Thursday, May 29, 2008
I sent him an SMS saying that I love him and sorry for feeling how i felt. He said sorry, too, for being insensitive towards my feelings. That's that.
Then later after work, we met at Chinoz for dinner ~ a date, he said.
We didn't talk about "that" initially, but meddle about his cousin's soon to be ex-wife's story. She went for an interview at MrNordin's office today for a temporary post. The feedback was positive; now pending a reference check with her previous employer. With a job coming, that should keep her going. I really hope she gets it.
While waiting for our coffee to arrive, I asked him, "Pegi rumah mak ngah nak malam ni?" He looked at me and gave me that cynical smile. "The last time you said that, it turned out to be disastrous..." he said. I smiled back at him and gave him a squeeze on his arm. "I love you, baby.." I said.
I'm glad I got the message across and he was totally understanding about it. I didn't expect him to read what I've written, let alone leave a comment, but I appreciated what he did and it made me happy.
At first, after I wrote that piece, I wanted to delete the posting because I felt I was being a little too insensitive by venting my anger at him in my blog which is read by many. Orang kata, tak elok "membuka pekung di dada" and I felt bad about it. That's why I left the PC on last night, hoping to get back to it once the little boy has gone to sleep. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be and he had to read it.
So, I asked him just now if, in anyway, he felt that I shouldn't post this kind of thing anymore. He said, "No, just write what you feel like writing. But use your own discretion..." Can't tell you how relieved I was when I heard that.
My husband has a beautiful writing style, one of the first things that I noticed about him. You may have noticed it, too, through the several comments that he has left behind. His posts are carefully worded and well thought-out, something which I cannot do. I will just write whatever comes to my mind, which usually turns out frantic, but he will write with such grace. He said he writes what comes to his mind as well, but I guess his thoughts are more composed than mine.
We didn't go to mak ngah's house tonight. He was tired, he said, and is now fast asleep with the little boy besides him. I'm too excited to sleep, hence this posting.
Thanks, my friends, for being supportive. MrNordin was quite relieved as well to know that y'all didn't think bad of him for leaving me behind the other night. Hey, we are more sensible than that, aren't we?
Good nite, sleep tight...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I have a few things to write about, but I’m just not in the mood to start. Is it because I didn’t kiss my husband goodbye this morning?
I was in a foul mood last night and was not very happy with him going out to his aunt’s place to discuss the predicament of his cousin’s wife who had just been dumped by his cousin (get it?). I was supposed to go, I wanted to go; but the little boy was still awake at that time. He was crying and very cranky; demanding my attention. I couldn’t leave him with the maid coz the kitchen was still in a mess after late dinner; and the older children were minding their own businesses. I felt I had to stay and mind the baby, and shouldn’t leave just like that.
This was also because prior to that, I was out with some friends visiting a friend’s husband at GH. He's suspected to have lung cancer. I had dinner outside and came home about 9pm, just after MrNordin reached home. I was quite looking forward to go to that aunty’s place last night, but unforeseen circumstances, listed below, forced me to abandon my plan.
1) Our Astro is down; I called Astro 3 times yesterday, but no bloody technician ever called me back to fix an appointment. The Customer Service officer kept on telling me to wait 4 hours, a few minutes, and finally 24 hours! I was bloody mad! In fact I’m still mad right now because I just called Astro again and they told me to wait another 4 hours. What the he**!! It’s been more than 28 hours since I made that first call to complain, but still NO ONE comes around to fix the problem. Such poor after sales service you’ve got there, Astro! You suck big time!!!
2) Baru nak naik atas salin baju, I found out susu Nizzar dah habis. The maid said she had asked Nabila to tell Nadira to text me when I was outside to buy milk & roti, but Nadira said she was not aware of it. I believe, either Nabila didn’t pass the message or Nadira just didn’t listen carefully. It was 10.30pm, kedai dah nak tutup. So I told the maid to just use the other milk powder that we have in spare, but someone said, “But he won’t drink..”.
I was so cheesed off when I heard that remark. If you had known that the boy will not drink any other milk but Isomil Plus and that his milk is almost finished, could you PLEASE make sure that I get the message in advance, so I could purchase the thing when the shops are still open? Ini tak. Bila kita dah sampai rumah baru nak cakap. Macam tak de kerja lain asyik nak ke kedai saja! Budak2 ni pun satu, bila pesan something, sure either they get it wrong or they forget about it completely!
So, I told off the maid ~ "Benda2 macam ni, jangan pesan kat budak2 ni sebab they are either 1) very bad at remembering instructions, or 2) just can’t be bothered. In other words, tak boleh diharap." What’s so difficult about picking up the phone and call me direct? Yang nak pass2 message suruh SMS tu, apa hal? Kalau talipon orang lain, boleh pulak cakap berjam2. Ini nak talipon saya, suruh beli susu pun susah sangat?
I was so mad! Dah lah penat, dengan si Nizzar crying and tugging at my dress nak minta dukung, plus the living room yang tunggang langgang with his toys and cars. But what choice did I have, right? Not much. MrNordin was upstairs taking a shower. So I had to drive out again to buy the milk. It was almost 11pm. I keluar je in my housecoat because tak sempat nak salin, takut kedai tutup. Nasib baik sempat. Itu pun dapat brand lain, lantak lah.
Sampai rumah, the maid tengah mandikan the boy who was crying out loud sebab dia tak nak keluar from the bath sink. MrNordin was screaming for me from upstairs, asking me to get ready. I was trying hard to control my temper and memang dah lost all mood to go out again. I naik je ke atas, MrNordin dah bersiap2. “Eh, kata nak pegi rumah mak ngah. Cepat lah siap!” he said. It was 11.15pm. “I’m not going.” I told him. “But why? Tadi you yang beriya nak pegi.” he asked.
Ya, tadi memanglah I nak pegi, tapi dengan anak you yang tak tidur lagi ni and meragam macam ni… macamana I nak pegi? And I feel very rimas! I just want to put my baby to sleep first. Can you wait? No, of course you cannot because there were people waiting for you...
