Kisah Pembantu Rumah - Part 1

Ever since I married MrNordin, I only know of one maid, Sri.

Sri came into my husband’s family in 2002. I was not married yet then. She was this tomboyish-looking gal with short hair and big-built, always looking at me nervously whenever I came around visiting.

I remember her going in and out of the kitchen when I visited their house one day and I thought she looked rather suspicious. She was illegal at first, but after seeing that she was quite capable of handling the housework, MrNordin applied for her work permit and so, she was made legal.

I got to know her better after I moved into the family. One word to describe her is ~ competent. She takes care of everything in the house while we are at work ~ from cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing to taking care of the pets (we had a lot then ~ chickens, cats, birds, tortoises and now a goose) and the kids.

She also supervises the gardener, the plumber, the electrician, the driver, the bill collector, the air-cond man and whoever that comes around to the house while we were out. We can trust her with giving instructions to them and clarifying what’s wrong with the devices.

She can cook very well, sekali ajar dah boleh buat. I thought her how to cook nasi lemak and asam pedas, now her asam pedas and nasi lemak are the ones that my kids crave for when they come home for the holidays. She makes the best sambal goreng and ayam berlada (which I don’t know how to). Her sambal belacan is only second best to my MIL’s and her masak lemak is almost as good.

Besides masakan melayu, she can also cook pasta and such ~ macaroni and cheese tu pejam mata je lah, spagetthi olio, carbonara, bolognaise etc, etc. But I thought her first how to do all these lah... (must claim credit !).

She’s also a good seamstress. Before she came to Malaysia, she was working in a garment factory in her kampung for a while and that’s how she acquired the skill. She sews her own baju, Nizzar’s baju melayu, repair our baju2 yang dah koyak, jahit tepi kain, jahit samping etc, etc. It’s so convenient.

Besides her multi-skills, she’s also quite clever. Maybe because she has been with us for a long time and she knows our style. Sometimes when I’m out with my friends at night and my MIL calls the house, she could cover for me by saying, “Kak Yati dah tidur, bu…” (I didn’t ask her to do that).

Or when some sales man call, demanding to speak to my husband, she could gaduh with the guy to stop bugging us.

And she can speak English as well. Not fluent, but bolehlah sikit-sikit. She reads Harry Potter, ok? And watches TV with my children. I guess that’s how she picks up the language.

I’m glad she wanted to learn although my MIL was not very happy when she found out that our maid reads books instead of doing housework. We told her, "Daripada dia dok melepak dengan maid2 lain kat luar, baiklah dia baca buku, mak…" She was not amused.

Having her around was a blessing for us all. I remember when Nizzar was just a little baby, she was the one who took care of him after I went back to work. She’s very good with children and I can trust leaving her with my baby.

But not everything is well and good. She has her flaws and her days as well. If you’ve been reading my blog, there were times when I got cross with her due to her lax attitude. And that’s normal especially when one has been working for one employer for a long time. Complacency sets in… she becomes lazy, sloppy with her work… that’s when we gave her a scolding so she toe the line once again.

But most times, she would realize it was her mistake and she would come to me after that to apologize. At least she felt remorse and that’s a good sign.

To this very day, I have never treated her as a maid per se coz she’s been a part of our family. She eats with us at the dining table, she goes on holiday with us, she comes with us whenever we dine out, she eats what we eat and she drinks what we drink from the same Portmeirion plates and cups that we have in the house. No different pots/plates/cups for maid vs our own use coz we don’t believe in that.

Well, initially she did eat alone in the kitchen after we had our meals but over time, we just asked her to join us at the dining table. Dahlah penat2 masak, takkan makan sorang2 kat belakang pulak, ya tak?

To me, she’s family. That’s why when she told us that she wanted to get married at the end of this year and that she wants to go back to Indonesia, we were devastated. Can we do without her? Can we get the same maid as good as her? Is she sure of her decision?

Going home is one thing, but getting married is another thing. She’s a good girl, hard-working, and has lots of money having worked here for 7 years. This guy is a painter (tukang cat) and he does odd jobs as and when they are available. Don’t know how they met but she told me he is a neighbor in her kampung. He came here only recently.

From what she told us, we were not convinced that he’s a good guy. I think he’s just after her money. But pressure from both sides of the family and the fact that she’s now 25 and still not married (kat kampong dia kira dah andartu lah tu..), she succumbed to their wishes tho’ deep inside I know she doesn’t really want to marry this guy.

