As Good As It Gets

Last night, we were all gathered in the study room. It was after midnight but we were still wide awake and didn’t want to go to sleep yet.

Nizzar was looking through old photo albums for pictures of his brother and sisters when they were about his age while Nadim was guiding him with the “who is who”.

As he flipped through the pages, suddenly he stopped at this one particular photo and asked his brother, “Nadim, ini siapa Dim?”

Nadim took a second look at the picture and softly replied, “This is my arwah Mama..”

I choked up when I heard his reply.

“This is Nadim’s Mummy, Nizzar…”, I added, and the little boy turned over the page.

I didn’t know if the little boy understood what we said or not, but I found it quite surreal because what was going through his mind must be, “Hey, I know everyone’s faces here… but I’ve not seen this one before. Who could she be?”

That must have prompted him to ask Nadim who she was.

Right after that, I felt a tinge of sadness. I went into the bathroom and sat on the throne quietly, pondering over the incident.

I felt sorry for Nadim coz he had lost his mother when he was still very young. He didn’t get enough love and affection that he should be getting from a real mother because she passed away much too soon. He was only 7 at that time… and it has been 8 years now since he lost his mother.

Throughout the years, he struggled to grow up into a fine young man without the love from a mother. Fortunately, he had his father who tried in every way that he could to be both mother and father to his children. Yes, I was there too in the middle of it, but it's just not the same.

So when his father tends to give in a little bit more to him than to the girls, I can understand why...

When we were looking at those pictures, I could feel that this boy must be wishing that his mother was still alive. That he could still be showered with her hugs and kisses, just like what I love to do with Nizzar. I wondered if he missed his mother…

You know, being a stepmother to 3 kids and a real mother to 1, I do feel the difference when it comes to displaying my affection towards them. With Nizzar, I could easily smother him with kisses and roll over in bed many, many times before we go to sleep because I feel there is no holds barred. He is my son, I can spoil him if I want to and I can spank him if he misbehaved.

But with the older kids, I feel quite awkward to show my affection and I think, they feel the same way too. Something is holding me back. Maybe because when I came into the family, they were already grown ups. I didn’t know how to “manja” kan them although many times I wished I could just hug them and smother them with kisses like how I do to Nizzar.

But this doesn’t mean I love them less. I love them all the same and I treat them like I would my own children. I worry over them like any parent would. When they go away, I miss them… when they come home, I am elated.

My favourite moment is when I find them all sitting at the dining table, chatting about everything under the sun. I love to hear their laughters. That's when I'm the happiest person on earth.

I suppose, mothers show their love and affection towards their children in many ways. I try as much as possible to be fair, and I hope my children realize that too.

My only wish is that I could be a better mother to them. I don't know how much better, but I think it could have been better.

But for now, I guess, this is as good as it gets...

Nizzar's 1st Halloween Party

Last Saturday, my little boy was invited to a Halloween Party at Beverly Heights. This is where his Aunty Gina lives.

I’ve never been to a proper Halloween Party before. The closest experience I had on Halloween was when our next door neighbor threw a big Halloween Party for their 15-year old last year, complete with a DJ and disco for all the kids who came dressed up to the theme. We were all admiring from far (we were not invited, of course) but I did give the kids candies when they came around “trick or treating”.

So for this one, I really didn’t know what to expect. I knew it was actually meant for the little ones, so I thought a nice Halloween costume for Nizzar would be proper. So we went to get his outfit, a Power Ranger suit, and a pumpkin. The little boy was very happy, he didn’t want to take it off once I put it on him!

Red Ranger

Anyway, on the day itself, we arrived at Gina’s house just after 5pm. Outside, I could see children and adults walking down the street towards the club house in their Halloween costumes. Cool! Gina got us a hat each. We wore those hats and joined the crowd going to the clubhouse.

The scene at the clubhouse was amazing! People really made the effort to dress up for the occasion and I was very impressed by some of the costumes they wore. There were games, but we did not participate, preferring to sit down and enjoy the food while snapping away photographs of the children.

What I like best about the evening was the trick or treating. We went to almost 20 houses (or more) in the neighborhood for trick or treating and I tell you, Nizzar was very thrilled with all the sweets and candies that he collected. At one point, he even whispered to me, "Nizzar tak suka rumah Nizzar. Nizzar suka rumah Aunty Gina!"