Then dia cakap apa, tau? “Tadi you jugak yang balik lambat, pegi hospital…” Eh eh.. baru sekali tu lah balik lambat sikit, dah nak complain? Itu pun balik pukul 9 malam, bukannya 2 pagi cik abang oii! And I went to the hospital tengok orang sakit, but bersuka ria sembang minum kopi!
That really riles me up! I had a feeling he was not very happy with me going to the hospital. That's really unfair!
The way I saw it, you berkejar2 nak tolong selesaikan masalah orang. Yang kat rumah ni, macam tak kisah. Why can’t you just stay with me last night, help me mind the child? Ini, balik kerja, letak beg, makan, mandi, then keluar balik. Senangnya hidup! Tak kisah langsung isteri ni keluar masuk mengisahkan hal anak2...
Sigh... I wish you would turn back last night when I heard you pulled out of the driveway. I wish you come back and tell me, “Ok lah, since you’re not going, I pun tak nak pegilah.” But that was just my wishful thinking, right? Of course you did not turn back...
So this morning, I did not speak to him. He told me something about getting a job for the cousin's wife, I malas nak dengar. Then he went to the bathroom and shut the door. I went down without kissing him goodbye.
I know I shouldn't be doing this but I wish he would pay more attention to US than to other people. Masa kat Langkawi pun, tak habis2 talking on the phone and checking on his Blackberry. He always looked very disturbed ~ I guess worried about the crisis in KL. Sampai2 je kat rumah malam tu, terus cakap on the phone dengan siapa ntah, pasal cerita ni lagi. Sampai I dah naik menyampah. (Haa.... that's the word! Menyampah!)
MrNordin, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. But I have to do this to let off steam. Otherwise I won't be able to speak to you again. That's how bad I'm feeling right now... :(
The trip was, how should I say? Gratifying, but expensive. I can’t believe that a two-night stay like that would cost us RM5k! And this is Cuti-Cuti Malaysia, ok? Belum lagi pegi oversea. And naik Firefly, bukan MAS. Kalau naik MAS, lagi lah mahal. Adoi…
Why is it so expensive, you may ask?
1) Every time we travel the whole family, we have to get 2 rooms. So, accommodation is double the price (and accommodation in Langkawi is NOT cheap, ok?).
2) Flight tickets ~ 6 adults + 1 infant (infant pun kena bayar, albeit minimal).
3) Meals kira “6 adults”; no more “2 adults + 4 children”.
So, that’s why it’s expensive. Ini belum masuk duit makan minum, shopping, transport and other misc. stuff. That’s why everytime after balik holidays, we will shaking our heads in disbelief while sipping Nescafe tarik kat kedai mamak.
Anyway, duit boleh cari, kan? Time spent with the family on holidays like this are precious. Kena lah sacrifice sikit. Here are some photos from the trip:
We arrived in Langkawi at 3.45pm on Saturday. The flight was ok, better than the Berjaya Air Fokker to Redang. Nizzar behaved quite well on the plane. I was afraid he would be running along the aisle, but thank god, he did not (I think, the new toys I bought did the work!).
We were met by my brother, A, at the airport, who had arrived earlier by ferry. I’ve asked him to pick-up our rented car from Kuah and meet us at the airport. We got an Innova for RM160 per day, thanks to my uncle who made the arrangement for us (usually, an MPV like that would cost >RM200 per day during school holidays.)
Checked-in at the hotel, then we went out again to makan in Kuah. We missed the akad nikah which were held at 5pm that day simply because we were tired. We thought of visiting at night, but my mum said, “Tak payah lah, malam ni tak ada apa sangat.” So, we decided to check-out the duty-free shops in Kuah.
Actually, shopping in Langkawi is not that great, unless you’re into pinggan mangkuk and stuff. Those, chocolates and cigarettes are cheap, but other things cost almost the same as in KL. We bought some chocolates and cookies while MrNordin bought some cigars for his own consumption.
Tapi, I tengok orang lain shopping, gila sakan! Berduyun-duyun orang keluar masuk kedai, and bila keluar je, they’ll be carrying this huge plastic bags containing their purchases. Siap beli extra bag lagi! (err… we all did too, but only one bag). The men would wait for their women outside the shops. But in our case, WE the women had to wait for our men (because my husband suka membelek barang!)
After shopping tu, we went back to the hotel and lepak. I was too tired to even go out for dinner. MrNordin went out with the girls to find food along Pantai Cenang. They came back after midnight.
The next day, we indulged in some serious photo taking on the beach.
In the afternoon, we went to my cousin's wedding.Unfortunately it rained, and so it was a wet wedding. I met my parents (who had arrived a week earlier), my aunties, uncles, cousins etc. I think the whole Tn Hj Wahid’s clan was there to help out with the wedding. This uncle is my mum’s youngest brother. He works with the Custom Dept. in Langkawi. His wife is a teacher. They met during their Uni days in USM. Very cool couple.
As for the bride and groom, all I can say is they are young. I think my cousin (the bride) has just finished her diploma in UiTM and the groom, I don’t know if he’s already working or not. He must have, kan? Otherwise, macamana nak tanggung bini? When I saw them, I told MrNordin, “Yang kawin, kawin… yang cerai, cerai juga…” I just hope they know what they’re getting into and are married for life.
On Monday, before we left for KL, the stopped by at Telaga Harbour. We bought nasi bungkus on the way there and scouted for a picnic spot around that area. We managed to find one, and had our nasi bungkus lunch overlooking the marina. Nice.. The kids seemed to enjoy this kind of 'impromptu' picnic these days. And I like it too!
Our flight home was at 9.10pm. Ramai orang! This time, the little boy was quite mischieveous ~ walking up and down the aisle, saying hello to the passengers. For that, he got some sweets from a nice 'uncle' and treats from the air hostess. I was afraid some passengers would complain, but luckily none was received. We reached home almost 12 m.n.
