Monday, June 30, 2008

Two Weddings and a Farewell

Wedding #1
We attended MrNordin’s cousin’s BIL’s wedding at a hotel in Ampang last Saturday night. It was the groom’s 3rd wedding but the bride’s first. The first lasted 2 months; the second one lasted 2 weeks. MrNordin attended the first two weddings ~ so that night, many people were betting on how long this one’s gonna last. The groom sang a song for his bride that night, something which he never did in his first two weddings, so perhaps that was a good sign. I just wish the couple a good life and may it last longer than the previous two…

Wedding #2
This wedding was held last night at Tropicana. The bride was MrNordin’s ex-colleague in S**ll. She married an Indonesian guy, quite elderly, but she’s not that young either. I think she’s 40+ and that guy is 50 something. That’s her first wedding, but the guy’s status is unknown. Divorced; perhaps. One thing I know, he has a son aged about 25. I know this coz he sang a song for his “Papa and Mama” last night.

Nice, beautiful wedding. Despite the odd pairing, I think there was a lot of love put into the wedding preparation. The rombongan pihak lelaki from Jakarta & Bandung stick out in the crowd. The ladies were very elegant in their French lace and chiffon modern kebaya, in bright red or turquoise. Some wore pastel colors and they looked absolutely gorgeous with their nice hairdo and make up. The men were very classy too, in their tuxedos. It was quite a sight. I was busy admiring the ladies’ dresses with my friend, S**ri**z throughout the night.

After the cake cutting ceremony, the MC announced, “The bride and groom shall now have their first dance..” The lights went down and the couple took to the dance floor and slow danced to a lovely tune. Ahhh… so romantic! Then a few couples joined them on the dance floor, mostly the Indonesians. Some danced really slow and cool with their partner, while some were more adventurous and did the twirl on the floor. Gosh… they were so style! I wish it was me on the dance floor, twirling with MrNordin. But obviously since we were only the invitees, segan pulak nak menari kat situ.

As we walked to the car after the wedding, I told MrNordin, "I like the slow dance part. I think it was very nice.." He said, "Kita tak bolehlah buat slow dance macam tu. Sure bising orang..." But why not? They were dancing with their respective spouses, so I don't think it's haram. Sama jugak macam setengah orang buat joget lambak after a wedding. Isn't a joget lambak more loud?

I wanted to have a kugiran and joget lambak for my wedding, but due to unfortunate circustances, it couldn't be done. Never mind lah, I'll do it during one of my wedding anniversaries nanti or one of my daughters' weddings. That'll be the day!! Yippee!!

The Farewell
We dropped off Nabila at UiTM on Sunday. I felt quite sad leaving her there. When we left, she was about to go for her first taklimat at the Dewan Makan. She quickly said her goodbyes and tried to hold back her tears. Later when I reached home, I texted her and told her to be strong. Mula2 memanglah macam tu, but once she get to know her friends, it should be ok.

To me, if she survived Gopeng, this should be a piece of cake for her. Good luck, my dear girl! I'll always be thinking of you.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Tow Truck

MrNordin is back. Exhausted.

Our Naza broke down near the kids' school this evening. This is the second time the car cannot start in 1.5 months. MrNordin was still on the way back from JB at that time. Pakcik Mat, the driver, called me while I was relaxing in the bathroom. I had to rush out to fetch Nadim from school as it was already 7.15pm. Nadira was having tuition at a house nearby; I told her to walk home.

MrNordin made the arrangement with Naza to send a tow truck while he was on the NSE. Ok. We waited for 2 hours and after many calls, 3 guys came ~ in a car. They took a look at the car and made some calls, but no tow truck. Ten minutes later, another guy came ~ on a motorbike. He said he's the guy in charge of car breakdowns for Naza. But this one came sehelai sepinggang ~ no jack, no car battery, nothing! ~ and still, no tow truck.

By that time, it was almost 9.30pm. I was getting very impatient. 4 guys from Naza and they couldn't do a thing? Ooi! I want a tow truck lah! My car can't start! All the time when we were waiting, we thought there was a tow truck coming. Rupa2nya, the guy we thought was the tow truck man was actually that guy on the motor bike!