Oh yeah! Now my boy is thinking that going to Aunty Gina's house means candies all night long!

Some owners really went all out to decorate their houses with Halloween paraphernalia. Some even converted their front porch into a haunted house. Spooky! I was having so much fun until I lost my voice!

It was such a joy seeing all the children running around from house to house that night, shouting “Trick or Treat…!!!” and receiving sweet treats in return. People there were really friendly. Though we didn't know anyone besides Alya and Haris (Gina's kids), the neighbourhood made us feel welcomed and that's what made it more special.

I told Gina after that to just buy a house there. No need to look elsewhere...

As dusk sets in, we made our way through the dark alley looking for treats. It was quite windy and drizzling slightly, so it left quite an eery feeling. Just perfect for the occasion and I loved it!

The trick or treating ended at 8.15pm. By that time, my little boy was already too tired and demanded that I carry him home. Hee.. hee... never mind... Mummy had fun too, Nizzar, and I don't mind carrying you though you are now much too heavy for my size. I piggy-backed him in the end.

After dinner at Gina's house, we left for home. I wanted to stay and watch "Drag Me To Hell" which Gina had purchased for the occasion. Unfortunately, my husband told me some people were coming to the house and so I had to go home. Well, we've had enough fun for the night, thus going home didn't seem like a bad option after all.

Thank you Gina for inviting us and I sure look forward to next year's Halloween at your place again!!

Enjoy the photos!

Me and my brood

Haris and his scary mask. I thought it was so cool..

Walking towards the Clubhouse. Notice the little Red Ranger on the right.

I love the hat! Thanks Gina!

The party has just started when we arrived

The lady giving instructions to the children

Mdm Tai Tai and a friend. Nabila eating chicken wing which was yummy!

Luke Skywalker

A lady and her fork

Red Indian lady

I like this boy's cool head gear





This one takes the cake. He told me it was his mum's idea.





The scary pumpkin






Halloween cupcakes





Red Ranger enjoying his food






These two girls look so adorable in their outfits

Arrgghhh!! I'm gonna eat you!!

Witches and vampires

Boo!!

Freddy Kruger

Nabila and the scary orange balloon

Mdm Tai Tai and her candies to give away

Trick or treat!! Kids who came around to Gina's house

Walking in the neighbourhood looking for treats..

We bumped into Harris and his friends..

Harris & friends

This guy waited for us at one of the houses we went to

The alleyway

Nizzar and his botol air

Happy!!

More houses to go..

This boy's parents were very smart in thinking of this.

Another interesting house we visited

Nizzar's treasures

Sweets and candies to last weeks..

A Wedding Story

My BIL has finally ended his bachelorhood days when he uttered the lafaz akad nikah to his beloved wife two weeks ago. This was followed by a wedding reception on the bride's side the very next day, and last Friday was the reception on our side. Tiring, but fun.

And that explains my long silence.

The newly weds after akad nikah

My husband was the chief coordinator for his youngest brother's wedding. I played a supporting role. Organizing a wedding of this size is no joke but with the help of many relatives and friends, I think we did pretty well.

Personally, I think weddings are over-rated. The planning took months, the money spent was exorbitant, and for what? Just for show. I've been to so many weddings before this, from the one where the Agong was the guest of honour to the one which had the whole ballroom transformed into a secret garden from the Middle East. Very extravagant indeed...

But at the end of the day, as the guests took their leave, it would be just another wedding. Perhaps, it's the bride and groom who would cherish all the pomp of their wedding day. But do they? Or is it the parents?

Long before I got married, I'd never dream of a big wedding. All I wanted was a simple nikah and right after that, I'd getaway with my new husband to our honeymoon destination. That's it. But I must be joking, right? My mother would disown me if I did that! So, I agreed to a small reception at home in Ipoh, but even then, no merenjis what-so-ever. Although it was just a small wedding, we are still happily married to this very day. So who's to complain?

Bottomline is, no matter how big or small your wedding is, you must do it according to your own means. Ukur baju dibadan sendiri, kata orang. Kalau disebabkan nak buat majlis yang besar2an kita kena berhutang sana sini, baiklah tak payah. Orang datang, dah makan pulang. Kadang2 tak sempat pun jumpa pengantin. Yang kita ni, lepas tu nak menanggung membayar hutang. Buat apa? Baiklah duit tu digunakan untuk keperluan selepas kawin.