Next trip? Supposed to be Jakarta for another wedding. But on second thought, maybe only Mr & MrsNordin will be going. The kids have to stay becoz budget sudah lari. Itu pun kalau jadi pegi. I haven't really thought about it. Nanti lah dulu, slow, slow...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
My tailor came to the office just now. 6 pasang kain sekali hantar! Ambik engkau! Itu pun ada lagi 3 pasang belum berjahit. Maybe I'll send those to a different tailor. Gila buat baju, I tell you!
We are going to Langkawi this Saturday. My uncle, who lives in that island, nak kawinkan anak ~ so, kira my cousin lah. Flight and hotel have been booked. All 6 of us are going, including my maid. Memula tak nak bawa dia, but MrNordin takut I cannot cope with Nizzar. So we decided to bring her along. Bertuah kan, maid I? Mana ada majikan bawak maid dia pegi holiday selalu2? I hope she realises how lucky she is and she'd better be thankful!
Actually, I pun 'cuak' jugak nak tinggalkan dia sorang2 kat rumah sebab dia ni semenjak dua menjak ni asyik masyuk main handphone. I suspect she's got a 'boyfriend' but I can't confirm. I've asked one of the kids to investigate. Boyfriend, boyfriend ni I tak kisah as long as she's consistent with her work. But she's been slacking, much to my annoyance, and I'm afraid kalau tinggalkan sorang2 kat rumah nanti for 3 days, lain pulak cerita dia. So, baik bawak sekali. Senang hati!
Ahh... I so look forward to this trip. I know it won't be relaxing with the kids around, but at least we all could get away from KL for a few days. Kata orang, ambil angin laut. The last time I went to Langkawi was in March last year; went with MrNordin sans kids coz he had a meeting there. We stayed at The Four Seasons that time, compliment of the meeting sponsor. Very nice hotel, but very expensive! While MrNordin was attending the Board meeting, I mingled with the bosses' wives which included Fauziah Latif's ex-MIL (she's actually a very nice lady) and a celebrity chef who gave me a tip on how to make great butter cakes.
I guess this coming trip would just be about meeting relatives, the sun and the sea. Actually, it would be interesting to attend the kenduri kawin in Pulau Langkawi. I wonder if it's any different from the ones we have on the mainland... Will let you know after I come back.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
So, where were we? Oh yes, the boating story. You know what? My friend Siti didn't go after all. It seems the place is 'berhantu', so she opted out. I was quite relieved when I heard that (I think what we said here did affect her decision to pull out at the last minute), and I hope she will make better judgement the next time such invitations come up. Siti, I know you're reading this. I don't mean to be a busybody; it's just that I care about you and Nizam (bukan nama sebenar), that's all...
MrNordin's birthday party? It was not much of a party, really. He came home quite late that day from JB. Me and the girls baked Shepherd's Pie (he loved it!) and Nabila made cheese cake (it was a bit runny at the top but it tasted yummy. For a first time, I think it was alright). The kids gave him a RM100 voucher from The Fish Spa (MA, i got this idea from you, ok?) and I gave him a dark brown belt from A**ner (coz that's what he wanted). Overall, it was quiet but lovely.
Actually, I heard two sad news last week and it kinda affect my mood:
1) A friend's husband is diagnosed with lung cancer and he's now in GH undergoing treatment.
My friend is devastated... 3 children, the eldest is sitting for UPSR this year. I feel so sorry for her... This friend, she's very manja with her husband. She doesn't drive, doesn't have a driving license; they go to work together coz they used to work in the same company (that's where they met). Now that the husband is hospitalized, I don't know how she's gonna get around. She sent her children to her parents house in Kluang yesterday, by bus, so she could take care of her husband. I'm sure she's gonna feel so helpless.... But being a woman that she is, I believe she'll be strong. She will!
Itulah, bila dengar cerita macam ni, I just feel so scared. We'll never know what's in store for us tomorrow. I'm sure never for one second she'd thought her husband would contract such an illness. But you see? Tuhan punya kuasa. I pray they'll get through this in the best way possible. And for those who know her, that's Lin Ali's husband, girls. Please pray for him. He's a very nice man.
2) And in another story, a colleague's teenage daughter has run away from home. She's 15.
This is not the first time, but previously, she came home after a day or two. This time, it's been more than a week. My colleague is worried sick; have tried all channels to locate her, but as of yesterday, she still hasn't returned home. I just hope the girl will be ok. She's a good kid, did well in school. But I think, this has to do with friends' influence and mixing with the wrong crowd.
Teenagers, they always think they have a right to rebel and make their parents' lives miserable without considering the implications. Geram betul I budak2 macam ni! I hope she'll come to her senses and return home soon. I pray that nothing bad will happen to her. And to my friend, I hope she'll be strong... be very, very strong...
Ok, MrNordin has just walked-in the study room. It's a cue for me to stop. Enjoy the rest of the long weekend, and be merry!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
No problem, right? Just a boating party. Siti was quite looking forward to it because this is something new which she has never tried before. But I’m quite worried because:
1) Siti’s husband doesn’t know (she said, no need to tell. He knows Ron anyway)
2) Ron’s wife probably doesn’t know either.
So, I’m not wrong to say that this boating party is their little secret. Of course there’ll be other people, but their spouses don't know about this. I told her to at least inform her husband (SMS ke, apa ke) ~ there’s nothing, right? So she shouldn’t be afraid to tell. But somehow she was a bit hesitant to do that because she’s afraid her husband would say, “No need lah…”
I know Ron. We used to be very close before. I regarded him as my own brother because that’s how he was. Very caring and friendly. But now, it's a different story. We've lost touch and if ever I bumped into him again, it’ll be just “Hi!” and “Bye!”. Very cordial.
But Ron has been in touch with Siti ~ not often, but once in a while, they would call up each other just to say hi. They’d gone out for coffee, just the two of them, but I don’t know if their spouses knew about this. Well, coffee is harmless… with friends some more. I’d gone out with him for lunch, just the two of us, but my husband knew about it. So I guess it’s ok. But I don’t dream of him or flirt with him because I think it’s not right.
