Thursday, May 29, 2008

We Made Peace

I'm sure you all want to know what happened after I read his comment, right?

I sent him an SMS saying that I love him and sorry for feeling how i felt. He said sorry, too, for being insensitive towards my feelings. That's that.

Then later after work, we met at Chinoz for dinner ~ a date, he said.

We didn't talk about "that" initially, but meddle about his cousin's soon to be ex-wife's story. She went for an interview at MrNordin's office today for a temporary post. The feedback was positive; now pending a reference check with her previous employer. With a job coming, that should keep her going. I really hope she gets it.

While waiting for our coffee to arrive, I asked him, "Pegi rumah mak ngah nak malam ni?" He looked at me and gave me that cynical smile. "The last time you said that, it turned out to be disastrous..." he said. I smiled back at him and gave him a squeeze on his arm. "I love you, baby.." I said.

I'm glad I got the message across and he was totally understanding about it. I didn't expect him to read what I've written, let alone leave a comment, but I appreciated what he did and it made me happy.

At first, after I wrote that piece, I wanted to delete the posting because I felt I was being a little too insensitive by venting my anger at him in my blog which is read by many. Orang kata, tak elok "membuka pekung di dada" and I felt bad about it. That's why I left the PC on last night, hoping to get back to it once the little boy has gone to sleep. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be and he had to read it.

So, I asked him just now if, in anyway, he felt that I shouldn't post this kind of thing anymore. He said, "No, just write what you feel like writing. But use your own discretion..." Can't tell you how relieved I was when I heard that.

My husband has a beautiful writing style, one of the first things that I noticed about him. You may have noticed it, too, through the several comments that he has left behind. His posts are carefully worded and well thought-out, something which I cannot do. I will just write whatever comes to my mind, which usually turns out frantic, but he will write with such grace. He said he writes what comes to his mind as well, but I guess his thoughts are more composed than mine.

We didn't go to mak ngah's house tonight. He was tired, he said, and is now fast asleep with the little boy besides him. I'm too excited to sleep, hence this posting.

Thanks, my friends, for being supportive. MrNordin was quite relieved as well to know that y'all didn't think bad of him for leaving me behind the other night. Hey, we are more sensible than that, aren't we?

Good nite, sleep tight...

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

BJ,

Lucky to to have gotten urself a guy who knows how to express himself well.

I married a technical guy, so that needs a little work. We know our weaknesses and work to making it better.

And yeah, we are a nice lot. Not some old meanie.

Hugs,
Aida.

busymum100 said...

MrsN,
All's well that ends well?

See what a blog can do? An outlet for you to lepas perasaan with min damage, and also for your DH to show his love to you ;-)

Now that I am very into the Dale Carnegie training, I'd like to highlight principle no.10 from dale carnegie:
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

MrsNordin said...

Hi Aida,

I suppose I'm lucky in that sense. Tapi kalau dia express dia punya anger, pening juga. Very deep.....

When we were courting, we used to send each other e-mails like this. There was one time, we all gaduh (due to my fault) and he wrote this long e-mail (3 pages long!)explaining how he felt about what I did. It was so loaded with emotions, sampai naik pening kepala lah lepas habis baca! And I felt so guilty after that... :(

Hee.. hee... let's just make the best of what we have, right?

MrsNordin said...

Busymum,

Avoid an argument? That's very true. I do that all the time by keeping quiet. Or simply ignore the subject matter. Tapi kalau dah tak tahan sangat, I sulk (I still do!). Now ada blog, lepas geram kat sini.

Sometimes, we need to argue with the other person to let him/her know our feelings about certain things. Jangan berlarutan, sudah. It's healthy in a sense we keep the marriage in check, betul tak?

Have a lovely weekend!

Kmar said...

BJ,

I ni kalau bergaduh... guna ´silent mode´.. ha.ha.ha.ha... My hubby kalau dapat sense, dia mesti tutup mulut and let me cool down myself. Dia dah ´masak´ with this technique.

Usually at the end of the days, we had a good laugh he.he..

Anonymous said...

BJ,

Three pages long??? wow ... well of course he is a lawyer. I miss my courting days when my darling hubby would write to me long email (tak lah sampai 3 pages) and hours on the phone. Sekarang, I'd be lucky if he'd answer my emails at all. Unless its an angry email, tue dia balas, kalau tidak its mostly one liner ehehhehehe

But at most what I love about MY darling husband, he lets me vent and vent and vent until I am out of air, and then he'll give me the "let's be sensible" talk. HE'S MY ROCK.

U have a good weekend dear.

Aida - who is excited as DH will be on a one week leave (Hari Gawai)

Madam Tai Tai said...

Great that you guys have made peace!!

Delicate Flower said...

mrsN,

Sounds like you guys have a wonderful marriage. Bottom line is, you guys truly love each other. You are an exceptional person - loving to your step-children and considerate to your maid, quite an unusual trait, I must say. MrN sounds like a wonderful generous family man - to his own immediate family and to his extended ones. Makes me want to say "awww......"

Hope said...

MrsN

Sometimes we need to buka that pekung too so as not o let it develop into murderous cancer eating you all up from the inside. So don't worry la. You are lucky he is understanding and can accept what you write too...

Helena said...

OK la tu..... (just cant help smiling when u asked him whether he wants to go to mak ngah's house the 2nd time round...hehe)

MrsNordin said...

Aida,

I miss talking for hours on the phone too. Nowadays, kadang2 tak call langsung! Tapi actuallynya, I pun malas nak bergayut lama2 on the phone these days. Just talk what's most important.

Wah.. husband cuti one week! I'm sure you'll be on leave too! Enjoy it, darling.. Have fun!! :)

MrsNordin said...

Kmar,

That silent mode tactic works well for me too. Tapi kalau lama sangat, he'd start pestering me to open up. So I tak boleh nak sulk lama2!

MrsNordin said...

DF,

If your observations were correct, we are truly one couple match-made in heaven. But we are far from perfect, we still have our flaws. It's just how we manage the flaws that's important.

Hey, you have been married for 16 years, you should know this better than some of us here and should give us more tips!

MrsNordin said...

Hope,

Usually, I buka pekung didada ni with my very close friends saja. But this blog is very public. Itu sebab rasa uneasy sikit...

But I guess we need to do it, which ever way there is, to make us stay sane. Otherwise, makan hati, babe! Cannot tahan!

MrsNordin said...

Helena,

I knew what his answer was going to be when I posed him that question again... :)

jabishah said...

Hi MrsNordin,

I read both entries plus comments at 1 go. Lucky me for reading it late so dah siap with aftermath gitu.

It was cute, sweet & beautiful. Cute of you ranting, sweet of MrN reasoning & apologising, beautiful of you both making up.

Been there, done that! (but hv never blogged abt it... hmmm!)

Be good you two ;-)