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day, people!!! Wish you all have a good one!
We made cupcakes yesterday. The idea was mooted when N*dira was complaining that this year, nothing exciting is happening at her school on Valentine's Day (I think because one of the ustazah had warned the students, "Kita orang Islam tak boleh sambut New Year atau Chinese New Year... HARAM!"). That's her school for you!
Anyway, I thought why don't we make Valentine's cupcakes and just try to sell them among her classmates? She liked the idea, so I bought the stuff and she started to rock & roll in the kitchen. Mind you, we've never tried baking cupcakes before ~ that's the first time.
With a Nigella recipe in hand, she baked, me & Sri (the maid) helped decorating the cupcakes, while Nad*m (the youngest boy who's in Form 2 now), volunteered to deliver the cupcakes. It was a hit! She received a lot of orders! I think she's selling it for RM2.50 each (it's big, ok?). The cupcakes turned out to be quite nice. I don't know how to post pictures from my handphone, but I'll do it when I know how.
Each one of us (me, MrN, the maid, Nad*m & Nad*ra) want to claim a portion of the cupcake ~ 50 sen each ~ because each one of us contributed to the making. MrN, altho' he's only the food critique, claimed that since he bought the oven, paid for the electricity bill and provided transport for delivery service, he's entitled to his portion too. Whatever...
Now, the cupcake girl has joined this Young Enterprenuer Club at her school, which organizes events where students can showcase their products/skills. In this case, my daughter will be showcasing her cupcakes! I'm so proud... :)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
For those who don't know me, I'm not the first MrsNordin. I'm the second one. The first MrsNordin died due to heart complications in April 2001. I met MrNordin in May 2001.
I've never met the first MrsNordin, but I've seen her photos. She was a pretty lady. I remember the first time MrN showed me her photograph, which he kept in his wallet. The first word that came out of my mouth was, "Is she related to Z*ti A*htar?" That's how she looked like.
Mr & MrsNordin No. 1 dated since their London college days. That was a good 17 years of being together before her untimely death. She was 38. They had three beautiful children ~ 2 girls and 1 boy. When she passed away, the eldest was 12 and the youngest was only 7. I asked MrN how they met? He said, he saw her at this party; she was wearing a green jumper. The moment he saw her, he said he knew, she was The One (ek, eleh....) .
Although I've never met MrsNordin No. 1, somehow I feel that we have quite a lot in common. For example, clothings. I have several blouses which are the same as what she had in her wardrobe; several pairs of baju kurung which I'm sure I'd pick up if I had seen them on display; and several pairs of shoes which I'd bought if I'd come across them.
I like animal prints and black & white; she had lots of those. I like polka dots, she had them too. Books - we now have two copies of the SAME book in our library (not one, but a few titles). She kept several journals; I have the same. We went to the same hair stylist and had our clothes made at the same tailor in Wisma Lim Foo Yong. How do you explain that? I was shocked when I first found out about it.
She tak rajin masak; I pun tak rajin masak juga.. Hee... heee.... :)
But there are differences, of course, and these I gathered from MrN, the kids or relatives who told me stories about her. Personality wise, we are different:
1) She had a very strong leadership character & highly temperamental. Me? I'm not like that at all.
2) If she didn't like something, she'd make sure the other person knew about it. I don't; I'd keep quiet.
3) She won't allow MrN to go alone for whatever business/function coz her policy was, "If I don't go, you don't go!" I - tak kisah, as long as you don't go overboard (I think that's why MrN jolly sakan sekarang sebab I allow him to go out with his friends - alone!).
4) She doesn't eat at gerai or pegi pasar malam. I like!!!
I was a bit apprehensive at first about marrying MrN. You know... he had a previous life, a previous wife. I wasn't sure if the late wife was ok with me marrying her husband and take over her place, you know what I mean? I was afraid if I've made the wrong decision, or the marriage would be a disaster... those sort of things.
Until one night, I dreamt of her. We were in JB at that time, on holiday with the kids, tapi belum kawin lagi. Another month or so to go. I dreamt I was attending a wedding at my late grandparents' house. She was there, receiving guests who arrived for the wedding with MrN standing just behind her. She was wearing this purple baju kebaya made of kain songket, and was looking very young & cheerful. I distinctively remembered her face because the dream was very real. I went up to her and shook her hands. I said, "Wah... you're looking very cheerful!" She replied, "Ya ke?" and continued to smile. I just watched her, and the dream ended.