Man... was I furious! Kena maki lah budak2 tu! Bila nak suruh kita beli kereta, sikit punya manis janji. Tapi lepas dah jual, lepas tangan. Bila kereta rosak tengah jalan macam ni, semua claim they are not responsible. Tak tau mana tow truck, tak tau the process. What the hell! After sales service in this country is really appalling!!

Nasib baik my BIL was with me at that time. Dah puas I screamed at the 4 Naza guys, who seemed unperturbed by it as I guess that was a common phenomenon for them, my BIL called his friend who refered us to this tow person. Within 30 mins, dia dah sampai. And he's Chinese. Very efficient. Very big tow truck. Within one hour, semua dah selesai and the car is now nicely parked at the Naza Kia service centre in Setapak.

Nak tolong Melayu, itu lah jadinya. Buat sakit hati je. Orang Cina jugak pandai buat business. That's why melayu susah nak kaya.

I'm going to file a complain against Naza. I surely am!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Missing him

MrNordin is leaving for JB is 15 minutes. Coming back on Friday.

I miss him already... sigh....

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Report Card Day

I still haven't spoken to MrNordin about that. Malas.

But I have spoken to him lah, about other things. Dia pun tak tanya, so let's just leave it as it is for now.

Despite my anguish, there are some good news from the children's front. Nab***, my eldest stepdaughter, has just received an offer to do Finance in UiTM Shah Alam. She did well in her matrics and will now pursue a degree of her first choice. She's leaving this Sunday.

Nad***, my second stepdaughter, is first in class for her mid-term exam. She's in Form 5. We went to collect her report card this morning and when her teacher told me that she's got No. 1, I almost shed tears. I was so proud of her. She was smiling away, but MrNordin remained calm. He must be very proud of her daughter too, but men being men, kena lah maintain macho, kan?

In a while, I have to go back to school to collect the "anak teruna" punya report card. He's in Form 2. Yang ini, ada leceh sikit. Results dia selalu sama je... sederhana. Malam tadi Baba dia dah tanya, "Is there any surprise tomorrow?" He said, "You'll see..." Baba dia tanya lagi, "What do you mean?" Dia jawab, "Yes, there's a surprise, Baba..." "Good or bad?", the father asked again. He said, "Bad surprise."

Bad surprise ni yang tak suka nak dengar. Because of that, we're gonna pick up his report card much later. I'm sure he doesn't mind waiting since he knows he's gonna get a lashing from his father anyhow. Boys.. they are so different from the girls!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Monday Morning Blues

Had a lousy weekend. Mad with MrNordin. Stressed out with the little boy.

Does that summarizes how I felt?

My only regret is the little boy became my pinch bag. And I feel disgusted with myself..

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Matchmaking - Update

Hi! Sorry for not updating any sooner. I was caught up with work and family affairs.

I'm sure you all want to know what happen after that first meeting, right? Well... let's put it this way. It worked! My BIL took a liking for the girl and I think, the feeling is mutual for both parties. They went out on Saturday ~ but I don't know whether it was whole day affair or just lunch in Bangsar (as what he told me) because my MIL said, "Y*m keluar dari pagi tadi. Dia kata ada kursus di Klang the whole day." Hee... hee... you figure out for yourself !

We had a chat with him on Sunday night, me & MrNordin. He said, he liked her and would like to know her better. He told my MIL about her that night itself after he came back from that first meeting. My MIL was apprehensive at first (the fact her parents are from Ipoh), but after much coaxing, she relented and said, "Kalau dah jodoh, nak buat macamana..."

I was surprised he told my MIL about her so soon. I didn't think he'd like her straight away. I thought, he would still want to look around for other suitable candidates. You know... keep your options open. But after talking to him, I sensed he has grown tired of searching and would like to, for now, focus on this one person.

