Monday, May 31, 2010

Two Tahlil and A Funeral

It was a hectic long weekend. Full of kenduri.

Friday night was at our house. We held a kenduri arwah/tahlil for my husband’s late wife. It has been two years since the last time we had one. Ever since MrN joined the JB company lah. Busy tak habis2 busy.

But this year, we just have to do it because it’s long overdue. Furthermore, my SIL said she dreamt of her a couple of weeks ago, asking for a new baju.

My first thought was, scary. But on second thought, I felt sorry for her. Sorry that we had forgotten about her, sorry that the kids did not offer their prayers for her as often, and sorry that my husband was too busy to buat kenduri for her.

I spoke to a friend about the dream and she said, kalau kita mimpi macam tu, maknanya arwah tu nak kita sedekahkan tahlil or ayat2 suci. Bacaan2 doa tu ibarat makanan untuk dia.

She said, in the "other world", they’ll compare their baju. Ada yang pakai baju cantik, berseri2... dan ada yang berbaju lusuh dan kusam. Kalau kita rajin sedekahkan Al-fatihah buat arwah, akan naik balik seri warna baju tu. Macam tu lah lebih kurang..

So I told the kids to sedekahkan Al-Fatihah for their mother every night before they go to sleep. She has no one else to help her in the other life except for her own children. We can do tahlil or kenduri for her, but doa anak2 tu yang akan sampai terus kepada dia. And they understood.

During the tahlil, my SIL said arwah came and sat behind my husband. Orang yang sembahyang belakang my husband malam tu kata ada bau kemiyan masa baca Ya’asin. I didn’t feel anything or smell anything but I knew she had come. And I’m glad.

On Saturday, we all went back to Ipoh because my mother pulak nak buat tahlil dan kenduri kesyukuran. My SIL who has been teaching in Dungun for the past 9 years finally got her transfer to Shah Alam so she can now be reunited with my brother, who is her husband.

It was a happy occasion. We helped with the d├ęcor, chipped in for the gifts and helped her do the necessary stuff during the kenduri. I think my mother’s wishes were fully satisfied yesterday and I could tell that by the look on her face as we said our goodbyes.

And this morning, I went to visit a dear friend's sister who passed away at a tender age of 32. She had leukemia. I visited her last Thursday at the ICU where she remained unconscious in bed. At that time I thought, how sad...

I hugged her husband and tears fell on my cheeks. I remembered those times many, many years ago when she was still fit and healthy. She used to come to our office in the evening as her husband and I worked at the same office. Sometimes, we all would go for karaoke after work and she would join us and we would have so much fun laughing over some silly songs.

But now it's all over... she's gone.

Sigh... Life is too short, my friends. Treasure each day and make the best of what we have so we will not have any regret when it's time for us to go.


Friday, May 21, 2010

Do You Believe in Ghosts?

A friend had a recent encounter of strange happenings in her house. Spooky things that made her sleepless at nights.

The ustaz she called said there are jins in her house, activated by her Indonesian maid who had her own “bodyguard”. But even after sending the maid back to Indon, she still heard strange sounds from the ceiling of her bedroom and knocking on her door at night. That made her very scared.

My friend lives alone with her two children as her husband works overseas. Without a man in the house, her fear factor is even stronger. To make matters worse, her husband doesn’t believe in all this hantu mantu. To him, it was her own imagination. Every time she called to mengadu, he would be dismissive and blamed her for aggravating her own fear by calling the ustaz.

What would a woman do, right? Husband is not here, rumah ada macam2 bunyi… I would have called an ustaz myself if I felt that my house is spooked. Rightly or wrongly, at least I’m doing something.

So, she used to confide in me about her fear and frustration that the thing was still bugging her even after 2 ustaz had visited her house and she had paid more than RM2k to them. That’s a lot of money, don’t you think?

I think, the ustaz took advantage of her situation and extorted money from her knowing the fact that her husband wasn’t here. One said, it was to part-finance his Sekolah tahfiz in Bangi, but I doubt so. I’ve never heard ustaz asked for beribu2 ringgit untuk berubat secara spiritual!

Kesian my friend… duit dah banyak habis, tapi rumah dia still tak tenang.

After discussing about her situation many times with MrNordin, we decided to take her see MrNordin’s cousin who is a spiritual healer. My BIL and SIL also agreed because this guy had “cleansed” our house before. His method is simple, he will kill the thing, whatever it is that’s disturbing you. How he does it? He will “shoot” the thing using his fingers (macam main tembak2) and according to my SIL who can see “things”, there is actually fire coming out of his fingers when he does that!

Hard to believe, huh? Just take my word for it.

We didn’t want to take her to see this guy earlier because his healing method is quite troublesome. Kena mandi air tanah. Usually orang mandi air limau or bunga, this one kena mandi air tanah. Why? Because tanah is where we come from. He says, mandi bunga or limau tu is not good because it opens up your spirit to the other side of the world. Means, lepas you mandi bunga/limau, people from the other side can see you clearly and you will appeal to them more.

Hee…I don’t know how true this is, but that’s what he said.