Several nights later, I dreamt of her again. This time, we were at a shopping complex. She was wearing this mustard-colored two piece suit with a big handbag in hand. She looked her age. In my dream, we were going up the escalator when I asked her, "You know when I met you the last time, somehow I felt you were not happy. Is that right?" She sighed, turned to me and said, "You know, it's not easy being here. I wish you all would offer more prayers and doa for me here." Wow... that was scary!! I woke up sweating and it was 3 o'clock in the morning! I quickly told MrN about it and he did a small doa selamat for her at the masjid.
The final dream I had, which made it clear what she was trying to tell me, happened a week after the second dream. In that dream, she was wearing white. She was talking to me, over my head as I was lying down in bed. I can't remember exactly what she said, but it was something about asking me to take care of her kids, for her. I woke up from the dream just as the azan subuh berkumandang di luar sana....
After all these dreams, I figured she must be consenting to my marrying her husband. That's when I said, "Yes, let's do it!"
Meeting MrNordin was fated, but becoming his wife was my choice. It was not an easy one, though. I was single, he was a widower. The children, the families, the new responsibilities... these were all big issues that I had to deal with before I could settle down with him.
But the most difficult one was memories of his late wife. She was everywhere! In the bedroom, in the hallway, in the study room, on the dressing table... I felt like a complete stranger living in that house. Everyone talked about her as if she was still alive. Kids would go, "Remember tak dulu, Mama used to this, and that etc, etc". My parents in law would go, "Din, engkau ingat tak arwah daa di daa... daa di daa..." . To the extent that sometimes, they even called me by her name!
It took me a while (and a lot of patience) to get used to all that. But MrN said I did very ok. One thing good, he was very understanding and always had a way to explain things during tricky situations. Although other people would talk about the first MrsNordin in front of me as if I did not exist, MrN never did. And that really helped. The kids? The younger ones used to do that in the beginning, but after a while, they just mentioned her as part of their previous lives. They are good kids, I'm telling you, and I'm lucky.
But I knew that sometimes they needed to reminisce about the good old times; so I let MrN go with the kids, just the four of them. I think they deserve it. It would be unfair for me to expect them not to discuss about her in the open, so after a while, we all talked about her as if she's just another person in our lives. We know she's around and listening... so, it's no longer an issue.
They say "Don't marry a man whose wife has passed away because he'll never love you as much as he'd loved his first wife". Maybe that's true, but I don't expect him to love me that way, anyway. I know he loves each one of us in a different way. Perhaps not as much as before, but enough to make me stay in this marriage.
MrN prompted me yesterday about the Java Jazz Festival which will be held in Jakarta during the first weekend of March. They have it every year. We wanted to go last year, but had to cancel at the last minute coz we had something going on. But this year, we are definitely going!
I like Jakarta. It's HUGE. The people are friendly, food is easy to get, shopping is heavenly. I have a friend there, V*rdi. I've known him since my UK days. V*rdi would take us around whenever we go to Jkt. Maybe, that's what makes Jakarta a little special compared to other places.
For those who are interested, check out http://www.javajazzfestival.com. I'm gonna watch Earth, Wind & Fire !! KLM and AirAsia have packages for the java jazz. Hotel of stay is the Sultan Hotel, which is near the Convention Centre. But we are not staying there. We're staying at our "love nest". Hee... hee....
However, tickets & hotel have not been booked. I'll get them done today. Can't wait!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Anyway, we met at Chinoz. Over two cups of latte and a glass of warm water, he told me two things: 1) He's going off to JB this Fri (for work), coming back on Sat; and 2) this Datin friend of his invite us to a wedding to be held at her residence end of the month.
I have this "love-hate" relationship with this Datin friend of my husband, who happened to be the wife of a prominent Minister. They were friends during their A-Level days in the UK, but that's about it. She got married right after she came back from the UK, and since then, he didn't hear of her until 2 or 3 years ago when she called, wanting to get-together for old time's sake.
Ok, I've no problem with that. She's a nice lady. I remember she invited us all to her house one day (I think during the first year of my marriage), and you know what she gave me? A pair of gold antique earrings, the kind you'd wear to weddings. I was astounded coz I think it's quite expensive. Why would she give me something like that when I hardly know her, right? Then later she gave us all sort of things lah ~ kain, kuih, tudung, even pearls from her own pearl farm in Sampoerna, ok? (later we learnt that other people also got the same thing, so we didn't feel so bad after all).