I shed tears when she told me about it coz I worry for her future. After being with us for some time, my only wish is that she’ll have a better life after she leaves. Having worked so hard all this while, I don’t want her to lose all the money that she has earned to this guy. I want her to have a good life; not lavish but comfortable enough for a small family unit.

I feel that she deserves a good life. She always told me, "Saya datang ke sini untuk kerja dan kumpul wang supaya adik2 saya and anak2 saya boleh pergi ke sekolah... sesuatu yang saya tak pernah alami selama ini. Saya mahu mereka dapat kehidupan yang lebih baik dari diri saya, k.Yati...”

I know her intentions are noble, that’s why I don’t want this guy to screw it up!

In Search of the perfect Nasi Kandar

For the past two Saturdays, I have had nasi kandar for lunch. First, it was Nasi Kandar Kudu and second was Nasi Kandar Yaseen, both located along Jalan Raja Laut/Tuanku Abdul Rahman.

I love nasi kandar, so does my family. Our favourite haunt is Pelita near Wisma Central at Jalan Ampang. I don’t know what they put in the rice, but it is just so sedaaap! Every time makan, sure licin satu pinggan!

I usually like my rice loaded with all the kuah, but my lauk would just be ayam goreng. Plus a bendi or two and telur masin... sehingga menjilat jari, babe!!

The thing with us is that, once we like eating at a certain place, we will continue going there and will not try anywhere else. Call us boring, but that’s how we like it. Familiarity, I suppose...

But this time around, we decided to try other nasi kandar restaurants just for the fun of it.

I was sceptical at first about Kudu. The restaurant is small (compared to Pelita) and there’s nothing fancy about it. Just a typical family run business at the corner of Jln TAR.

But what made me changed my mind was when I saw there were a lot of mamaks having their meals in the restaurant. I saw this popular TV personality who is a renowned gynaecologist eating there with his family and I thought, “Kalau ramai mamak makan kat sini, I’m sure the food is good”.

Then I saw old newspaper cuttings on the wall, stating that Kudu was P.Ramlee’s favourite nasi kandar joint. Apa lagi... terus duduk lah!

Indeed, the curry was good. Well combined without any spill at the side of our plates (unlike in Pelita). But I couldn’t finish my rice because there was just too much on my plate.

(photos courtesy of http://pablopabla.blogspot.com/)

Then, the next Saturday, we tried Nasi Kandar Yaseen pulak which was just a few steps away from Kudu. This restaurant is not as clean as Kudu but their signature dish is the ayam masak kicap, ie the black sauce. Not bad, the ayam goreng is nice and crispy, but still, I couldn’t finish my rice coz there was just too much on my plate.

(photos courtesy of http://www.foodpoi.com/)

(For location of these two restaurants, please Google. Thank you.)

From my experience eating at these two (or three if you included Pelita) restaurants, one can’t really tell the difference when it comes to taste. Each has its own unique taste, so it really depends on what you’re going for.

But for me, if the all nasi kandar tasted almost the same, then the deciding factor would be: 1) cleanliness, and 2) ease of parking.

So for now, the Top 2 in my nasi kandar list would be Pelita and Kudu. I think Pelita still takes the cake coz I love their rice.

Anyway, I’m off to Penang next month for a vacation and while I’m there, I shall continue my search for the perfect nasi kandar! Yeay!!

As Good As It Gets

Last night, we were all gathered in the study room. It was after midnight but we were still wide awake and didn’t want to go to sleep yet.

Nizzar was looking through old photo albums for pictures of his brother and sisters when they were about his age while Nadim was guiding him with the “who is who”.

As he flipped through the pages, suddenly he stopped at this one particular photo and asked his brother, “Nadim, ini siapa Dim?”

Nadim took a second look at the picture and softly replied, “This is my arwah Mama..”

I choked up when I heard his reply.

“This is Nadim’s Mummy, Nizzar…”, I added, and the little boy turned over the page.

I didn’t know if the little boy understood what we said or not, but I found it quite surreal because what was going through his mind must be, “Hey, I know everyone’s faces here… but I’ve not seen this one before. Who could she be?”

That must have prompted him to ask Nadim who she was.

Right after that, I felt a tinge of sadness. I went into the bathroom and sat on the throne quietly, pondering over the incident.

