Wednesday, May 28, 2008

About Last Night

I have a few things to write about, but I’m just not in the mood to start. Is it because I didn’t kiss my husband goodbye this morning?

I was in a foul mood last night and was not very happy with him going out to his aunt’s place to discuss the predicament of his cousin’s wife who had just been dumped by his cousin (get it?). I was supposed to go, I wanted to go; but the little boy was still awake at that time. He was crying and very cranky; demanding my attention. I couldn’t leave him with the maid coz the kitchen was still in a mess after late dinner; and the older children were minding their own businesses. I felt I had to stay and mind the baby, and shouldn’t leave just like that.

This was also because prior to that, I was out with some friends visiting a friend’s husband at GH. He's suspected to have lung cancer. I had dinner outside and came home about 9pm, just after MrNordin reached home. I was quite looking forward to go to that aunty’s place last night, but unforeseen circumstances, listed below, forced me to abandon my plan.

1) Our Astro is down; I called Astro 3 times yesterday, but no bloody technician ever called me back to fix an appointment. The Customer Service officer kept on telling me to wait 4 hours, a few minutes, and finally 24 hours! I was bloody mad! In fact I’m still mad right now because I just called Astro again and they told me to wait another 4 hours. What the he**!! It’s been more than 28 hours since I made that first call to complain, but still NO ONE comes around to fix the problem. Such poor after sales service you’ve got there, Astro! You suck big time!!!

2) Baru nak naik atas salin baju, I found out susu Nizzar dah habis. The maid said she had asked Nabila to tell Nadira to text me when I was outside to buy milk & roti, but Nadira said she was not aware of it. I believe, either Nabila didn’t pass the message or Nadira just didn’t listen carefully. It was 10.30pm, kedai dah nak tutup. So I told the maid to just use the other milk powder that we have in spare, but someone said, “But he won’t drink..”.

I was so cheesed off when I heard that remark. If you had known that the boy will not drink any other milk but Isomil Plus and that his milk is almost finished, could you PLEASE make sure that I get the message in advance, so I could purchase the thing when the shops are still open? Ini tak. Bila kita dah sampai rumah baru nak cakap. Macam tak de kerja lain asyik nak ke kedai saja! Budak2 ni pun satu, bila pesan something, sure either they get it wrong or they forget about it completely!

So, I told off the maid ~ "Benda2 macam ni, jangan pesan kat budak2 ni sebab they are either 1) very bad at remembering instructions, or 2) just can’t be bothered. In other words, tak boleh diharap." What’s so difficult about picking up the phone and call me direct? Yang nak pass2 message suruh SMS tu, apa hal? Kalau talipon orang lain, boleh pulak cakap berjam2. Ini nak talipon saya, suruh beli susu pun susah sangat?

I was so mad! Dah lah penat, dengan si Nizzar crying and tugging at my dress nak minta dukung, plus the living room yang tunggang langgang with his toys and cars. But what choice did I have, right? Not much. MrNordin was upstairs taking a shower. So I had to drive out again to buy the milk. It was almost 11pm. I keluar je in my housecoat because tak sempat nak salin, takut kedai tutup. Nasib baik sempat. Itu pun dapat brand lain, lantak lah.

Sampai rumah, the maid tengah mandikan the boy who was crying out loud sebab dia tak nak keluar from the bath sink. MrNordin was screaming for me from upstairs, asking me to get ready. I was trying hard to control my temper and memang dah lost all mood to go out again. I naik je ke atas, MrNordin dah bersiap2. “Eh, kata nak pegi rumah mak ngah. Cepat lah siap!” he said. It was 11.15pm. “I’m not going.” I told him. “But why? Tadi you yang beriya nak pegi.” he asked.

Ya, tadi memanglah I nak pegi, tapi dengan anak you yang tak tidur lagi ni and meragam macam ni… macamana I nak pegi? And I feel very rimas! I just want to put my baby to sleep first. Can you wait? No, of course you cannot because there were people waiting for you...