So, what do you think? Should she go? I just texted her and asked if she’s still going tomorrow. She said not sure. Then I asked if she had told her husband, she said NO.
What do you think is going on? I'm just itchy to know what you all think about it!
He's in JB right now, attending some lawyers' meeting. I wished him last night, before I went to sleep. Since he'll only be back tonight, I guess there's not much party planning to do. The kids have gotten his present ready. I haven't. The girls are cooking dinner for the father while I'm at work. This year malas betul nak celebrate.
Every year, May would be the month that I always look forward to. This is the month when we celebrate our anniversary, his birthday and Nizzar's birthday. This year marked our 7th year anniversary ~ 3rd May 2001 was the day when he first came into my life, the day I received that first e-mail from him.
I still remember the first time I met him. This was, I think several days before his birthday in 2001. I decided to meet him to overcome any suspicions I had before proceeding with the friendship. You know, I didn’t want the same story to repeat, like what happened earlier.
We decided to meet at California Pizza, KLCC for lunch. He wanted to go somewhere fancy but I figured, better not because if the date was a disaster, tak de lah terkilan sangat, kan? My friend Gina, wanted to tag along to view for herself who this MrNordin was. She was already there when I arrived, waiting anxiously infront of the restaurant, pretending as if she didn't know me (in case MrNordin terperasan I brought along a chaperon).
I asked her sheepishly , “Dah datang ke?" She said, "I don't know. But I saw one guy wearing this orange-coloured shirt lingering around here just now, and I thought it could be him". Orange-colored shirt? Oh my!!! Tak apa, Gina could be mistaken, I thought. I maintained my cool and sat on a bench infront of the reception area, waiting. Gina was still standing outside the restaurant, looking out for MrNordin.
A few minutes later, I saw one big guy coming up the escalator and walking towards the restaurant. He looked fierce, nothing like how I imagined MrNordin would be. Throughout our midnight conversations, I always imagined MrNordin as a sweet and funny guy, not fierce. So when I saw this guy, I frantically prayed, “Oh God... please don't let this be him!!" I cringed as he walked closer to the restaurant. But to my surprise, he didn’t come in but instead stopped by to chat with Gina outside the restaurant. “Eh, apasal pulak ni?” I thought. “Do they know each other?” They continued talking and he did not enter the restaurant. Takkan Gina dah potong jalan, kut? (It turned out, they knew each other)
Tengah2 I fikir yang bukan2 macam tu, suddenly I saw another man coming up the escalator. This one was wearing a brown shirt, medium-built, "almost" botak and looked kinda nervous. I guessed that could be MrNordin, but I pretended as if I didn’t see him (jual mahal konon…). As he approached the restaurant, I tunduk je buat sibuk2 check handphone. I dah nervous dah masa tu! He stood infront of me, and as I looked up, our eyes met.
“Are you Nordin?", I asked.
He said, “Yes. Are you Yati?"
... And those were our first words.
("Are you Nordin"... what a cliche. It should have been "Hi" or "Hello, is it me you're looking for?" Baru best, kan?)
Anyway, we went inside the restaurant and chose a table beside a window. By this time, I had totally forgotten about Gina. My first impression: he looked old for his age. He was 38 at that time (I was 32). Maybe he had gone through a lot, with the wife passing and all. So, the lines showed on his face.
We ordered food, and talked. Man... he could really talk! He was doing most of the talking. I nak celah sikit, dia akan potong. Tak boleh nak interrupt langsung! I can’t remember what we talked about, but mostly about his work, I think, and family (not about his late wife). By the time coffee arrived, it was past 2pm. Hari hujan renyai-renyai pulak kat luar. Memanglah malas betul nak balik office!
While we were talking, suddenly I saw one of my office mates coming into the restaurant. “Eh, strange..” I thought. “What is she doing here?” I tak beritau MrNordin masa tu. The restaurant was almost empty and I didn't think she was there to have lunch. Pizza? For someone who ate rice most of the time, she was definitely out of place. I tengok makcik ni, melenggang lenggok masuk dalam restaurant tu, and terus came to our table. Apa hal pulak si Shema ni? Dengan selambanya, dia berkata, "Aku saja je jalan2 kat sini, tengok engkau ada kat dalam... bla.. bla.. bla..."
Rupa-rupanya, she was spying on me! En Nordin dah tersipu-sipu! And she was not the only one. Later I found out, that the rest of my office mates were also there at KLCC, trying to spot me and MrNordin! Some were hovering on the 4th floor, some on the 3rd floor.... looking for us! I didn't tell them where I was meeting him, so they got curious and came over to look for us. They wanted to see how MrNordin looked like! Can you believe it? So, when I got back to the office after lunch, I asked them, "How?" "OKAY!!!", they said. Hee.. hee…approved lah tu!!!
I noticed three things about him at that first meeting: 1) he's funny and shy at the same time, 2) he's got a very nice smile, and 3) Mat "branded" (his wallet is LV, ok?). We left the place with a promise to keep in touch. I was so hoping that he wouldn't find me too offensive that he would stop communicating with me, but to my surprise, when I reached the office je, I got a call from him thanking me for the wonderful company over lunch. Phew!
A week after that was his birthday (14 May). So, I asked him out, konon nak belanja lah for his birthday (saja je alasan nak jumpa!). On a friend's recommendation, I chose this Greek restaurant behind KL Plaza, Moussandra. As usual, I arrived first and waited for him at the bar. He was late because at home, his mother was making a big fuss about him going out as that was the first time he went out at night after his wife's passing. But he came anyway, and when I saw him walking into the restaurant, I somehow felt delighted. He was wearing this short-sleeved blue shirt and looked dashing (to my eyes lah…). “Sorry, I’m late”, he said.
That night, I discovered that this guy was actually quite suave. I've never eaten in a Greek restaurant before that, but I presumed he had because he just knew what to order. And he's quite neat, too. The way he sprinkled salt onto his palm first before sprinkling it on his food was quite fascinating to watch. I just loved watching that ritual and I thought it was so cool!