I'm so happy for him! That night when we were with him, they were calling and texting each other until late. His phone tak putus2 beeping, signalling of new messages. And he proudly showed me some of her SMS, too. Hai... teringat pulak masa zaman2 courting with MrNordin dulu... :-)

I'm thrilled for both of them. I guess, a December wedding is not a bad idea after all, huh?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

MrsNordin the Matchmaker

I played The Matchmaker last night! Hee... hee... for my BIL.

Yesterday was my BIL's birthday. He's the one who just broke up with his 8-year GF and is now looking for love. He's MrNordin's youngest brother. After reading my short posting on him here, a friend, M, suggested that I introduced her cousin to him. I agreed, she passed me her hp no, and I passed it on to my BIL. Since then, they've been comunicating via the mobile network.

But that was a good one month or so ago. Everytime I asked him, "Have you met her?", he said not yet. I asked why, he just smiled. Hee... slow betul lah! I've never met her either, but I was very curious to know what this girl looks like. Aren't you? After more than a month of texting and calling each other, wouldn't you want you meet this person? I would! Dah lah office dekat2 !

So, I took things under my stride. I thought, since it was his birthday yesterday, it would be a good idea for them to meet. So, I made some phone calls to my friend M and the relevant parties involved, and in the end, I managed to invite this girl out for dinner last night. And my BIL also agreed to come! Yeay!

The venue chosen was Chinoz KLCC. For some reasons, I pulak yang nervous! On my way to KLCC, the girl texted me and said she was already there. I told her to go in first. She came with her SIL. Through my friend M's description, I could figure out how she looks like, so I wasn't really worried about having to search for her in the crowd. Bila I sampai je, I terus nampak these 2 ladies sitting at one table looking through the menu. Both pakai tudung, so I figured that must be them. One youngish looking, another one quite elderly ~ so that must be the SIL.

My first impression ~ hmmm... ok. Nothing like my BIL's ex-GF because that one was quite stylish and trendy. This girl is very simple. She's fair. She looks exactly like my friend Mimi (Gina, our Mimi), but MrNordin thinks she looks like Nurul Izzah (Anwar Ibrahim's daughter). She's a lawyer by training, but now works in the Legal & Secretarial Unit (LSU) of another telco. What a coincidence, kan? MrNordin is in a LSU whilst I'm with a telco. Is that a good sign or what?

My BIL arrived about 15 mins later. He looked kinda nervous, tapi budak perempuan tu lagi lah nervous! I ordered pizza for her, she only managed to finish one slice. Tak lalu makan, katanya. Most of the time, they were just smiling and glancing at each other. Tapi she ok lah... kata orang, boleh diajak berbual lah. The ex-GF dulu, berat mulut sikit.

One problem is, parents dia orang Perak. Kampung dia dekat je dengan rumah I kat Ipoh. You know how my MIL feels about orang Perak kan? That makes my BIL worried. Tapi, MrNordin kata, ignore the fact lah. Both me and my other SIL are from Perak, too. Kalau he marries another Perak girl pun, kira dah basi lah cerita tak suka orang Perak ni. I guess, my MIL just have to accept the fact that all her DILs hail from Perak. What to do? Heh.. heh...

Tapi kita ni dah jauh pulak terlajak cerita, dah masuk bab kahwin pulak when that was only their first meeting. But MrNordin likes her, I think she's got potential. My MIL pun sure suka (besides the fact parents dia from Perak) because she pakai tudung. But whatever it is, it's up to my BIL lah. He's the one who's getting a girlfriend, not us. I think the girl likes him, tho'.

She texted me after she reached home last night, thanking me for the dinner. I asked if he called her after that. She replied, "He did :-) ..." Hurray!!! I'm now imagining a wedding at the end of this year!

Why do I feel like I am my mother? Dulu, emak I yang rajin buat kerja2 matchmaking ni. Sekarang ni, I pulak yang match make kan orang. Hee... hee... that makes me feel OLD! But I don't care. I like doing it, if it means making some people happy. I asked MrNordin if I was doing the right thing, he said, "You're doing just fine...".