Then dia cakap apa, tau? “Tadi you jugak yang balik lambat, pegi hospital…” Eh eh.. baru sekali tu lah balik lambat sikit, dah nak complain? Itu pun balik pukul 9 malam, bukannya 2 pagi cik abang oii! And I went to the hospital tengok orang sakit, but bersuka ria sembang minum kopi!

That really riles me up! I had a feeling he was not very happy with me going to the hospital. That's really unfair!

The way I saw it, you berkejar2 nak tolong selesaikan masalah orang. Yang kat rumah ni, macam tak kisah. Why can’t you just stay with me last night, help me mind the child? Ini, balik kerja, letak beg, makan, mandi, then keluar balik. Senangnya hidup! Tak kisah langsung isteri ni keluar masuk mengisahkan hal anak2...

Sigh... I wish you would turn back last night when I heard you pulled out of the driveway. I wish you come back and tell me, “Ok lah, since you’re not going, I pun tak nak pegilah.” But that was just my wishful thinking, right? Of course you did not turn back...

So this morning, I did not speak to him. He told me something about getting a job for the cousin's wife, I malas nak dengar. Then he went to the bathroom and shut the door. I went down without kissing him goodbye.

I know I shouldn't be doing this but I wish he would pay more attention to US than to other people. Masa kat Langkawi pun, tak habis2 talking on the phone and checking on his Blackberry. He always looked very disturbed ~ I guess worried about the crisis in KL. Sampai2 je kat rumah malam tu, terus cakap on the phone dengan siapa ntah, pasal cerita ni lagi. Sampai I dah naik menyampah. (Haa.... that's the word! Menyampah!)

MrNordin, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. But I have to do this to let off steam. Otherwise I won't be able to speak to you again. That's how bad I'm feeling right now... :(

22 comments:

Madam Tai Tai said...

It's been awhile since you wrote such posting - rantings of MrN's 'misbehaviour'!

Seronok pun iya membacanya, kesian semesti iya, geli hati pun lagi la iya..

Encik Nordin kita kena memujuk la lepas ni. MrN, nasib baik MrsN melepaskan kat blog, kalau melepaskan to you directly, perit juga kan? So jangan lupa tulis comment ya!

Anonymous said...

BJ,

I do this as well, not in a blog cos I do not have one but in an email to him whenever I am cheesed of at my DH.

Its easier to write it out than to say it sebab most likely u will be cut off or u'd be too emotional to "talk".

Nasib baik ada blog and emails kan??

Hugs to u dear.
Aida

Madam Tai Tai said...

Btw, I guess the holiday is truly over la ya? :)

Langkawi tinggal dlm kenangan le sebab dah marah benar ni. Someone wrote in the last posting that you and Nordin looked really blissful. Err..I think s/he is going to change her/his mind lepas baca posting ni, huh? :)

busymum100 said...

Most of us, if not all, have gone through something similar at least once, yours truly too.

I learned that sometimes bila kita tarik muka masam, and bagi "silent treatment", eventually the other party will come to some senses. Lagipun, that's better than bertikam lidah. Kita diam je lah... evetually (normally not more than 48 hours - ini pun too long already) kita pun dah cool down sikit, dan dia pun ada masa pikir balik apa yg dia kata dan buat, then kita sama2 compromise ;-)
Kalau masa tu jugak kita cakap pun, bukan dia nk dengar. Lagipun masa tu mood kita pun bukan elok pun... nanti bunyi too garang.

bottom line - you ARE NOT alone in facing all these. It's asam garam rumah tangga ;-)

Anonymous said...

I guess this was coming after last night. There were tell tale signs left by MrsN (like right after dinner after making me a cupa of coffee, she went upstairs with a couple of chocs from Langkawi, was asleep with the little pengganas when I came into the room plus the pc was left on in the study) for me to suspect that there is something in this blog for me to read.