Anyway, we took her over to this guy’s office and he said her house ada “orang bunian”. And that if she wanted to get rid of them, there were a few things that she needed to do like throwing small pebbles at each corner of her house including in the ceiling, and spraying salt water (which has been blessed) around the house. But she decided not to do that because i) she was going to move to a new house soon and ii) there was no one to help her do the ritual. Plus, she was tired of all this nonsense.

Hence, this guy told her to just mandi air tanah. Not once, but 9 times! Aiyo.. I dulu kena 7 kali saja and I thought that was a lot already. But my friend was quite adamant coz she wanted to get better. So, we brought home 3 packs of tanah for her to mandi later.

That night, I went to my MIL’s house to pay her a visit. My SIL was there too, so we briefed them on what happened during the day. My SIL said, maybe the thing had been there all this while, they lived there. When their home was disturbed, they got angry. I was quite worried that I might have trouble sleeping that night, but Alhamdulillah…I slept peacefully.

The next day was Mother’s Day. We had lunch at home and took our time going to my MIL’s house again in the evening to celebrate with her. We brought her a tray of apple pie, which we baked based on a recipe we got from “Cook Like a Chef” on AFC channel.

Upon reaching my MIL’s house, I heard a commotion in the kitchen. My SIL was talking to my husband. “Beritahu Yati lah”, I heard my husband said. Apasal pulak ni?

The moment she saw me, she pulled my hand and said, “Yati! Hantu XXX ikut you all malam tadi! She visited me last night!”

Oh, oh… !! Apparently, the “thing” in my friend’s house had followed me and MrNordin the night before and since they knew my SIL could see dead people, they visited her in her sleep!

The “thing” told my SIL that they had been living in my friend’s house for a long time. They were lost souls.. and there were 26 of them in the house! 26?!! No wonder the ustaz punya jampi tak menjadi!

In the dream, the thing actually “brought” my SIL to my friend’s house and showed her where she lived! Eww! My SIL had never been to my friend’s house before and yet she could tell me where the thing resided in the house. It was a lady actually who talked to my SIL. She said, they don’t want to harm my friend and her family, they just want to continue living there. Hence her message was, “Please tell your friend not to chase us away. Do that, and we won’t disturb her anymore...”

Eeee… scary, huh? My SIL said, the lady looked Chinese and wore a flower on her hair.

Takut! Takut! Takut! I immediately called my friend and conveyed the message to her. She was stiff scared! Who wouldn’t? But I calmed her down by saying that at least now she knew the real story, who were in the house and why they were there. Just tell the ustaz not to come anymore.

She did just that, and Alhamdulillah… the disturbances stopped. Not completely, but not as bad as before. And she could sleep better at night, especially after the mandi.

Phew… what an episode! I’ve never experienced such a thing before. Well, I know there are things in my house too, but as long as I don’t see them and they don’t disturb me, I’m very fine. This is also interesting because they ”communicated” with us so we know the real story (macam that movie “Sixth Sense”). Cool or what?

So, whenever masuk rumah baru, hati2… pasang “pagar” so that bad spirits don’t disturb your family. At night, always leave one light on. When you leave the house for a few days, leave a light on as well to protect your house from bad spirits as they love dark places.

That’s all for now. Share your ghost stories, if you had any. Cheers!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Botak Boys

I have some free time now (actually, not!) so I can write a little bit more.

BIL and family came to our house last night. BIL is actually MrNordin’s second brother, the no. 2 in the family, and the only one who has (had?) a full grown hair. But three days ago, he decided to shave his head bald. To start a new life, he said.

Now all the three brothers are bald. If they had a band, they can call themselves the “Botak Boys”.

So last night he came to our house to ask for tips on how to care for his clean shaven head from my husband. Just like us who have full grown hair on our heads, bald men also need to take care of their hairless heads.

Must shave every two days, put a certain minyak to make it shine, must protect the head under extreme heat, and must always bring a hanky coz when you makan pedas2, you’ll sweat and it’ll be dripping on your face. Macam air hujan!

Some guys look good when they go bald while some don’t. It depends very much on his physique, the shape of his head (kalau melonjong, tak cantik sangat. The best if it’s round), the way he dresses and the way he carries himself. Kalau kena, he will look cool… kalau tak, he will look sick.

When I first met MrN, he was not completely bald. He had some hair at the sides of his head but very thin on top. He also had a thin moustache which made him look quite sweet. But after a while, he decided to just shave them off because uban dah banyak keluar. And he looked old.

But I think this style suits him better and he could carry it well. Sometimes, he would joke with the children, “What if I grow my hair back? Get a hair implant?” His children would scream, “Eeewww… NO, BABA!!!!”

Because it runs in the family, some of the children will have receding hair line too, especially the boys. Nadim is already experiencing thinning hair, kesian dia. Every day he would massage hair tonic or lotion on his scalp to keep his crown glory intact, but it’s a slow process.

Nizzar I think will face the same thing as his hair is quite thin and jarang2. Plus the fact that my father and brother are also botak, I think his chances of becoming botak is quite high. Sigh…. I will do something about it before it’s too late.

But personally, I think hair doesn’t make the man. What’s important is that a man embraces his hair loss issues rather than hide behind a horrible comb over or cheap toupee.