I hope so!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Meet the In-Laws

I was reading a friend's posting here about how she was first introduced to her husband's (then boyfriend) parents. Lucky girl... just how I always imagined it to be. Unfortunately in my case, meeting the in-laws was done in the most unconventional way.

I did not meet my MIL until my nikah day. She refused to see me, although my FIL was kind enough to meet up with my parents several weeks before the wedding. You see, for me, bab pinang meminang ni tak ada. MrNordin pegi sendiri jumpa my parents in Ipoh, along with his three children, to ask for my hands in marriage. Parents dia tak masuk campur langsung. Ya lah... he had been married before and he knew what to do. So buat sendiri je lah. Infact, they didn't know about me until the very last minute, altho' I think they kinda suspect it already somewhere along the 3-year courtship (they always saw a green car parked outside their son's house ~ so apa kisah? Hee.. hee...)

Once we decided that we wanted to get married, MrNordin had invited both my parents to meet up with his family at his house as a matter of introduction. My FIL, both my BILs and everyone in my family came, except for my MIL, who locked herself up in her room and refused to come out. My FIL had to apologize saying that his wife was not feeling well that night, but all of us knew the real reason why she didn't come. She didn't like me. She refused to accept that his son was getting married to someone else after the wife passing. And I was not "her choice".

Luckily, I was forwarned about this. And mine was not an exceptional case. In fact, when MrNordin first got engaged to MrsNordin #1, his parents didn't even turn up ! Why? They didn't like MrsNordin # 1 either (at first). So, after knowing about how weird his parents were, I pun buat tak kisah saja lah. Mak dia suka ke tak suka, I don't care. I wasn't marrying her, right? That's what MrNordin kept on telling me, and because of that, I pun sanggup lah terima segala cabaran yang bakal mendatang....

But I kesian my parents lah. First time jumpa future besan, the lady besan tak ada. Nampak sangat macam dia tak suka sangat kat kita ni. But I'm glad my parents were very understanding about it as MrNordin had explained to them many times before that first meeting. Also, I think they trusted him with me, so they played along with the game.

So on the nikah day itself, I was supposed to meet my MIL for the first time. Imagine my fear, knowing that this woman didn't like me and could potentially ruin the most important day of my life. I was thinking, what if she didn't turn up? What if she said nasty words to me? Tapi I nekad je lah... Baju nikah semua dah pakai, make up were all done. Tak kan tak pegi pulak, ya tak?

The nikah was held at Masjid Keramat. Everyone seemed so tense that day, I didn't know why. Maybe it was me, maybe it was the circumstances... I don't know. My family, aunties, uncles, cousins were all there. Some friends were there too, including a whole bunch of other people whom I’ve never met before. I guess, those must be from MrNordin' s side of the family. But I wasn’t worried about them; I was more worried about meeting my MIL.

That’s why on the nikah day, I was crying a lot. I was so nervous. I kept on holding on to my dear friends' hands ~ Intan & Dada ~ who kept vigil next to me throughout the ceremony. I kept on asking myself, what have I got myself into? Can I do this? Are you sure about this? I saw MrNordin's 3 small children sitting quietly beside their father in the masjid, lagilah I rasa sedih!!

Then, my MIL arrived. I heard someone said to me, "Yati, ini lah mak Din.." Oh my God! She was walking up the stairs when I first saw her and she had that serious look on her face, unsmiling. Punyalah I gerun masa tu! I extended my hands to salam her, but dia salam sikit je and walked straight into the masjid with her entourage. She didn't even look at me! Wouldn't you feel hurt? I was! Orang lain semua nampak serba-salah, but I put up a brave front and told myself, "Tak apa... sabar...!" Seeing MrNordin in his white baju melayu sitting down infront of the kadi waiting for the akad, reminded me of the very reason why I was there. So, that small incident with his mother did not deter me from marrying this man I loved.