I felt sorry for Nadim coz he had lost his mother when he was still very young. He didn’t get enough love and affection that he should be getting from a real mother because she passed away much too soon. He was only 7 at that time… and it has been 8 years now since he lost his mother.

Throughout the years, he struggled to grow up into a fine young man without the love from a mother. Fortunately, he had his father who tried in every way that he could to be both mother and father to his children. Yes, I was there too in the middle of it, but it's just not the same.

So when his father tends to give in a little bit more to him than to the girls, I can understand why...

When we were looking at those pictures, I could feel that this boy must be wishing that his mother was still alive. That he could still be showered with her hugs and kisses, just like what I love to do with Nizzar. I wondered if he missed his mother…

You know, being a stepmother to 3 kids and a real mother to 1, I do feel the difference when it comes to displaying my affection towards them. With Nizzar, I could easily smother him with kisses and roll over in bed many, many times before we go to sleep because I feel there is no holds barred. He is my son, I can spoil him if I want to and I can spank him if he misbehaved.

But with the older kids, I feel quite awkward to show my affection and I think, they feel the same way too. Something is holding me back. Maybe because when I came into the family, they were already grown ups. I didn’t know how to “manja” kan them although many times I wished I could just hug them and smother them with kisses like how I do to Nizzar.

But this doesn’t mean I love them less. I love them all the same and I treat them like I would my own children. I worry over them like any parent would. When they go away, I miss them… when they come home, I am elated.

My favourite moment is when I find them all sitting at the dining table, chatting about everything under the sun. I love to hear their laughters. That's when I'm the happiest person on earth.

I suppose, mothers show their love and affection towards their children in many ways. I try as much as possible to be fair, and I hope my children realize that too.

My only wish is that I could be a better mother to them. I don't know how much better, but I think it could have been better.

But for now, I guess, this is as good as it gets...

Nizzar's 1st Halloween Party

Last Saturday, my little boy was invited to a Halloween Party at Beverly Heights. This is where his Aunty Gina lives.

I’ve never been to a proper Halloween Party before. The closest experience I had on Halloween was when our next door neighbor threw a big Halloween Party for their 15-year old last year, complete with a DJ and disco for all the kids who came dressed up to the theme. We were all admiring from far (we were not invited, of course) but I did give the kids candies when they came around “trick or treating”.

So for this one, I really didn’t know what to expect. I knew it was actually meant for the little ones, so I thought a nice Halloween costume for Nizzar would be proper. So we went to get his outfit, a Power Ranger suit, and a pumpkin. The little boy was very happy, he didn’t want to take it off once I put it on him!

Red Ranger

Anyway, on the day itself, we arrived at Gina’s house just after 5pm. Outside, I could see children and adults walking down the street towards the club house in their Halloween costumes. Cool! Gina got us a hat each. We wore those hats and joined the crowd going to the clubhouse.

The scene at the clubhouse was amazing! People really made the effort to dress up for the occasion and I was very impressed by some of the costumes they wore. There were games, but we did not participate, preferring to sit down and enjoy the food while snapping away photographs of the children.

What I like best about the evening was the trick or treating. We went to almost 20 houses (or more) in the neighborhood for trick or treating and I tell you, Nizzar was very thrilled with all the sweets and candies that he collected. At one point, he even whispered to me, "Nizzar tak suka rumah Nizzar. Nizzar suka rumah Aunty Gina!"

Oh yeah! Now my boy is thinking that going to Aunty Gina's house means candies all night long!

Some owners really went all out to decorate their houses with Halloween paraphernalia. Some even converted their front porch into a haunted house. Spooky! I was having so much fun until I lost my voice!

It was such a joy seeing all the children running around from house to house that night, shouting “Trick or Treat…!!!” and receiving sweet treats in return. People there were really friendly. Though we didn't know anyone besides Alya and Haris (Gina's kids), the neighbourhood made us feel welcomed and that's what made it more special.

I told Gina after that to just buy a house there. No need to look elsewhere...

As dusk sets in, we made our way through the dark alley looking for treats. It was quite windy and drizzling slightly, so it left quite an eery feeling. Just perfect for the occasion and I loved it!

The trick or treating ended at 8.15pm. By that time, my little boy was already too tired and demanded that I carry him home. Hee.. hee... never mind... Mummy had fun too, Nizzar, and I don't mind carrying you though you are now much too heavy for my size. I piggy-backed him in the end.