That's my take on it lah...

But, if you had the financial means, by all means, buat lah se-grand mana yang dikehendaki. Panggil lah Permaisuri Agong sekali pun, who cares (but still, I don't believe in inviting a royalty to your wedding because it should be kept as a family event. Unless you pun memang kerabat di raja, lain lah cerita). Tapi kalau tak ada, buatlah secara sederhana sahaja. Jangan nanti, rumah dah siap, pahat pun berbunyi. Enough said.

Anyway, back to my BIL's wedding.

My dear friends, SW and her husband, had agreed to become the MC for the evening. I think, that made the event somewhat special for me. They did a very good job, very cool and composed, despite the lack of practice. Both looked resplendant in blue and I believe after this, they would receive many offers to become the MC for important events.

Usually, all weddings on MrNordin's side of the family would be MC-eed by this lady who has always held that position for as long as I can remember. But for Yem's wedding, we were determined to make a difference and that's when Shila and Jab came into the picture. I've never seen them doing an MC job before, but I had a feeling they could do the job. So when I SMS Shila while she was still on holiday in Japan and she said Yes!, I was elated.

And true to my expectation, they did a very good job indeed. Even Yem complimented them by saying, "They are cool, huh?" So there you are, Shila! Next time boleh charge! Thanks again to you and Jab. It was lovely!

Bab2 yang lain tu, biasalah...

My MIL is happy that her youngest son has finally settled down. My new SIL is now staying at my MIL's house. Hee... hee... I wish her all the best! As I hugged her and said, "Welcome to the family!", deep inside I wished she would be strong and not easily affected by what's coming.

Perhaps she won't have it so bad, but even if she did, I'm determined to help her in anyway that I could coz that's what a SIL is for, right?

Enjoy the pictures!

MrNordin the Chief Coordinator

Shila and Jab

With Shila and Gina

The MCs at work

The Pelamin

With FIL, in dark blue

Pengantin Tua No. 1

Pengantin Tua No. 2 (hee.. hee...)

Red Raya

I just got home from a 13-hour journey KL-Sg Petani-KL to send Nadira back to college. It was tiring.

Sg Petani-Ipoh took us 4 hours when usually, 2 hours would do. Sorry Lyana, I didn't get to call you or singgah rumah coz we were in a hurry to get home.

And I'm nursing a runny nose. Bad combo...

Anyway, raya was good. We wore red this time. I made KG's carrot cake for raya morning and my MIL was pretty impressed.

Just sharing some photos. Will write more when I'm in a better frame of mind. In the the mean time, enjoy your open houses and be merry.

Selamat Hari Raya from MrsNordin and family!

Boleh masuk URTV tak?

Mont Blanc vs Kilometrico

It was 1 am and I was just coming out of the bathroom when I saw my husband sitting on the floor, rummaging through piles of papers and stuff from the drawer of our dressing table.

"You buat apa tu yang?"

"I’m looking for my pen."

He has been searching for it since last week but he can’t seem to find it.

"Alah… give up je lah the search. You’ve already bought two new pens recently, kan?"

Every fasting month, my husband would have a penchant for collecting something new. Last year it was kain pelikat. Kemana pergi cari kain pelikat. This year, it’s pens.

He would go out with his office colleagues during lunch break (if he was not sleeping) and visit some old stores like P.Lal or G.S Gill to browse for unusual stuff. That day, he brought home this pen which he just bought from P.Lal for RM300.

The next day, another pen from I-don’t-know-what store for RMx00 “It’s transparent, yang!”, he said excitedly.

Over the weekend, he bought another pen. This time, it was a fountain pen with a proper ink in a bottle. Then as we sat down for coffee, he started reminiscing about his younger years when he first learnt to use a fountain pen.

Remember that time? I remember I was in Std 4 when my teacher taught me cursive handwriting using a fountain pen. It was hard at first, must write very slowly because all the alphabets must be connected to one another. But once I got the hang of it, I loved it.

It’s really nice, actually. I especially like the part when I had to refill the ink. Dip, squeeze, let go – voila! But one must be careful not to dabble in it too much coz otherwise, you’ll get blue marks all over your fingers!

Unfortunately these days, I notice schools do not teach cursive handwriting anymore. Nadim told me there is no such thing in his school, he never learn cursive handwriting. No wonder his handwriting is still sebijik2 even though he’s now in Form 3!