The ceremony went well. After the nikah, doa selamat and sarung cincin, I had to go around and salam people. First, I salam my mother (I cried), then my father (I cried again). Then, I was led towards my MIL, who was sitting next to MrNordin's aunty, head down. Gosh... how I dread this part! I walked slowly towards her, very nervous. Everyone was watching. I extended my hands towards her. I was afraid she wouldn't take it but she did. So, I salam her and kissed her hands. No word was spoken, tho'. Airmata dah berguguran ni... takut plus sedih!

I was about to go, when suddenly she pulled me into her arms. She gave me a hug and kissed me on both my cheeks, and she cried!! Oh my... that was so unexpected! I was so touched! I didn't expect her to do that coz I knew she didn't agree to the marriage for whatever reasons she had. I didn't know what to do but I felt so relieved that she had finally softened up. I held here there for a while and cried my eyes out. Upon seeing this, everybody else also started to cry. I saw all the ladies merah2 mata menangis. Like, finally the ice queen had melted and everyone could be happy now. I was so relieved!

So drama, huh? Hee.. hee... That was how I first met my MIL.

My MIL is a nice lady, very much like my mother, but she can be quite difficult sometimes. I don't blame her, she has had a bitter experience in life. My FIL married a second one when she was pregnant with my youngest BIL, and she only knew about it years after that. She was very bitter about this, and still is now, after more than 30 years. They still fight about it, the second wife is still very much in the picture, and I don't think they'll ever make peace with each other.

The main reason why she was against MrNordin marrying me was because I am from Ipoh (the second wife is from Ipoh as well). I was like a bad 'chi' to her as it reminded her of her past. Not everyone from Ipoh is a husband stealer, right? That was just her perception. Overtime, I've proven to her that I'm not actually what she thought I was. My intention when I married MrNordin was to jaga anak2 dia and for him to take care of me in return. I think I've done well in the children's department and we are happy as a family. So everyone else is secondary.

Whenever I see my MIL, I just be nice to her. I don't go overboard in trying to please her. Dulu, masa mula2 dulu ada lah jugak I tried to ambik hati dia. Beli kain lah, tudung lah, baju lah... Tapi semua yang I bagi, semua dia tak suka and were returned. Ahh... malas lah I nak bagi dia benda lagi lepas tu! So now when she complained that I never give her anything, I buat tak tau je. Kalau pegi mana2, we'll buy something for her, itu pun kalau ada terjumpa. Kalau tak, we don't. Kadang2, my husband sendiri kata tak payah beli untuk mak dia.

With this kind of MIL, one has to be extra patient. Cannot be over-sensitive; kalau tidak sure gaduh punya. I, for one, tak suka gaduh. Kalau my MIL call me and scream at me on the phone (oh yes, she's done that before), I just passed the phone to MrNordin. "B, you talk to your mother." Malas nak layan, buat sakit hati je. Most of the time, MrNordin is very supportive. I'm glad for that. Kalau tak, dah lama I angkat kaki ! Hee.. hee...

For those of you who have nice MIL, wonderful! Some MILs I know are very nice towards their DILs. For those who don't, just bear with them and try to be nice. That's all you need to do. Jangan fikir banyak2 sangat, nanti merana badan.


Mr & MrsNordin after akad nikah

(Ignore the date on the photo, it's wrong. The actual date is 17/01/2004)

Friday, June 06, 2008

Pray for This Friend

Bad news. My friend's husband, whose story I posted here, is confirmed of having lung cancer. And it's Stage 4.

God... I feel sorry for him. I went to visit him at the hospital two weeks ago. He seemed fine. Like his usual self, except for this huge lump on his right thigh. He said that was the effect of the cancer, but they couldn't confirm yet at that time.

But on a positive note, my friend sounded optimistic when I texted her just now. She said, they kinda expected it, and are now focusing on the treatment and getting better.

Syukur alhamdulillah... they need to think positive in times like this. I'll probably go and see him later. Friends who know them, please pray for him. That's all we can do for now...

Thursday, June 05, 2008

White Van Speakers

I think, MrNordin was conned yesterday. He brought home a home theatre system which he purchased from this guy at the Petronas gas station for RM1,500. The guy said usual price is > RM2k. He said the item was an 'extra' from the 'warehouse', and he needed to dispose it quickly coz he needed money for his pregnant wife who was going to deliver any time soon.