After dinner at Gina's house, we left for home. I wanted to stay and watch "Drag Me To Hell" which Gina had purchased for the occasion. Unfortunately, my husband told me some people were coming to the house and so I had to go home. Well, we've had enough fun for the night, thus going home didn't seem like a bad option after all.

Thank you Gina for inviting us and I sure look forward to next year's Halloween at your place again!!

Enjoy the photos!

Me and my brood

Haris and his scary mask. I thought it was so cool..

Walking towards the Clubhouse. Notice the little Red Ranger on the right.

I love the hat! Thanks Gina!

The party has just started when we arrived

The lady giving instructions to the children

Mdm Tai Tai and a friend. Nabila eating chicken wing which was yummy!

Luke Skywalker

A lady and her fork

Red Indian lady

I like this boy's cool head gear





This one takes the cake. He told me it was his mum's idea.





The scary pumpkin






Halloween cupcakes





Red Ranger enjoying his food






These two girls look so adorable in their outfits

Arrgghhh!! I'm gonna eat you!!

Witches and vampires

Boo!!

Freddy Kruger

Nabila and the scary orange balloon

Mdm Tai Tai and her candies to give away

Trick or treat!! Kids who came around to Gina's house

Walking in the neighbourhood looking for treats..

We bumped into Harris and his friends..

Harris & friends

This guy waited for us at one of the houses we went to

The alleyway

Nizzar and his botol air

Happy!!

More houses to go..

This boy's parents were very smart in thinking of this.

Another interesting house we visited

Nizzar's treasures

Sweets and candies to last weeks..

A Wedding Story

My BIL has finally ended his bachelorhood days when he uttered the lafaz akad nikah to his beloved wife two weeks ago. This was followed by a wedding reception on the bride's side the very next day, and last Friday was the reception on our side. Tiring, but fun.

And that explains my long silence.

The newly weds after akad nikah

My husband was the chief coordinator for his youngest brother's wedding. I played a supporting role. Organizing a wedding of this size is no joke but with the help of many relatives and friends, I think we did pretty well.

Personally, I think weddings are over-rated. The planning took months, the money spent was exorbitant, and for what? Just for show. I've been to so many weddings before this, from the one where the Agong was the guest of honour to the one which had the whole ballroom transformed into a secret garden from the Middle East. Very extravagant indeed...

But at the end of the day, as the guests took their leave, it would be just another wedding. Perhaps, it's the bride and groom who would cherish all the pomp of their wedding day. But do they? Or is it the parents?

Long before I got married, I'd never dream of a big wedding. All I wanted was a simple nikah and right after that, I'd getaway with my new husband to our honeymoon destination. That's it. But I must be joking, right? My mother would disown me if I did that! So, I agreed to a small reception at home in Ipoh, but even then, no merenjis what-so-ever. Although it was just a small wedding, we are still happily married to this very day. So who's to complain?

Bottomline is, no matter how big or small your wedding is, you must do it according to your own means. Ukur baju dibadan sendiri, kata orang. Kalau disebabkan nak buat majlis yang besar2an kita kena berhutang sana sini, baiklah tak payah. Orang datang, dah makan pulang. Kadang2 tak sempat pun jumpa pengantin. Yang kita ni, lepas tu nak menanggung membayar hutang. Buat apa? Baiklah duit tu digunakan untuk keperluan selepas kawin.

That's my take on it lah...

But, if you had the financial means, by all means, buat lah se-grand mana yang dikehendaki. Panggil lah Permaisuri Agong sekali pun, who cares (but still, I don't believe in inviting a royalty to your wedding because it should be kept as a family event. Unless you pun memang kerabat di raja, lain lah cerita). Tapi kalau tak ada, buatlah secara sederhana sahaja. Jangan nanti, rumah dah siap, pahat pun berbunyi. Enough said.

Anyway, back to my BIL's wedding.

My dear friends, SW and her husband, had agreed to become the MC for the evening. I think, that made the event somewhat special for me. They did a very good job, very cool and composed, despite the lack of practice. Both looked resplendant in blue and I believe after this, they would receive many offers to become the MC for important events.

Usually, all weddings on MrNordin's side of the family would be MC-eed by this lady who has always held that position for as long as I can remember. But for Yem's wedding, we were determined to make a difference and that's when Shila and Jab came into the picture. I've never seen them doing an MC job before, but I had a feeling they could do the job. So when I SMS Shila while she was still on holiday in Japan and she said Yes!, I was elated.