I think, my husband managed to find one of his lost pens last night coz he seemed happy this morning. Already last night I overheard him talking to his buddy at work, “So esok lunch time, apa project kita? Nak cari pen lagi ke?”

At first, I couldn’t understand his fascination with pens. To me, a pen is just a pen. I wouldn’t pay more than RM5 for a pen, which I use for taking down notes, mostly. But as for my husband, his signature is very important, hence he must have a very good pen to sign with.

It’s a status symbol too, I guess. Having a good quality pen tucked inside the pocket of his shirt exudes superiority and class. Just like what handbags do.

Compare a Prada and non-branded handbag. See the difference? You feel like you’re walking on air if you’re carrying an original Prada on your shoulder than if you’re carrying one with no brand name.

For a non-fussy person like me, any pen will do. As long as I can sign my name, the pen has served its purpose. But for my husband, he may have his reasons when choosing his precious pens.

Last time, I used to roll my eyes whenever my husband brought home an expensive pen. But now, I'm thinking, if that's what he likes, let it be.

What can I say.... he's a Mont Blanc man while I’m just a Kilometrico girl.

Biskut Arab

My experiment with kuih raya is getting better by the day. I’m surprised they are actually not that difficult to make. Just a little patience, that’s all it takes.

So far, I’ve made 4 types of biscuits: Cornflakes, Samperit, Rock Bun and Biskut Arab/Suji. The last one was my latest invention. Why? Because MrNordin told me he likes Biskut Arab, the kind that melt in the mouth.

I was at KLCC last Friday with Madam Tai Tai and we saw this stall selling very pretty multi-colored Biskut Arab. Harga dia: RM35 for 50 pieces. Mak datuk! Mahal nya! Tapi sebab cantik punya pasal and for the love of my husband, I bought it anyway hoping that it would turn out to be nice.

Sampai rumah, after berbuka, we popped one in our mouths and believe it or not, tak berapa sedap. Terlalu banyak tepung. Rupanya cantik lah, tapi rasanya ada kurang sikit.

I was a bit upset. I honestly thought it would taste good given the price that I paid for it. So, I made another resolution, just like my Rock Run, to try baking my own Biskut Arab.

The recipe I used is this:

230g tepung gandum (goreng dulu & leave it to cool)
175g minyak sapi (cair kan & leave to cool)
175g gula halus
50g tepung suji

(source: internet)

Surprise! Surprise! They turned out to be pretty nice. “Sedap! Macam ni lah rasa dia, yang!”, exclaimed my husband.

And he was promoting it to my MIL when we visited them on Saturday night. Buat malu saja… bukannya elok sangat! My MIL took one piece (I was very nervous to know what she thought of it!) and as she munched away, she slowly gave me that approval nod and I was thrilled! Yeay!! She liked it! “Macam nilah… cuba2 …”, she said. Hee.. hee…

(but after that, she whispered to me, “Ada yang tak betul pada kuih tu tadi…”. Hmmm… memang tak pernah dapat perfect score!)

Anyway, I think dah cukup lah kuih raya I tahun ni. Maybe I’ll just make a little bit more to bring home to my parents in Ipoh.

For now, I’m quite happy to see stacks of my home-made kuih raya nicely arranged on the kitchen table. Kuih yang beli-beli tu dah tak tengok dah!

And the smiling faces of my family members as they eat away my home-baked cookies make all the trouble worthwhile…

Kuih Raya MrsN

Hari Sabtu yang lepas, I went to visit a friend. I wanted her to take me to the shop where she had her sofas reupholstered. Unfortunately, the shop does not take any more order because they are fully booked. After raya nanti baru boleh buat. Hmmm… nampaknya tahun ini, raya pakai kerusi buruk tu jugak lah. This is what happened when we procrastinate.

Anyway, after going to the shop, I dropped by at her house coz she wanted to show me her kuih raya which she has just attempted to bake after so many years. Usually, like me, she’d just buy them from the shops or order from the bakers. This year, she said, she wanted to make them herself because it’s so easy and cheaper that way. Plus she has a new maid who actually sells kuih raya.

So apa lagi… she went to shop, bought the stuff and started baking. Over the weekend, she managed to make a good 5-6 type of biskut raya and they looked pretty neat to me.