And my husband, sebab kesian punya pasal, bought the thing and paid it in cash. I think the guy was a good salesman and my husband couldn't say no. Now, we have a new set of HTS lying in our guest room but we don't know what to do with it because we already have 2 at home!

Itu yang I tak faham tu, we already have 2 at home, yang pegi beli lagi satu tu buat apa? He said, dia ingat cousin dia nak (obviously his cousin didn't want it, right? that's why it's still at our house!). And he thought RM1,500 was a scream. I thought it was a scam.

I malas nak bising kat dia ~ I've already given him a piece of my mind and he knew he had made a mistake. So this morning I searched for the HTS brand ~ Audiovisio ~ and what did I find? Actually it was a scam! Read below for more info; the modus operandi was the same:

White Van Speakers

White van speakers is a scam sales technique in which a salesman makes a buyer believe he is getting a good price on audio merchandise. Con artists in this type of scam call themselves "speakerguys" or "speakermen".

The Process

The typical white van speaker scam involves one or two individuals, who are usually dressed in T-shirts and jeans or business uniforms. They drive a SUV or a commercial vehicle (usually a white commercial van, which is the cheapest to rent) that often displays a company logo.

To find suitable targets, the van operators set up their con in moderately trafficked areas—parking lots, gas stations, colleges, large apartment complexes—or even watch heavy traffic for people driving expensive cars and wave them down. The marks are usually affluent young men, college students, or others thought to have large amounts of disposable income.

After the speakermen attract someone, they immediately launch into a loud, fast-paced, and relentless sales pitch, such as:

"Hey buddy, you want some really big speakers for your house? We are making a delivery, and they made a mistake at the loading docks. We are going to sell them cheap! Pull over!"

"The temps on the docks made a mistake. They gave us 6 sets of speakers instead of 6 speakers. We need to sell them before we get into serious trouble with our boss back at the store."

"The computer order called for too many speakers to get put on this truck, and it will cost the company money to re-stock them."

The operators claim that they work for an audio retailer or audio installer, and that, through some sort of corporate error (warehouse operator mistake, bookkeeping mistakes, computer glitches, etc.) or due to the client changing the order after supplies were purchased, they have extra speakers.

For varying reasons they need to dispose of the speakers quickly and are willing to get rid of them at "well below retail" prices. The con artists will repeatedly state the speaker "value" as anywhere between $1800 and $3000, prices often purportedly verified by showing a brochure or a magazine advertisement. They will usually also have an official looking website verifying their claims.

If the mark declines the offer, the speakerguy uses various high-pressure negotiation and sales tactics to change the mark's mind. Among these techniques are producing any other glossy material that details the quality and high retail value of the speakers, and bombarding the potential customer with technical jargon, whether correctly or incorrectly used.

If still unable to convince the mark that he is turning down an incredible offer, speakermen will almost always significantly lower the price immediately (the actual cost of the speakers may be less than 3% of the MSRP). Some speakerguys will even suggest that, since the customer got such a great deal, he should pay a little extra as beer money for his supposed benefactor.

If the speaker men reach their self-set sales goal, a number of points are accumulated which, at the end of the sales period, receive a bonus ranging from $200-$2000. The motto is "sell the fuck out" or S-T-F-O for short, and the office pays $20 beer money!


So ladies, please caution your husband on this, ok? I know, we ladies susah sikit nak termakan pujukan salesman macam ni coz we are more cautious of what we spend our money on. But orang lelaki ni, kadang2 mudah tertipu. Contohnya suami I.

En Nordin... En Nordin... when will you ever learn to say no ...

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Star Trek and Chocolates

I've been sitting here infront of the PC eating one chocolate after another. First, it was Sugus Gummy, which turned out to be yummy, despite that being my first time eating it. Next was Top ~ milk chocolate + caramel + rice crispies + wafer + cream. I finished it within seconds. I still have a pack of unopened Danone Tiger Biskuat waiting to be savoured. I'll have it with my coffee soon, after I finish this piece.