Anyway, my issue with her is that she is forever calling my husband for this, and that. Nak cari a new driver ~ tanya my husband, anak nak masuk sekolah ~ inform my husband; nak beli rumah kat London ~ beritau my husband. Eh, apa ke hal pulak ni? Husband dia tak ada ke?? And she's very persistent, this woman. There was one time she invited us to her house for a kenduri or something, but we couldn't go. Then, she called at close to midnight (that time we were in the car driving around with my BIL), asking where we were and why we didn't turn up. Eh, hello.... suka hati kita lah nak pegi ke tidak! You can't force us to go to your do! And my husband ni pulak, at that point of time, was still struggling trying to get out of it, telling her "Insyaallah... insyaallah.." Hey, aren't you supposed to just say, "No, we can't make it." Fullstop. Insyaallah apa lagi?? I think he didn't tell her that we were not coming.
The big blow up happened last year, just after her GRAND birthday party which was held on two occasions - one at her residence, another at a hotel in town. We were invited for both, us being Datin's so-called "close friends". I was pretty excited at that time. Ya lah... first time a Minister's wife ajak datang private party (her husband is a very nice chap, actually). Met some funny characters there ~ datins, datinwannabes, artistes, toh puans... so, it was quite fun (She even offered to organize MY birthday party at her house this year, ok? No way jose!!!)
What happened the day after that was, without my knowledge, she had invited my husband for a "private lunch" at Carcosa, along with another lady friend from their A-Level days, who happened to be in town (she's Singaporean). My dear husband did not tell me, but I found out by accident when i saw the sms in his handphone ~ "Strictly private, ok Din?"(Wives have a hunch about these things, don't we?).
My dear husband was attending a course at Le Meridien on that day, so I guessed he must have skipped the afternoon session for a secret rendezvous with these two ladies. When I confronted him that evening, he was taken aback. First, he was angry with me for invading his privacy (Hey, I'm your wife! I'm entitled to invade your private life!) Secondly, when I asked him why he didn't tell me, he said it's not important and I wouldn't understand (wouldn't understand, my ass !!).
We had a huge fight over this and it went on for a couple of days. I was really mad at him for hiding these things from me. My rationale is simple, let's turn the table around. Say, an old male friend is in town and he wants to meet up. Husband doesn't know of him and wife has never spoken to him about this old friend. So, I meet up with him for a long lunch at some "private" venue without telling my husband, because "It's not important". Can I do that?
I bet you the answer is no.
Look, to say that "it's not important" is ridiculous because Carcosa is NOT like any other eating places like Pelita or gerai tomyam somewhere. It is a special place. It means something when you go there with someone new (unless he's done these private lunches many time before lah, without my knowledge). Had he gone there with his office colleagues, then yes, I would say it's not important for him to tell me about it. In this case... sigh... I think he was caught red-handed and he just didn't know how to get out of it...
Since that incident, I told him I don't want to hear that woman's name anymore. I know how he treasures friendship, but this is no go. I felt cheated, coz all this while I thought she was genuinely nice. Little did I realise that she could be nice to me so she could get to my husband. Some women do that, they crave attention from other men especially when their husbands are busy, busy, busy. They maybe harmless, but I just don't like it. I think it's very rude of her to call my husband at her own whims and fancy, day or night. My ever-so-accommodating husband ni pulak rajin sangat melayan, that's why he's the perfect listening board for both ladies / men in distress!!
Yesterday was the first time he mentioned her name again after the incident. When he asked me whether I'd go to the wedding or not, I said, "Tengok lah...".
Honestly, I don't want to go. I hate pretending I'm delighted to go when actually I'm not. But in this marriage, there's a lot of pretending to do. Oh yes.... a lot! No matter how much you hate a person, you still have to put up a smile whenever you meet. You'd still have to ask polite questions to the other person eventho' deep down in your heart, you just want to say, "F*** off!!". It takes a lot of sacrifices and straight faces, indeed.
So, should I go or not?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
We didn't go anywhere this long holiday, preferring to stay in KL and make up for the lack of sleep. My eldest (step)daughter came home for the holidays. It's nice to have her around, tho' for a short while only.
Thursday morning was spent in Bangsar, window shopping. We had banana leaf lunch at Grand City, PJ. Nice! I haven't been there in long time (the last was maybe in 1996?). The kids enjoyed the food, Nizzar too. He had his own little banana leaf, and was happily picking on the rice & chicken. Then we went to my MIL's house ~ the whole bunch of relatives were there. Stayed there until quite late, then we went home to watch DVDs. Later that night, Mr & MrsNordin went to Red Box Plus @ Pavillion for karaoke! That place is quite happening lah, but slightly more expensive than the other Red Boxes.