So we talked and talked (he was doing most of the talking, again) and he had the courtesy to tell me, "Usually kan, I'm very quiet tau. Tapi dengan you, entah lah, I can go on and on..." Hee.. hee.. I was very flattered! Sembang punya sembang, gelak punya gelak, tak sedar restoran dah nak tutup. The staff was busy pulling down the shutters and closing up, and when I looked at the watch, it was almost 12 m.n. Dengan perasaan berat hati, we took our leave tho' in my heart, I wish the night would still go on.
As we were standing infront of the main door, he suddenly turned to me and asked, "Are you in a hurry to go home?" Eh, dia pun tak nak balik jugak? "No.... why?" "Would you like to go for a walk with me?" he asked.
I was so thrilled!!! No one had ever asked me to go for a walk like that. Rasa nak melompat-lompat kat situ jugak! But I acted cool... sebab tak nak lah appear too eager pulak, kan? "Ok lah, jom." I said.
So we walked around Lot 10 area, passed JWMarriott, Star Hill, that back alley behind KL Plaza, sambil bercerita pasal entah apa2. Cerita pasal durian lah, kucing lah, mee hailam kat Tg. Malim lah... Dua kali lah tawaf Lot 10 tu sampai berpeluh2 our friend! Hee.. hee...
Last-last, kena balik jugak. We said our goodbyes, and as I was driving home, I couldn't help smiling thinking of the dinner and this man, whom I've grown to become quite fond of over the past two weeks. "I like him…", I told myself quietly.
(Just now, I texted him, "What do you what for your birthday?" His answer, "Want to be home with you and family." ) That's my husband, you guys!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Just this morning, as I was waiting for the lift, a friend from the office (different department) tapped on my shoulder and said "Hi". I said Hi back and smiled. I was texting someone at that time, and didn't really want to start a conversation. Then I heard him said, 'Wah... cantik nya pagi ni, so elegant..." Haa... elegant?! That's a first (maybe becoz I was wearing your black pearl kut, Gina..). "Oh thank you," I replied (apa lagi nak jawab, kan?)
When we got into the lift, I asked him, how's things at work. He said, everything ok, still at the same place. I told him "You ok, in hot demand..." (memang pun, he's quite an enterprising staff, ramai bosses nak ambil dia kerja). Then he said something strange, "Ya lah... tapi hati I ni ada satu je, bukannya boleh di bahagi-bahagi. Satu bahagian dah bagi kat u...." :)
Mula2 I tak perasan, tau. Then he said it again, "Satu bahagian dah bagi kat u, cuma you je yang belum buat apa2 lagi tentang tu..."
Was he trying to pull a fast one on me? Terus I tak tau apa nak kata lepas tu! Kelu lidah untuk berbicara! Heh.. heh... Senyum je lah, kan? I got off on the 5th floor when in actual fact, my office is located on the 21st floor while his in on the 22nd. Tak nak lah naik sampai ke atas ~ I was feeling rather uncomfortable already. I said my goodbye to him and ciao from the scene.
Just last week, while I was browsing at Ampang Park, this foreigner came to me (I think he's middle eastern, or something). He asked, "Err, excuse me... do you know how long does it take to go to Langkawi from here?" Strange, I thought, to be asked that kind of question in a shopping complex, and not at a bus or railway station. I thought mamat ni sure was trying out his pick-up line, so I malas nak layan. Then he asked me again, "Do you know how long does it take to get to Langkawi from here?" Well, maybe he genuinely wanted to know, so dengan reluctantnya I asked him back, "By plane or car?" He said, "By bus." "5 hours", I said.
“Ahh… Shukran!” he exclaimed. Then he asked me that dreadful question, “Are you local?” Cis! The moment I heard that question, I knew he was trying to chat me up. I tengok je dia and said, “Yes, why?” He said, “Masya’allah… do you work here?” konon2 macam surprise lah. I looked at him and as politely as I could, told him off, “No and GOODBYE!” Boring betullah they all ni. Tak de kerja lain ke? Maybe he thought I was one of those Minah Indon that he could easily pick-up (I got lots of those dulu, masa zaman2 sebelum MrNordin…). Oh pleeeeze… tak kuasa I!
But the best pick-up line I’ve heard so far is this. One day, several years ago, I was going up the escalator in KLCC to meet someone for lunch. I was wearing my office suit and pants, I think. Ramai orang kat escalator tu, and this one guy was standing behind me. Suddenly, I felt a nudge on my back. My first thought was, “Oh no! Pick pocket!” and quickly held on tightly to my handbag. Rupa2nya, this fella wanted to speak to me.
He said, “Hi! Sorry, but I have to tell you this. You are so beautiful.” Eh, apa ke hal ni Yeop? The escalator was still moving up and I was standing there, stiff. Didn’t know how to respond to that except, “Thanks.” He continued, “I’ve been watching you since just now, and I must say you are very beautiful. Are you seeing anyone at the moment?” Heh… heh… do I look like I was single? “Sorry, but I’m married”, I said. “Oh, what a shame…” he said. “But can I be a friend?” he insisted. I looked at him and replied, “Thanks for the compliment, but I’m not interested. Thank you!” And walked away (smiling…)
MrNordin, I still got it, babe... :)
Monday, May 12, 2008
- Morning ~ Went out for breakfast with MrNordin. Yeay! (we like to sneak out in the morning like that when the kids are still asleep).
- Afternoon ~ Attended MrNordin's cousin's engagement party in Klang. We were the last ones to arrive, so it was more like makan, salam the hosts and left.
- Evening ~ There was a birthday party to attend in Taman Tun. A little boy turning 1 year old celebrated his birthday with his dad, whose birthday fell on the same date. That was quite nice ~ a pool party. I didn't join the pool crowd altho' my little boy was frantically pulling off his shirt so he could go into the pool. It was quite late and I didn't want to get wet. Karang, semua orang tak lalu makan asyik nak tengok I in my swim suit saja! *wink!*
- After the party, went to KLCC. Nabila wanted to get a bottle of perfume. Ended up with MrNordin carrying home 3 shopping bags (of his stuff!). I didn't buy anything. Sat near the fountain with Nizzar while waiting for them shopping.
