Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hello !

I’m really way behind my writing. The last posting was on 2nd February? Did anyone miss me? Hee… hee… I bet!

Let’s just do a quick recap on what I’ve been up for the last 3 weeks:

Old Flame

Has been deleted from my list. The flame has stopped glowing. You wanna know why?

A week after the reunion, I received a weird SMS from him saying, “Talipon Nani sekarang! Dia demam dan pengsan in skool. Awak kan kawan dia?!

My first thought, “Budak mana hantar SMS ni? Sounded like budak darjah 6 je….”

I didn’t reply his SMS although I knew it was from him. I found it very strange that he would write such a thing.

So, I called up my friend Nani and asked if indeed she fainted in school. She said, it was a hoax. The guy was pulling a prank on her.

Why would a 42 year old man pull a silly prank like that on another friend? And using that kind of language? Macam bahasa Mat Rempit saja (if not Adnan Sempit!).

So, I was disappointed. He has such bad writing (and spelling) skills. Plus, he’s acting a bit weird for a man his age.

So, I extinguished all thoughts of him from my mind. All the 30 years of glorifying this guy came crushing down just by his dense SMS. How could he be so childish? Did he think he was still 12?

And right at that moment, I’ve never felt more relieved that I married my husband, who has impeccable writing style. And he's normal. Thank God!

Nasi Kandar

I’ve tried the nasi kandar at the brand new Kassim Mustafa at Jalan Doraisamy. It’s yummy!

I would safely say, it’s nicer than Kudu. They have this nasi minyak which is very light and tasty, goes very well with their ayam masak kurma. Go and try it one of these days. You won't be disappointed.

The restaurant is clean and the food is not that expensive either. 6 of us, 4 had nasi kandar while 2 had naan and tandoori chicken, cost only RM49.00. I almost flipped! If at Kayu near my house, it would probably cost us RM100. Madness!


He’s growing up fast. Has put on quite a bit of weight ever since the new maid came around. His feeding time is more regular nowadays. Breakfast, lunch & dinner at almost the same time every day. He likes to eat rice and chicken with kicap manis.

The new maid is pretty attentive towards him and the little boy has grown quite fond of her. He picks up new words every day and tersangat lah bijak bercakap. Tak henti-henti!

Whenever I call home from the office, he would be the one answering the phone. I guess kids that age just love talking on the phone, don't they? Kalau Wan dia yang talipon, sampai habis lah prepaid orang tua tu!

But I love to hear him chat. Sometimes merapu, sometimes cute. The other day, we were going into the car when he stopped by to read out his Baba’s car plate number. He went, “W..J..X.. 8..5..6..5..… BABA!” Hee.. hee…

His fascination for Ultraman hasn’t faded just yet. Still crazy over Ultraman after all these years. But at the same time, he also has taken a strong liking for Upin & Ipin. Hey, actually that film is not that bad. Very good for a local production. I'm very impressed with it and have been watching it time and again with the little boy. He likes Ipin while I like Raju. "Sepiiiii... GO!!!"


Oh ya, we were in Cherating during the last CNY break. A friend's father runs a "resort" there and so we were booked for 3D/2N. There were 4 families altogether. Plus children, there were easily 20 people in our group.

The weather was surprisingly nice in Cherating unlike the scorching heat in KL. But you can't go to the sea anyway during the day, unless you want to get sunburnt. So in the afternoon, we just lepak at the chalets. In the evening baru main kat pantai.

I didn't really enjoy this trip actually. Maybe because it was one of those days, you know... I was getting my p****d and just simply tak ada mood. At one time, I just wished we had stayed elsewhere.

But my husband seemed to enjoy himself very much. Surrounded by his friends and family, I think he enjoyed himself the most main layang2 on the beach.

We set up tents and bonfire the last night we were there. Then we huddled around the fire, telling ghost stories. The children loved it.

I lied down on the beach that night, looking up to the stars in the sky. It was magical. But considering the amount of sand that got stuck in my hair after that, err... I think I should have known better!

(no photos, malas nak ambil gambar)


Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Facebook and Old Flames: A Dangerous Mix

I found this article by chance. Read on and give me your thoughts:

I wonder how many old flames have been reignited because of Facebook. I wonder how many affairs are going on right now that began with a friend request. Quite a few, I would bet.

