Thursday, February 21, 2013

Torn

Ever since Nizzar started going to school, my life has gone haywire. When previously I could happily wake up at 7.30am, now I need to get up by 6am. By 6.50am, dah keluar rumah. Dulu, 8.00 am I was still at home.

At night, I’d be in bed by 9.30pm. “I will only sleep when you sleep, Mummy!” So, nak tak nak, terpaksa tidur cepat. If not, I would have trouble getting him out of bed in the morning.

The moment I hit the pillows at night, I would straight away doze off although in my mind, I thought I would get up again later. Unfortunately, this hasn’t happened yet.

I feel that my life is being controlled by the little boy. My mind is constantly thinking about him: Does he has any homework today? Did he do his work in class today? Did he lose his pencil again? Is the eraser still in the pencil box? What books to bring tomorrow? What food to bring for bekal? Where are his shoes? His tie? His baju sekolah? His watch? Arrrrggghhhh!!!

The constant worrying about the boy who-doesn’t-want-to-do-work-in-school is turning me into a nervous wreck. I worry most of the time, especially in the morning when sending him to school. I don’t even have time to care for myself anymore. I would just grab whatever baju I see in the cupboard to wear in the morning when previously, I would plan what to wear to office. Make up – sometimes sempat, sometimes tak sempat.

The worse thing is - I don’t even have time to do my hair! And that is just horrible! Before this, I need at least one hour in the morning to do my hair. Now, I don’t have such luxury anymore. I have to wash my hair at night now which is quite a hassle because after you sleep on it, the style would be ruined.

I did try to wash it in the morning recently. Memang tak sempat nak blow dry! It was wet and disheveled when I reached the school. And my son had the cheek to tell me, “Mummy, never mind … on your way to work, you can wind down the window and let the wind blow your hair. By the time you reach your office, I’m sure your hair will look nice and beautiful!” Ha ha… wishful thinking, Nizzar. It didn’t happen as you wished.

The constant worrying over the 7 year old has led me to neglect the other important person in my life, ie. my husband. Dah lah dia kerja di JB. Whenever he’s back, I wouldn’t bother so much about him because I would be busy organizing the little one. Kesian dia.. sometimes I feel bad for not giving him much attention.

Well, he does not complain lah.. but deep down I’m sure he feels neglected. But what am I to do? I only have 3 hours to spare after work! I can’t even allocate time for myself, what more to give attention to 2 persons?

Balik kerja, letak beg, shower and terus sit down with the little boy to do his homework. (This is when I don’t have to cook dinner. If I cooked, I can forget about homework with Nizzar). Homework would take one hour, at least. Then I’ll have my dinner. By the time I finish dinner, it would be 9 o’clock and that means, bed time is in half an hour.

By this time, my husband would probably be home already, if he’s in KL. He would just eat whatever that’s left with the older kids while I sort out budak kecik tu. By the time he comes up to our bedroom, I would be in bed, reading bedtime stories to the little kid. He insists I read to him 3 books every night! Lepas tu baru dia akan tidur. After reading, I would be so bombed out already and would fall asleep together with him.

How to layan husband? Plus my husband sleeps very late every night. Sorry lah… cannot wait!

Luckily the 2 older kids can look after themselves. And I’m so glad bibik is around to help with the cooking, cleaning, washing & ironing clothes. If not, can die lah!

Am I over focusing my attention to the little boy? Should I just let go a bit and focus more on my husband? Like, leave the kids and go for a much needed week-long break with my husband in Zurich? (like some people I know…)

Thursday, February 07, 2013

I Am English

I received a phone call from Nizzar’s class teacher the other day. “Puan, anak puan ni tak nak buat kerja. Buku pun tak de!”

Adoi.. and that was on 7 Feb 2013 – a month after school started.

So, I went to the school to meet the teacher.  I kind of expected this would happen because ever since he started schooling, I’ve only seen him doing homework twice. Whenever I asked him, he said “No homework.”, or, “I’ve done it in class.”

Tak kan tak de homework? I tengok budak kelas lain, ada je homework. Tak kan he’s so efficient semua boleh siap in class?

Books – he took them all to school to keep in a locker, he said. So, I really had no clue what he had been doing in class until that day.

When I arrived at the school, I waited for the little rascal outside the pejabat gurubesar. At 1.15pm, I saw him walking towards me smiling, “Hi Mummy!”, he said (as if nothing happened). I told him that I was meeting his teacher because she said you have not been doing your work. He said, “Ok!” (mode: indifferent).

At 1.30pm, the teacher came to see me. Happily, the little rascal introduced me to the teacher, “Mummy, this is my teacher, Puan Suraya!” (mode: happy). Again, as if nothing happened.

The teacher was very nice... She wasn’t angry or anything, she just informed me what my son had been up to.

It seemed he has not been doing any work in class. He just refused to do his work! When teacher told him to copy what was written on the white board, he said, “I don’t want to do! Budak lain semua dah tulis 10-12 pages, buku dia kosong! Satu page pun tak de tulisan! Tak tahu apa dia buat in class!

Activity book – some ada buat, some tak de buat. Some of the text books are missing, the same goes for his exercise books. Aiyo… how lah?? The best thing is, every day I would discover something missing from his pencil box. Pensil hilang, eraser hilang, sharpener hilang.. tapi kerja tak buat! Mana pegi benda2 tu semua??

All I could do was just shook my head in disbelief.

Fortunately, the teacher was quite helpful. She asked me to go to the classroom and look for his books with her. Then she showed me how far the other kids have done in the exercise books and what Nizzar needs to do to catch up. So, I borrowed those books and made photocopies so I know what my son needs to do.

I tell you, those are easy work which he could have easily finished in a snap. But the thing is, he’s just too lazy to do it. I don’t know why he didn’t want to do it. Is it because he doesn’t understand what the teacher said, or because he doesn’t like writing? Or is it because he just doesn’t want to get penalized for doing a poor job?

That was the BM teacher. I also met the English, Maths and Science teachers who all told me the same thing: “Nizzar tak nak buat kerja!” And they all gave me work samples of what he had missed out to do at home.

It was very embarrassing, you know. But one consolation, they said, he’s not the only one. There are other kids who are in the same boat! Hee.. Hee..

When I got home that night, I sat down with him to make sure he did as much as he could. True enough, sekejap je dah siap. My question is, why kat kelas tak nak buat?

So, I’m not surprised if the teacher scolded him in class. Cakap bukan main pandai. That morning when I sent him to school, he told me, “Mummy, I really like school you know?” When I asked why, he said, “I like my class.. my friends.. and I want to get A+ in my work!

Amboi… what a proud moment! At that time, I was truly convinced that my son was very into this school thing. Unfortunately, at 10.30am that same morning, the teacher called me saying my son has not been doing any work! How to get A+ like that?!

But one funny thing happened when we were looking for his books in the classroom. I was with the BM teacher at that time and Nizzar was talking to me in English. The teacher asked me, “Nizzar ni boleh cakap Bahasa Malaysia tak?” I said, “, “Boleh… sikit2..”. “Dia faham tak?”, tanya cikgu tu lagi. “Faham… “ i said. Then, the teacher told me, “Hari tu saya tanya dia, awak ni Melayu ke? Dia jawab: "I am English!!”  

Nizzar… Nizzar… what am I going to do with you..??