Morning ~ Woke up late, on purpose.
The kids prepared Mother's Day lunch. They cooked chicken and pasta casserole (entah mana they all dapat recipe tu...) It was supposed to be a surprise. They went to get the stuff with my SIL while we were at the engagement party. It was very thoughtful of them... thank you, darlings!
Afternoon ~ lepak. MrNordin did some work.
Evening ~ went to my MIL's house. My SIL cooked for Mother's Day ~ lasagna & mee goreng. I didn't bring anything. We just bought some ice cream to eat with the cake. Went home about 8pm. Changed and terus tidur dengan budak kecik tu.
Monday ~ went back to Ipoh. Had to sort out some documents with my dad. Reached KL about 7pm tadi. Dinner, and now typing away. MrNordin is doing his work ~ he's going off to JB tomorrow morning. Btw, his birthday is on Wed (still haven't got anything for him). The kids are planning something.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The original idea was to get several pieces of materials yang murah2 to make baju kurung. You know, for office wear or kenduri kat rumah ke... So, first I went to Nagoya with my colleague. Dapatlah dua pasang, kain biasa je. Can't really find the ones that I fancy (walaupun dah 2 jam tawaf dalam kedai tu!). Then I thought, before I headed home, let's just stop at Euro Moda and see what they have coz I wanted to get another piece.
Sampai kat situ, tengok "SALE!!". Wah... ini sudah bagus! Masuk2 je, this one guy greeted me and showed me their latest offerings. Oh my... they were so nice! I fell in love with the first kain I saw (Gianni Versace, leopard prints, gold in colour). Tengok harga, RM55 per metre (down from RM145 per metre). Hmm.. not bad. Let me just look around some more.
Turun naik atas bawah (the upper floors have better bargains), I ended up buying 4 pieces ~ but NOT the one that I liked first. The others are equally gorgeous. They have crepe materials going for RM90 sepasang (I bought 2), chiffon for RM70 sepasang with free lining (can you believe it, RM70!!), and others for RM118 sepasang. They are really worth it, I think. I called a friend to come along as well, as she ended up buying 2 pieces (tho' she had no intention of buying in the first place!).
So now I have altogether 7 pieces of materials to make baju (before yesterday, I had bought another one which was quite costly now I think about it), 2 at the tailor, and just last week, dapat another 5 baju yang baru siap from my tailor! Hee.. hee... what to do with all these kain? My wardrobe is almost bursting to its seam. I think I need to do some spring cleaning this weekend ~ take out the old ones and leave some space for the new "coming soon" bajus. Hooray!
p/s. Btw, also bought a pair of Nine West shoes two days ago.. Now I feel very guilty... :(
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Children these days are such a lucky lot. They get to do things that we didn't get to do at that time of our age, eg. pegi rock concert, holidays in London, Paris, Bali & what have yous, expensive handphones & handbags etc. My first concert was when I was 19 (itu pun masa student kat London) ~ my daughter's first concert was when she was in Std 6! My first holiday abroad was after I got a job (with my own money!) ~ my kids: as early as 7 months old dah pegi London/Jakarta. My first branded handbag was bought with my first duit gaji ~ my eldest stepdaughter got hers when she was still in Primary school!
So, how do you beat that? I don't blame them. It's the way they were brought up. Parents these days have the means to provide all that for their children, unlike my parents dulu. So I didn't get all those priviledges. I never questioned what was given to me by my parents, never had a choice on what to eat during meal times (whatever that was served on the dining table, itu lah yang di makan. No complain. No such thing as, "Can we have Japanese today? Pizza tomorrow? And Korean the day after?" )
And I was so afraid of my parents; my mother especially. My ultimate aim in life was to please my mother. That's all I wanted to do. Tapi sekarang dah lain. Parents dah jadi macam kawan. Some mothers talk openly with their daughters about their boyfriends, love life, problems etc. Their children can freely bring home their BFs or GFs, and lepak2 like nobody's business in the room/living room, and it's ok. Parents tak kisah. Parents said, "better di depan mata I dari dia buat di belakang mata." But for me, that is unacceptable.
At home, I do talk to the girls about love, men, sex and so forth. Things they don't know, they ask me (but they know quite a lot already). However, when it comes to their love interests, somehow I just couldn't bring myself to talk about it openly. Entah lah, I just feel uncomfortable. Maybe because I wasn't brought up that way, or maybe because I don't think they should get themselves lost in love yet. I don't know...
My two girls are home are 17 & 19. They are at their prime, I must say, and of late, I noticed they've been acting rather secretive. Kalau texting on their handphones, macam sorok2, but I tahu coz tangan tu macam tak lepas2 pegang handphone. Or, kadang2, out of the blue, one would suddenly jump up excitedly and screamed all the way to the kitchen after an SMS came in, while the other two girls (my maid included) would circle her and they would also scream in excitement after that. If they were in the study room and tiba2 I masuk, they would quickly close the page they were looking at (or pictures), and jerit2 excitedly, "Cepat!! Cepat!!" (konon tak nak I nampak gambar siapa they all tengah tengok...).
These are signs, you see, and we all know that (eh, kita dah lama makan garam, kan?). I know they are going through this phase, and it's a nice feeling indeed. Kadang2 tu, I teringin juga nak tanya, "So, who's your BF now?" (konon2 nak pretend macam jadi dia punya confidante lah), tapi mulut ni macam berat je nak tanya. I don’t want to be caught in a situation where she’ll be all excited telling me about her boyfriend, and I would be gritting my teeth trying to control myself from saying anything nasty. By right, I should just be a listener, but I cannot bear listening to my daughter talking about her boyfriend (how much she misses him, what nickname he gave her etc) at this age! It's just so awkward!