And true to my expectation, they did a very good job indeed. Even Yem complimented them by saying, "They are cool, huh?" So there you are, Shila! Next time boleh charge! Thanks again to you and Jab. It was lovely!

Bab2 yang lain tu, biasalah...

My MIL is happy that her youngest son has finally settled down. My new SIL is now staying at my MIL's house. Hee... hee... I wish her all the best! As I hugged her and said, "Welcome to the family!", deep inside I wished she would be strong and not easily affected by what's coming.

Perhaps she won't have it so bad, but even if she did, I'm determined to help her in anyway that I could coz that's what a SIL is for, right?

Enjoy the pictures!

MrNordin the Chief Coordinator

Shila and Jab

With Shila and Gina

The MCs at work

The Pelamin

With FIL, in dark blue

Pengantin Tua No. 1

Pengantin Tua No. 2 (hee.. hee...)

Red Raya

I just got home from a 13-hour journey KL-Sg Petani-KL to send Nadira back to college. It was tiring.

Sg Petani-Ipoh took us 4 hours when usually, 2 hours would do. Sorry Lyana, I didn't get to call you or singgah rumah coz we were in a hurry to get home.

And I'm nursing a runny nose. Bad combo...

Anyway, raya was good. We wore red this time. I made KG's carrot cake for raya morning and my MIL was pretty impressed.

Just sharing some photos. Will write more when I'm in a better frame of mind. In the the mean time, enjoy your open houses and be merry.

Selamat Hari Raya from MrsNordin and family!

Boleh masuk URTV tak?

Mont Blanc vs Kilometrico

It was 1 am and I was just coming out of the bathroom when I saw my husband sitting on the floor, rummaging through piles of papers and stuff from the drawer of our dressing table.

"You buat apa tu yang?"

"I’m looking for my pen."

He has been searching for it since last week but he can’t seem to find it.

"Alah… give up je lah the search. You’ve already bought two new pens recently, kan?"

Every fasting month, my husband would have a penchant for collecting something new. Last year it was kain pelikat. Kemana pergi cari kain pelikat. This year, it’s pens.

He would go out with his office colleagues during lunch break (if he was not sleeping) and visit some old stores like P.Lal or G.S Gill to browse for unusual stuff. That day, he brought home this pen which he just bought from P.Lal for RM300.

The next day, another pen from I-don’t-know-what store for RMx00 “It’s transparent, yang!”, he said excitedly.

Over the weekend, he bought another pen. This time, it was a fountain pen with a proper ink in a bottle. Then as we sat down for coffee, he started reminiscing about his younger years when he first learnt to use a fountain pen.

Remember that time? I remember I was in Std 4 when my teacher taught me cursive handwriting using a fountain pen. It was hard at first, must write very slowly because all the alphabets must be connected to one another. But once I got the hang of it, I loved it.

It’s really nice, actually. I especially like the part when I had to refill the ink. Dip, squeeze, let go – voila! But one must be careful not to dabble in it too much coz otherwise, you’ll get blue marks all over your fingers!

Unfortunately these days, I notice schools do not teach cursive handwriting anymore. Nadim told me there is no such thing in his school, he never learn cursive handwriting. No wonder his handwriting is still sebijik2 even though he’s now in Form 3!

I think, my husband managed to find one of his lost pens last night coz he seemed happy this morning. Already last night I overheard him talking to his buddy at work, “So esok lunch time, apa project kita? Nak cari pen lagi ke?”

At first, I couldn’t understand his fascination with pens. To me, a pen is just a pen. I wouldn’t pay more than RM5 for a pen, which I use for taking down notes, mostly. But as for my husband, his signature is very important, hence he must have a very good pen to sign with.

It’s a status symbol too, I guess. Having a good quality pen tucked inside the pocket of his shirt exudes superiority and class. Just like what handbags do.

Compare a Prada and non-branded handbag. See the difference? You feel like you’re walking on air if you’re carrying an original Prada on your shoulder than if you’re carrying one with no brand name.

For a non-fussy person like me, any pen will do. As long as I can sign my name, the pen has served its purpose. But for my husband, he may have his reasons when choosing his precious pens.

Last time, I used to roll my eyes whenever my husband brought home an expensive pen. But now, I'm thinking, if that's what he likes, let it be.

What can I say.... he's a Mont Blanc man while I’m just a Kilometrico girl.