Let me start by saying this, I had a long day in the office yesterday and today was Board meeting day and my first meeting started at 9am and finished by 7pm. No lunch and very little breakfast. But I was ever grateful when MrsN cooked a delicious shepperd pie for us, that made up for all the lack of food today plus the long hours of the meeting I had to endure today. Nothing like a hot delicious home cooked meal by my MrsN to make me forget all the hassle and bustle of the day. I fixed the Astro in the bedroom (which brough cheer to the little pengganas) and have arranged for the electrician to drop by tmrw to fix the other one in the living room. So 1 out of 2 Astro working was not that bad.

About last night, I came back nearly 9pm (again no lunch for me yesterday either, plus a bad working day in the office, not to mention the numerous calls from the brothers, cousins, mother, father & aunty about my cousin abusing his soon to be ex-wife right in front of his mother and forcing the wife to sign some court papers) but had a good dinner. Was I tired ? Should I go out to my mak ngah's house where my parents and my cousin's soon to be ex-wife and kids were waiting ? Weighing in my mind too, I have a meeting today that starts at 9am and a Board meeting that starts at 2.30pm (both out of office) which will likely finish till late. I have not read any of the papers to be presented. To be honest, I was dead tired and would not give 2 hoots about going out let alone trying to solve people problems. Now 1st thing MrsN said during dinner, "kita pergi rumah mak ngah nanti ya", so that put paid to any notion of an early night. I can understand MrsN feelings towards my cousin wife, especially seeing her hugging and crying her eyes out when they met before we left for Langkawi. I guess only a wife would understand the feelings of another wife after her husband lafaz cerai to her. A heart wrenching sight seeing both of them like that. I vowed never to put my dear MrsN in that situation.

SO MrsN gave me a cold look when I asked her about getting ready, little did I know about the going ons of the finishing baby milk until later. YES, I was disappointed about her changing her mind and NO I wasn't angry about her coming back late bcos of the hospital visit. I made the remark bcos she mentioned it was already late and she didn't feel like going anymore. Now on one hand, I have already told the crowd waiting at mak ngah house that we are coming over and on the other hand, my wife has now suddenly changed her mind about not going and expect me to do the same - di telan mati ibu, di buang mati bapak - that was my predicament.

So I bite the bullet and went, kept telling myself I am doing the right thing and hopefully MrsN would understand bcos she did mention to me earlier that "she felt for her" when they hugged and cried.

Arrived at mak ngah's house - tired, disappointed, thinking of tmrw's meetings, leaving behind an angry wife, Astro not workings - so I put up a brave front and sympathetic face to the crowd. Briefed about the day's happenings and handed the court papers for me to interpret and explain to them. Gave my best advice on legal representation and what to or not to say/do at the syariah court hearing scheduled in 2 weeks time. The wife has no money (all savings gone to my cousin) and jobless (again due to my cousin) and now in danger of losing custody of all 3 children (eldest 12, youngest 2 yr old) on grounds of being an irresponsible mother. Both parents have passed on and her siblings have blamed her for not leaving my cousin earlier bcos of his abusive behaviour. So I promised to get her a job soon (alhamdulillah got her an interview with my company tmrw as a temporary staff) to help her out. All in all, arvd home past 2 am and finally was able to doze off by 3 am.

Whilst driving back from work today, it crossed my mind that whatever I am trying to do for my cousin's wife may be thankless at the end of the day. But in my heart, I gave my best and I gave it sincerely for whatever help/advice I can offer. Hopefully MrsN will forgive me for leaving her behind and not caring about the going ons in the house that night. I also pray that what happened to my cousin's wife will not happen to my kids when I am gone.

Mr N.

Anonymous said...

MR & MRS N,

Hope u guys have made up.

Its just a matter of communicating.

As busymum says, "assam garam" married life.

Aida.

Madam Tai Tai said...

Nordin, well-written and well-explained. I hope she gets it and all will be well soon.

MrsNordin said...

Madam,

Dia dah explain kan? That's quite unexpected, but I'm very touched and smiling here like a cheshire cat!

Anonymous said...