I signed up for Facebook less than six months ago. I love it. I live thousands of miles away from where I grew up and went to college, and I’ve gotten back in touch with many old friends. It’s a fantastic tool.

I’ve also become “friends” with more than one ex-boyfriend. With most of them, we say hi, give a quick status update, check out each other’s photos, and that’s that.

But a few have made definite romantic overtures. They’ve sent questionable emails, and flirted, and told me I look great. The problem is that at least two of these guys are married.

I think this is pretty common. I would guess that it’s happened to most people on Facebook – at least, most of those of us who are old enough to have lost track of old lovers.

Would it happen without Facebook? Probably not. Until I signed up for Facebook, this didn’t happen to me. And for all we like to wail about the loss of privacy on the internet, most of us aren’t actually googleable.

I’ve googled lots of old friends and acquaintances and had zero relevant hits turn up. And even when google does turn up with something and you find an old flame, you have no valid reason for contacting an ex-lover out of the blue. To send an out-of-the-blue email to a long-lost lover, you must be either very curious or very brave.

But this all changes with Facebook. Suddenly, we can find old flames in an instant, and there’s a perfectly good reason to contact them – we’re friending all our high school buddies, why not them too? Friending is so casual. It doesn’t violate any etiquette. It’s all too easy.

I haven’t been tempted to engage in online flirtation with these guys, but that’s because I’m not what I call an IVP: an Intrigue-Vulnerable Person. But IVPs are common. My workplace is crawling with them. And a few years ago, I was one.

Here’s what makes for an IVP:
• Boredom with your relationship and/or homelife
• Stress related to your relationship and/or homelife
• Loneliness and/or a feeling of being undesirable or taken for granted by your mate
• Unrequited love for someone from your youth (this one is the most dangerous)

If you’re an IVP, and you get a flirtatious email from an old flame, a little spark goes off in your chest. A tingle. It puts a smile on your face. So you start corresponding, perhaps innocently at first, and now you have a fun little secret. You start reliving old memories.

Online, you’re both at your charming best. You carefully compose your emails and you choose your words to be witty, self-deprecating, and fascinating. You anxiously await a reply in your inbox. Your instant messages are effervescent.

Not only do you put your best self forward online, but your old flame sees you that way too. They remember you when you were young. They still think of you as young. They don’t see you as middle-aged, they see you as a vibrant 19 year old in a grown-up body. It makes you feel young. It makes you feel sparkling and interesting and desirable. It’s intoxicating.

Some of these emotional affairs will never leave the bounds of the internet. But some will turn physical, and some will break up marriages. I posit that this phenomenon will grow by leaps and bounds because of Facebook.

I am not blaming Facebook nor excusing adulterers. We are all responsible for our own behavior. But in my assessment, most people are vulnerable to affairs at one point or another. The reason they don’t happen more often is not because most people have wonderful self-control, but because opportunities are either non-existent or come at too high a cost.

But Facebook significantly decreases those costs. It allows people to fool themselves. It starts so innocently. It provides both the means and the motive for contacting an old flame. Hell, you can chat with your ex-lover on your laptop while your spouse is in the same room!

But an “innocent” exchange can turn into attraction and emotional attachment very, very easily. The allure of the old flame – of the person who knew you when you were young – should not be underestimated. It can be very powerful.

So, while I believe in personal responsibility, I also have sympathy for those who struggle to resist something so powerful. Technology dangles an exponentially-increasing number of temptations in front of our noses: 5,000 years ago, we didn’t have to struggle to avoid that last piece of pizza, or that unnecessary credit card purchase, or surfing on our boss’s dime, or having an online affair – those things simply didn’t exist.
Today, we must all exercise constant vigilance against incessant social and technological influences that do not have our best interests in mind.

So, I’m not quick to judge. But I do worry.

Am I making something out of nothing here? Should we all just trust ourselves and our partners to use proper self-restraint and go on our merry ways?

I’m admittedly a cynic, but I work around middle-aged family guys, and judging from the boredom and dissatisfaction most them express with their lives, I doubt they could be trusted to maintain appropriate boundaries if they were contacted by a flirtatious ex. (Note: the same could be said about women, I just happen to work with mostly guys).

What do you think?