“BJ, engkau buat lah sendiri. Senang saja..” , said my friend.

I was a bit skeptical at first because I have never tried making my own kuih raya. Dulu-dulu, masa kecik, adalah tolong mak buat kuih raya. Itu pun setakat potong buah cherry, terap adunan dengan acuan, or susun kuih dalam balang. Buat sendiri the whole thing from scratch memang tak pernah.

Tapi memandangkan my friend ni yang beriya2 kata senang, senang, I pun terus teruja untuk mencuba. She gave me the recipes of some of the kuih which she has tried plus some of the basic ingredients like tepung kastad, badam kisar and a block of butter. So, I really had no reason not to try it, lah kan?

I went home and started thinking of what biscuits to make. In my mind, I only had 2: Biskut Cornflakes and Samperit because these are the biscuits that I like best. Kalau beli, satu balang can cost me RM27-35 (depending on where I buy it from) itu pun tak tentu sedap. Kalau buat sendiri, lebih murah:

Butter - RM3.50, Tepung - RM3.60, Gula – RM 1.50.

Vanilla essence, cornflakes, apa ke benda lagi tu memang dah sedia ada kat rumah, tak payah beli lagi. So, you see? Tak sampai RM10 je costnya and you can make a lot more than satu balang. With that, I was convinced.

I first tried the Cornflakes because I didn’t have the acuan samperit at that time. First batch, tak menjadi. Rasa ada, tapi rupa dia tak berapa menarik. It was flat and a tad too sweet.

So I tried it the second time. Ok sikit ~ rupa ada, tapi rasa ada kurang sikit sebab terlupa taruh susu tepung (konon dah terror tak payah tengok resipi!). But overall, I think they were quite nice (for my standard lah). Kata orang, tak malu lah kalau nak hantar rumah mak mertua! And every time after berbuka, MrNordin & Nadim will take a bite or two, and I’m quite happy to see that they like it.

On Monday, we went to hunt for the acuan samperit at Chow Kit. Why there? Because I wanted to buy yang tembaga punya, like the one my mother had. I went down to look for it, my husband and the rest of my family members waited in the car, amidst the jam. Tapi mana ada jual lagi acuan tembaga sekarang ni… jenuh bertanya, semua kata tak ada. In the end, I bought the plastic ones because my husband was already screaming at me on the phone to come back to the car. Oh well… men! They just don’t understand the concept of look, see and feel before buying anything, do they?

With those things in my possession, I could start making my biskut samperit. But the recipe? I had 3 different versions, tak tahu mana satu nak pilih. Ada yang pakai tepung gandum and cornstarch, ada yang pakai tepung kastad saja and ada yang pakai a combination of all three tepungs. Hai… pening! Pilih punya pilih, I chose the one with tepung gandum and cornstarch because this recipe uses condensed milk.

Tak jadi…. KERAS!!! Campak kat dinding pun tak pecah! Biskut samperit is supposed to be soft and melt in the mouth, right? Not hard like biskut Tai Thong!

I tak puas hati! So a day after that I tried it again, this time using the tepung kastad version. Amazingly, that turned out very well. Just the right texture and taste. My maid kata, “Sedap… macam nilah baru ada rasa samperit!”. Lega….

Having completed two types of kuih raya (after two failed attempts), I realized that I’m not cut to be a baker, like some of my friends who can actually make money out of it. Baru dua jenis kuih, dah tak larat. Macamana lah agaknya orang yang buat beratus-ratus biji kuih tu untuk dijual di hari raya? Yang jenis duduk depan oven dari lepas sahur sampai nak berbuka, buat kuih punya pasal. Hee… amazing! But I suppose, if you know there’s money in it, you’ll do it anyhow.

As of now, tepung ada banyak lagi kat rumah, butter pun ada lagi. So, I think I’m going to make some more this weekend.

My husband told me his favourite biskut raya is “Rock Bun” but not many people make it anymore. So semalam I dah try lah, tapi err… tak berapa menjadi jugak. I think the texture was not quite right. The recipe I used stated “Beat butter and sugar”, but I think the correct way to do it is to use teknik “Gaul & Ramas”. I remember this because Rock Bun was the first biscuit I made in my SRT class! So tak apa, I shall try it again and surprise my husband when he comes back from JB tomorrow.

Cheers everyone and selamat mencuba! If I can do it, so can you!!