Mrs N, it's normal to have these kinds of misunderstanding. Mr N, you're really cool I think, sharing your emotions..it's all just Women from Venus and Men from Mars kind of things. I think that you 2 are a lovely couple and have a happy family.

Busybody

MrsNordin said...

Aida,

I write better than I speak. I can get the message across better that way.

Now that he has explained his side of the story, I guess we have in a way, made up, altho' his actions this morning did not show as such (dia biasa je..). So, his comment actually came as a surprise to me this morning. But nice... :)

Thanks!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Busymum,

Thanks for your sound advise. I tak suka nak gaduh2 because I find it very disturbing. So kalau ada benda yang I tak berapa berkenan, I will most often than not, keep quiet. Bila dah ada blog ni, mencurah perasaan kat sini je lah... hee.. hee... Nasib baik my husband is understanding. Tak marah I tulis benda2 merapu cam ni. Kalau tak, susah juga, kan?

Thanks & have a nice day!

MrsNordin said...

Dear MrNordin,

What a nice surprise! I didn't expect you to leave a comment or read my blog last night!

I left the PC on becoz I thot of continuing using it after the little pengganas has gone to sleep; unfortunately I pun tertidur terus. I went to check on it this morning, takut2 it was still on. But it was already switched off, and I figured you must be at it last night. But I didn't think you'd read my blog. So, this came as a surprise... a nice surprise!

Your writing has never failed to make me smile. You have a way to diffuse my anger or any resentment I have towards you. I'm glad you described what happened at mak ngah's house the other night (I wanted to know but was to proud to ask!).

But at the dinner table last night, you would've noticed that I was more willing to 'talk' & 'listen' to you compared to yesterday morning. I guess, writing it out provided some sort of comfort to my system. And that's why the shepherd's pie!

What more can I say besides I love you so? Thanks for being such a sport. I know you'd understand why I did the things I did.. Malam ni kita keluar, nak?

See ya later, alligator!

Helena said...

You guys are just cute.... *wink*

Mrs N, I had the misfortune of going tru what u went through lebih kurang several times .... But my significant other never did write a sweet note like that ...

Hey.... go and hug each other already?

hehe take care.

Madam Tai Tai said...

Ha..kalau dah berbaik2 dah, now emailkan I lak shepherd's pie punya recipe tu. It sounds like a delicious peace offering tu me.

MrN, should this happen again in the future and should you get a shepherd's pie the next day, you'd know her anger has thawed somewhat. So buat la apa yg patut lepas tu, ok.. ;-)

MrsNordin said...

Helena,

Maybe you should write him a note as well and tell him "I expect a sweet note from you in return!"

Hee.. hee.. I pun tak sangka he'll write as such.

Thanks for dropping by & take care!

MrsNordin said...

Madam,

Nanti I e-mail you the recipe. "Peace Offering"... hmmm... I like the way you said it!

wanshana said...

It's good that this blog of yours allows us to know both sides of the story. So, now we know what actually happened, hope you guys have settled whatever it is that needed to be settled...

NOW GO KISS AND MAKE UP!!!

(Ke dah sudah?!! ;))

It's good that MrN doesn't mind sharing his thoughts with us - rare species!

Emma said...

my hubby kalo baca my blog x reti nak komen pun. komen bestla sket camni..bley la i senyum cam koala ke apeke..

Kmar said...

Mr & Mrs Nordin..

Ini yang dikatakan.. ´Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih´.. he.he..

Hidup sebumbung, mesti la sekali-sekala berselisihan faham. We are all human and no one can run away from making mistakes, betul tak?

MrsNordin said...

Shana,

Your husband pun share his thoughts in your blog, what? :)

MrsNordin said...

Emma,

Writing ni is quite subjective. Some people have it, some people just don't. I guess your husband falls into the 2nd category. Tak pe lah... I'm sure he has other ways to express his feelings towards you, kan?

Take care!

MrsNordin said...

Kmar,

Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit... ya tak? It's just how we manage it that's important.

I wonder, kalau you all gaduh in Spanish macamana ya? :)