To me, kawan2 boleh, cintan2 nanti dulu because I want them to focus on their studies first. Karang, dah pandai bercinta, habis semua lupa. MrNordin shares the same view with me, andI'm glad for that. I guess he was brought up that way too. Perhaps, they'll go through the same experience as WanShana, who knows? But WanShana & HH were innocent then. Kids these days are more advanced, hoi! Itu yang takut tu!
Just the other day, my eldest stepdaughter Nabila, was invited by her friends to attend this dining ceremony at their college. These are the Hotel & Catering students, who cooked the dishes and let their friends/family become the food critique. She wanted to go, so we let her go. A male cousin was supposed to pick her up at 7pm and send her home at 10.30pm. That was the deal.
After she left, I sat down thinking, "Wow... how times have changed!" Dulu, masa zaman kita muda2 dulu, mana ada chance nak keluar malam macam tu, and boys pick up pulak tu (well, that's her cousin, but still, he's a boy!). Nak mampus?! Nak keluar siang2 pun susah, ini pulak nak keluar malam. But now, "Baba... my friend invited me... Subang... 8 pm... D is picking me up.... bla.. bla... bla... ". And the Baba said, "Ok". And then when she came home, kita siap tanya dia balik, "So how was the dinner, sayang.... how's the food.... ramai orang tak...did you have a good time.... bla.. bla... bla..." !!
Ada tak anda pernah mengalami pengalaman yang sebegini dengan your parents dulu? For me ~ never. Not even in my widest dream! That’s why, as the article rightly pointed out, “the old school of upbringing, whereby kids are merely seen and not heard, has gone with the afro hairdo.”
MrNordin & me are now at this stage where our daughters have reached that age where they are going into adulthood. Slowly, they are steering us towards loosening our grip on them and seeking more freedom to do things that adults do. Kalau dulu, setakat pegi tengok wayang at KLCC je and then balik, now ada kawan lelaki nak datang pick-up from home & pegi minum2 kat Craven (most of her friends dah ada driving license). So whenever such requests come up, we’ll be torn. Nak bagi ke tak nak bagi? Kalau tak bagi karang, tak cool pulak. Kalau bagi karang, kita pulak yang risau…
Most of the time, we allow her to go, tapi after a lengthy interrogation from the father lah. But our rule is simple, don’t abuse it and pandai2 bahagikan masa. So far, she has been quite consistent. Kata balik pukul 6, dia akan balik pukul 6. Kalau lambat sikit, she’d call. So different from masa dulu (during her Form 4 & 5) when dia buat ikut suka hati dia je. Always extended her outing time with measly excuses, which always riled the father up. I guess she has become more matured and responsible (after her 1-year stint in Gopeng) and I’m glad for that.
Parenting is not easy, huh? Each child ada different perangai. I've gone through all those teenage tantrums syndrome, have gotten worried sick about the children's studies and behaviour, and have cried so many times when my patience was pushed over its limit. But alhamdulillah, I survived it all and the children are still with us. We are still learning about each other day by day, and my only wish is for my family to stick together and live in harmony as I grow older.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Mother's Day has always been a tricky one for me. You know, I'm not really a mother to MrNordin's children ~ I'm just their stepmum. Since they don't have Stepmum's Day (maybe they should now with the high number of women becoming step mothers!), I've always felt that Mother's Day is not a day for me to celebrate.
However, every year, I would secretly hope that the three children would wish me on that day. Nothing fancy, just a simple wish to make me feel that my presence in the family is being acknowledged and appreciated. And they did, every year, alhamdulillah. Although I knew they must have felt uncomfortable as well, I'm glad they took the initiative to do it.
I remember, my first Mother's Day with them, we were in Bangkok that time, on holiday. They were whispering among themselves whether to get a card for me or not that morning. Since they didn't have the money, they were asking their father to get one for me. But my dear husband at that time, buat tak dengar saja... and I didn't know why. But tak kisah lah tu... tak ada kad pun tak apa, at least they had thought about it. (I couldn't wait for the day to end quickly so I wouldn't feel awkward anymore!)
In the second year (2005), I think we celebrated with my MIL. We all had brunch somewhere (I can't remember where now), but I remember there were a lot of people.
The third year (2006) was a good one. I just gave birth to Nizzar that time (baru seminggu kut), masih dalam pantang. Mother's Day fell on the same date as their father's birthday. So, the girls prepared a Mother's Day cum Birthday lunch for the two of us. They cooked some pasta, Greek salad and fish, I think, which was wonderful. Each one of us had a cake and present. I was so happy that day!
Last year (2007), we didn't really celebrate coz we were sending Nabila to Gopeng to do her matrics. But I had a huge fight with my MIL because she was against us sending the girl there. That was also the day I saw my MIL's true color. Horror!!
The story is this. Before bertolak ke Gopeng, we singgah her house just to say goodbye. Sebelum tu, dia memang dah menyuarakan perasaan tidak puas hati terhadap we all sebab nak hantar budak ni belajar at some "ulu" place like Gopeng. She wanted her grandchild to belajar kat KL ni je, at some private college ke, so she's close to home. But we said no, because the girl made the grades and nak masuk Matrics tu bukannya senang. Anyway, she applied for the placing herself and was accepted among the thousands applications. So, biarlah dia pegi kan?
Tak... mati2 tak bagi hantar (and I really didn't understand her reasons!). So, bila sampai2 je kat rumah tu, terus kena fire. Ni, budak ni nak pegi belajar, nenek dia dah mengamuk2 marah. Eh, apasal pulak? Kononnya we all ni mengenepikan dia... tak sayang kan anak, hantar jauh2 belajar. Entah apa2, kan? Siap hujan (menangis) lagi, "Hati mak ni macam kena hiris.. bla, bla, bla.."
So, I opened my big mouth to pacify her, "Dah lah tu Mak... budak ni nak pegi belajar, Mak marah2 macam ni tak elok lah...". Bagai hali lintar, she turned to me, pointed her finger at me and screamed,
"Engkau jangan masuk campur !!!"