I'm not usually like this. I don't really have a sweet tooth. But once a month, I will have this craving for 'something sweet', and that usually happens just before I get my p*r*od. This time around, according to my calculation, it should be due tomorrow. So that explains it....

Yesterday, MrNordin asked me if we could spend some "quality time" together (and by this, I hope you all know what it means). It's not like him to make such suggestions because usually, I would be the one asking him that question when the 'cheeky' mood strikes. But this time around, it was him, and I was thrilled !

So, right after work, I went home and cooked dinner. Ayam masak korma! Penat jugak lah duduk kat dapur tu, lenguh berdiri ! Tapi nak impress husband punya pasal, buat jugak lah...

After dinner, I went up to take my shower. MrNordin ajak pegi bank to pay our bills lepas tu. I looked at the time, it was just after 10pm. So I brought the little boy along so he'd fall asleep in the car. Kalau budak kecik tu dah tidur, senang sikit lah nak projek, kan? Hee... hee..!

Tapi bila masuk je dalam kereta, I pulak yang rasa mengantuk. Alamak... macamana ni? I suddenly felt very sleepy. Tried hard to stay awake, but I kept on yawning and yawning. Baru pukul 10.30 ~ malam belum syahdu lagi, bank bills belum habis bayar lagi ! Susah ni..

By the third bank, the little pengganas had fallen asleep on my shoulder. I was still struggling to stay awake as I was adamant to make the night a night to remember.

When we got home, I put him in his cot and got ready for bed. MrNordin tengok TV, Star Trek. I tengok jam, dah dekat pukul 12 mn. Ok, tak apa... bagi chance dia tengok TV kejap. I hopped into the study room and checked on my blog. By 12.30 am, I was done and masuk bilik semula. MrNordin was still watching TV.

"Yang, cepat lah... I dah ngantuk ni.." I said. "Ok, ok... kejap je lagi. Dah nak habis dah cerita ni!" he said. I pulled the duvet cover, and the next thing I knew, I had gone to slumberland!

So much for "quality time", huh?

I remember vividly MrNordin kissing me somewhere in my sleep last night, but I was too sleepy to even bother opening my eyes. Well, he had a choice between Star Trek and me, right? Since he had chosen Star Trek, sorry babe... you can't have me!

(I'm hoping we could still make it tonight, tho'. But at the rate I'm going with the chocolates, err... I think the chances are pretty slim... )

Monday, June 02, 2008

When Love Ends

I was looking at this picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie over the weekend. A picture of bliss. She looks radiant, he looks happy. Both expecting twins any time now. No doubt she was a husband-stealer, but she made him a better man, so they say.

Then I thought of this picture, taken in the year 2000. Another picture of bliss.

Look, how happy they were on their wedding day. The man still looks happy today, albeit with a different partner, but the woman is still searching for love. How unfortunate.

Life is such, huh? So unfair to some people.

Over the weekend, I was engaged in endless conversations about MrNordin's cousin and his soon-to-be-ex-wife's story. My in laws, aunties, my husband, even children were all listening dilligently to the latest development and offered their two cents' worth on this matter whenever asked.

We went to visit her on Friday night; she looked ok but has lost a bit of weight. "Mas tak ada selera nak makan, kak Yati..", she uttered softly. Until today, I still can't believe that they are divorcing. There was no tell-tale signs, he just dropped the news like a bomb. That asshole! (pardon my French)

I can't believe people can fall out of love so easily and leave everything behind just because they've found someone else. In this case, we don't know yet if there's another woman involved but I can bet my bottom dollar, there is. No man would leave just like that if not for another woman. He won't just pull the plug and say, "Hey, I'm leaving coz I can't stand living with you anymore" and wants to live alone now. No way jose! It's either there's another woman or, another man.