Friday was spent in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. Not me; MrNordin. I helped with the potong bawang, as usual. He made daging salai masak lemak cili padi, ikan terubuk bakar, ayam goreng and sambal tumis ikan bilis & petai. I had a mega headache after that because of the petai (can't take too much of it, but I went overboard). Later that evening, we went out to GE Mall. I let Nizzar play at the Kidspotz while the older kids went to browse at MPH. The father had coffee with his cousin & brother at Starbuck. How wonderful, isn't it?
Went to visit my mum & dad at my brother's place in Shah Alam on Saturday. They just came back from Aceh. It was a good trip, they said.
Sunday, winding down day. Sent off Nabila at KL Sentral in the evening. Went to Shila's son's birthday party at her house before that. We had yee sang for dinner. MrNordin went out after that. And here I am, writing my piece before I call it a day.
I hate Sunday night like this!
This going-out-at-night business is becoming quite frequent these days. I'm getting pretty annoyed with his late night coffees with friends/cousins/brothers. We've had arguments on this many, many times already but it just didn't get into his head. He would stop going for a week maybe (after I voiced out my unhappiness), then it would start all over again.
I know the need for "male bonding" and I'm quite cool with it. Tapi kalau dah every other night asyik nak keluar minum kopi, wife mana tak marah? If tomorrow is a holiday/weekend, lagi lah. There'll be a long list of people calling him, wanting to meet up for coffee. Problem is, my ever-so-accommodating husband can never say no to the invitations. It makes him feel "bad" turning down his friends/relatives'. But he failed to realise that by doing that, he's letting his wife down at home...
Sigh... I need help. Am I over-reacting? I'm normally quite ok with him going out, but off late, it REALLY, REALLY BOTHER ME! When we first got married, I never had this problem. Only off late.
Is there something else besides the harmless coffee sessions? I don't know. Is it because I'm stuck at home with the kids and baby whilst he's out with his friends, that bother me so much? Could be. Should I tag along with him on his guys night out? Maybe. Maybe then his friends would finally stop asking him out! :)
I wish I could do the same. You know, go out at night with my friends for coffee/drinks. But ladies just don't do that. They stay at home at night, period. Well, we girls do meet up lah... but usually after work. And max up to 8pm. By that time, everyone will be looking at their watches / calling home to make sure that the kids have eaten / are ready for tuition or whatever. We feel guilty coming home so late coz we are worried for the kids & husbands. But the husbands...?
I rest my case.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
So, FIL asked us to check out this "En. Abdullah". We did, but we got a voice recorded message on the other end, asking us to call 103 or 109 followed by the last 7-digit of the first dialled number. Hmm... apasal pulak kena call a private number? We called anyway, thinking that "Eleh... sure nombor tipu ni!". Surprisingly, a male voice answered:-
MrN: Hello, boleh saya bercakap dengan En Abdullah?
MrX: En Abdullah tak ada.
MrN: Dia pegi mana?
MrX:Dia keluar pegi kerja.
MrN: Ini siapa?
MrX: Ini anak dia. (Pause) Ada apa hal, encik?
MrN: Tak de... tadi saya terima message suruh saya call En. Abdullah, tapi En Abdullah tak ada ya?
MrN: En Abdullah ni kerja kat mana, dik? Bila dia balik?
MrX: Dia mengajar kat Sek. Keb. xxxx, Kelantan. Petang nanti dia balik.
Oh oh... cikgu rupanya!
After saying thanks etc, I called back the 0062xxxxxxx no. I got a voice recorded message which said (in bahasa Indonesia's slang) "Nombor ini tiada dalam perkhidmatan. Sila hubungi operator telekomunikasi anda, bla, bla, bla..". Dah... ini sure kes some mamat Indon tak de kerja ni! I wasn't satisfied, so I called the same number again, but this time, the number couldn't be reached anymore. It went "Tuuuuuutttt..............Tuuuuuuuttttt.................."
So, sah lah it was a scam. Kesian my FIL, ingat dapat durian runtuh!! Hee... hee...!
Anyway, just be careful not to give your account number to any stranger who called. MrN then checked with his "friend" in Petronas who later informed that there's no such competition, and even the Petronas directors get this kind of prank calls sometimes. Geez!!! Tak de kerja betul lah diaorang ni!!