Haah.. jangan masuk campur??
Selama ni, siapa yang jaga budak ni pegi sekolah, makan, pakai segala? All this while, I've been taking care of her grand daughter, and now she's telling me jangan masuk campur??!! I was so mad at her! I nak lawan balik, but I thought better not. She was just being irrational. But I cried my heart out lah, because I felt so sad tak pasal2 kena sembur macam tu. Even my own mother pun tak pernah jerit kat I macam tu, tau? Who does she think she is??
But I tahan je, tears kept streaming down my cheeks. MrNordin was defending me and our decision to send Nabila. After a while, she cooled off but I hated her for doing that. On the way to Ipoh, I cried throughout the journey. Several SMS came in from friends wishing me Happy Mother's Day and thanking me for taking care of the children, lagi lah sebak rasa. Orang lain boleh appreciate my effort, my own MIL couldn't see all that! Hee.. geram betul I!
Despite all that, one consolation I got at the end of the day, Nabila started calling me Mummy that day. Huh... such simple word, but it meant so much to me. It made all the heartache and sadness went away... and made it all worthwhile...
So, this Mother's Day, I only want two things:
- 2-hours of uninterrupted time ~ to watch one DVD of my choice,
- Lunch/brunch with MY own family (sans the in laws, aunties, uncles and orang2 lain yang sewaktu dengannya)
A lot of people told me that the first thing to do after I got married was to buy a new bed. It's bad luck to sleep on an old bed, especially if one of the occupants has passed away. Well, we tried, but one child was quite disturbed by it at that time ("Why do they have to change the bed ?!!"), so we discontinued the effort. After that, there was no more talk about buying a new bed. I continued sleeping on the old bed, tho' I felt quite uncomfortable at first. Luckily, I didn't get bad dreams or the late wife come haunting me for sleeping on her side of the bed. So I guess, she doesn't mind.
But now, I feel that the bed has become a little too small for us. What with the little one who loves to snuggle between us at night, it has gotten a bit cramped. Kadang2 kesian pulak tengok kan MrNordin, selalu kena kick by the little boy. Suruh dia tidur dalam cot, dia tak nak. Even tho' I've put him in his cot after he's fallen asleep, he'd still wake up at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning to crawl up next to Mummy. Kesian MrNordin... jarang2 dapat peluang peluk wife dia before tidur! Hee.. hee...
Actually, I've been thinking about doing a serious bedroom makeover. You know, with a baby, your bedroom is no longer the romantic bedroom it used to be. Dulu, the room is strictly for the two of us. Even the children were not allowed to enter when we were not in, because we didn't want them to snoop around (The drawers, especially ~ you'll never know what they're gonna find!)
Now, masuk2 saja, boleh pening jadinya. Dengan baby cot, pampers, baby wipes, documents/papers strewn on the lazy chair, the overcrowded sofabed, my handbags, his bags, toys, DVDs, books... eeee... rimas!!! Many a times I wish I could just change the whole bedroom into a romantic boudoir with a blink of an eye. Satin sheet, velvet curtains, soft pillows, deep purple throw cushions, scented candles.... ahhh.... wouldn't it be lovely.... And no baby! Like that, we could ML every night, unlike now ~ masuk bilik je, terus turn off!
I try to de-clutter the room once a month, but it's hard to maintain it if you're sharing a room with a toddler. Nak make him sleep in his own room, kesian pulak coz he's still small. Nak suruh dia share dengan abang dia pulak, I don't think the big brother will like the idea (you know, anak remaja meningkat dewasa, they want their privacy...) Itu yang pening sekarang ni!
Ideally, the bedroom should be our private love nest. I know a friend, she also has a toddler like Nizzar. She's a mother of two teenagers, and stepmum to 4 other children of her current husband (aged 12-20). They all live under the same roof. During the day, she'll be busy with the household chores and kids while the husband is away at work. But the moment the husband comes home, all her activities stop because her husband wants her all to himself. So, they'll be upstairs in their room, locked, chatting ke, coffee ke or whatever lah... but just the two of them. No interference allowed during their private time.
Huu.. I'd like to do that! Of course she has two maids in the house, so while she entertain her husband, the maids help with the dinner and kids. Kalau I buat cam tu, sure my husband would be a very happy man! But for me, balik kerja je, dah kena take over minding the busy toddler. Letih! Kadang2 nak say hi! to MrNordin when he comes home pun, tak larat. Bila budak kecik tu dah tidur, baru boleh have some private time with husband. But usually, by that time, both of us will be too exhausted that we'd rather hit the pillows. Or, if we're still not sleepy, we'd go out for coffee. But that one pun, jarang2 sekali sekarang ni...
Monday, May 05, 2008
Saturday, May 03, 2008
I attended an ex-colleagues reunion this afternoon at Quality Hotel. These were my ex-officemates when I was attached to the Legal & Secretarial Unit , way back in 2000-02. I like to meet this lot (tho' it only happens once every two years maybe). We share a lot of things when we were working together under Mdm R*, who, to me, was a really mean boss. She's exactly like Merryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. I'm not kidding.
Each one of us has an unforgettable/bitter experience with her, which made us all left the department eventually. The fact that her BIL owned the Company and her husband was the ED, made her think that she can do whatever she wants. She's the type who'd throw memos straight to your face and said things like, "What is this??!! Anak I boleh tulis lagi elok dari ni, tau??!!" (and her daughter was in Std 6 that time)
She'd also call you anytime of the day (day/night) and expect you to slave for her. She made each one of us cried because of her impossible demand and she made our lives miserable during that time. Anyway, I'm not in the mood to "kutuk" orang tonight. If you've watched Devil Wears Prada, she's just like that one. Enough said.
Tomorrow, we're having a birthday party for my little boy who'll turn 2 on Monday. I just hope everything will turn out ok. This is the first time I'm throwing a birthday party for MY OWN child; usually it's for other people's kids (you know what i mean). So, I'm kinda nervous. Will post the story on Monday.