Yes I know, people do fall out love but I think when you’re married, you have to try and make it work whichever way you can. To say something like, “My life has been miserable all this while..” after 12 years of marriage and 3 children is totally absurd ! To me, marriage is something very sacred. Once you’re married, you are married for life. Whatever differences you have with your spouse must be sorted out quickly and amicably. Stay married, for better or worse. Kalau susah, cari jalan macamana nak selesaikan masalah tu. Don’t just leave.

It’s so irresponsible of a man to drop everything behind just because you cannot stand your spouse’s face. What about the children? They were conceived in the heat of lovemaking, tapi masa tu tak de pulak menyampah dengan your wife? Sekarang ni pulak baru nak kata my life has been miserable all this while? Podah chit! I seriously have no respect for this kind of man!

Maybe I’m too na├»ve, or maybe I baru kawin 4 tahun, that’s why my premonition about marriage is still fairytale-like. But don’t think I haven’t gone through any failed relationship before. I have, and I know the feeling of being dumped by someone whom you have loved and devoted yourself to for many years. It’s painful. Perhaps not as not as bad as if I had been married to that person, but believe me, the pain was still severe.

I know some of you have gone through divorces before, and you survived. That's what I kept on telling Mas when I met her, "You have to be strong! Don't meddle in self-pity and don't you ever blame yourself for what happened because this is not your fault. You go to court (the ex-husband has filed in the court papers) and give him a good fight Don't let him bully you!"

This woman kept on reminiscing about her ex-husband, worrying whether or not he's been eating well when the ex doesn't even give a hoot about her anymore. The reason for his lafaz cerai was "isteri yang tak bertanggung jawab terhadap anak2". Why? Because one of those unfortune days, she let her eldest daughter took her 2-year old brother to the shop to buy some sweets. And the shop was just 50 meters away. She was having a headache at that time and couldn’t get up, so she let them go because the little boy was screaming for gula2. The husband came back, saw this, and terus mengamuk. Nak cari pasal, kan? Terus jatuh talak.

The wife is not working at the moment. She quit her banking job early this year because she had misused some loan which she had taken out for her husband. The husband was having some financial problems, so he asked the wife to use that money first (see, the blunder was caused by the husband jugak). She has rightfully paid back all the money, but because of that fiasco, the bank had asked her to leave. This, after being with the bank for more than 10 years.

So now that she’s out of job, the husband felt that she’s such a burden for him. Forced the wife to look for a job at Tesco (jadi cashier or angkat barang dengan Bangla, he said) because he was so desperate. So heartless, kan? There were times when the husband was out of job dulu and the wife had to tanggung him, never did she complain about it. Ni, baru 5 bulan tak kerja, dah kena cerai. Macamana tu?

To me, the husband is just an ungrateful man. The wife was so patient, I tell you. Jenis selalu kena kutuk by the husband depan orang ni, and yet she remained smiling and never answered him back for fear he would marah her back or leave her. One time a few years ago, they were fighting in the car. The husband just pulled over in the middle of the Federal Highway and pushed over the wife tepi highway tu. Tak ke kesian tu? She called MrNordin, crying, asking him to pick her up and her two small children who left by the roadside by her crazy husband. She broke an arm in the incident and had to be hospitalized. So sadist, kan? And yet she still took him back...

I hope this time around, she will NOT take him back regardless of how hard he begs her to. Oh, I’m sure he will come crawling back especially after he finds out that she’s got a job. And when that happens, I seriously hope she’d tell him to get lost because of the awful things that he had done to her. Kita orang perempuan ni must have some sort of dignity and respect for ourselves jugak, kan. Kalau orang dah buat kita macam tu, tak kan kita nak terima balik bulat2, betul tak? Macam kita ni tak ada harga diri. He has clearly stated that he doesn’t want her anymore, so why take him back? For him to change, I don’t think that will ever happen. So, I think she’s better off without him.

As for the children, I'm sorry they have to go through this. Three innocent children aged 11, 7 and 2, all caught in a sorry state because their father had fallen out of love with their mother. What do they know about divorce, right? All they want is for their mother and father to be back together under that same roof and be a happy family again like how they used to be. Sadly, that's not going to be the case for them anymore. I pray they will be strong to face the consequences and future of a broken family...