I once dated a guy who wore a toupee to cover his receding hairline (this was a match made by my mum, ok?). At first glance, I didn’t notice it but somehow, when I looked closer, the hair looked a bit weird. It was stiff and had no life. Then it occurred to me that he was wearing a wig! Eeeww!!

When I got home, I told my mum, “No, I’m not seeing him again!” She said, “Tak apa lah… ayah kamu pun botak.” Yah, but ayah doesn’t wear a wig, does he? I couldn’t imagine running my fingers through his hair in the height of passion and suddenly, “THUG!!”, the hair piece came off!

So I was glad when MrNordin did not hide his receding hairline when we first met. That spelt confidence, and I liked it.

Some women think bald men are hot. Again, it depends on individual preference and the men’s personalities.

Bald men who feel really good about themselves generally exude a sense of strength, confidence, passion and masculinity. That is hot. Otherwise, he's just like any other ordinary guys.

Old wives tales state the men with no hair have had their strands burned off because of their overwhelming passion. Hee.. hee... I can't help but agree!

Of course, truth be told, women that find bald men sexy do not necessarily find all bald men sexy. Just as guys that adore blondes don't automatically go for all blondes. What is more important is the chemistry. If the chemistry is right, everything else is secondary. Hair or no hair.

But one truth is universal. Almost all women love men that are confident, secure and honest who go after what they enjoy in life. A sense of pride and individuality is hot and women are naturally attracted to men that radiate happiness. I've found one and I'm happy with my hairless honey !

Monday, May 17, 2010

Weekend Rendezvous

The weekend getaway with MrN was a success! Despite my MIL calling at 7.00 am (yes, she called!!), asking us to have breakfast at her house, it was swell.

No, we didn’t tell her we were going for a secret rendezvous at a hotel in town because according to my husband, she would make a big fuss about it. So we didn’t tell anyone except for our children, who were very sporting about it.

But I did ask him on our way there, “Kalau mak call rumah tanya pasal kita, apa budak2 should cakap?” He said, “Just tell the truth lah! Apa nak takut? I penat2 kerja all this while , tak ada siapa nak tolong. Now I want to spend some quality time with my wife, no one should say anything about it!”

Cewah… I was very impressed. Ok, if you said so…. :)

We had dinner at the coffee house after dropping off the children at home. I was pretty bombed out by that time because I had spent most of the afternoon in the pool with Nizzar.

The swimming pool at Mandarin is nice. The water is not too deep. Even at its deepest end, the water is still below my chin. So I’m quite comfortable there as I’m not really a good swimmer.

We got back to the room at almost 11pm. Watched a bit of football and called it a day (details are censored here).

The next day, early in the morning while we were still sleeping on that heavenly bed at Mandarin, his phone rang. “That must be his mum!”, I said to myself. Then I heard him say, “Erm.. hmm… iya mak… iya lah mak… ok… ok…” and he ended the conversation.

I turned my face away from him, feeling slightly disappointed that my plan to laze in bed will be messed up.

Slowly he turned to me and said, “Mak ajak breakfast kat rumah dia, dia dah beli lontong…” No answer from me. Then he continued, “Mak kata you suka lontong tu, that’s why she bought it for you.”

I kept quiet. How to say no like that?

At that point of time, I was thinking, why does she always have to spoil my plan to have a quiet weekend with my husband? Why must this happen again? The last time pun macam ni jugak (read here).

But on second thought, well… what the heck. I’ve had my time with my husband, there’s not much more we can do this morning. Anyway, we need to eat breakfast and the lontong IS nice. So I said, ok lah. Let’s go and pick up the children and go to mak’s house.

I think he was happy that I made that decision. Although I knew he wanted to stay on as well, sometimes something’s just gotta give. And I felt good not making that an issue between us.

Nizzar was happy to see us when we reached home yesterday. He asked me, “Mummy, where did you go last night?” Hee.. Hee.. I made up some stories for him and he seemed pretty satisfied with my answer.

So that was a good weekend. I hope you’ve had a good one too! Cheers!

Friday, May 14, 2010

What I've Been Up To

I'm trying to write something here as this blog has been neglected for so long. People have been asking me why the silence? I'm just too caught up with work.

It's 12.01 am. The little boy is imitating his favourite Ultraman stunts in our bedroom. He's jumping up and down the bed, rummaging through my hair, strangling my neck from behind and making strange Japanese sounds. All these while I'm trying to ponder my thoughts.

Now he's sticking a strange object onto my hair (I think it's a comb) and trying to steal the mouse from my hand. How to write?

By the way, he turned 4 last week. No fancy birthday party this year. MrNordin and I took a day off to spend some quality time with him, doing what he likes to do best.

First stop was the toy shop. He came out of the store with 3 ekor Ultraman and 2 ekor monster! He was a happy bunny.

Next stop was lunch at our favourite restaurant. He got his balloons, french fries, pizza, ice cream and iced tea. Plus a cake and birthday song from the staff there. He was smiling with glee..

After that, we went to Pavillion as the older kids wanted to watch a movie. We dropped them off at the cinema and went to Red Box for karaoke with the little boy.

Big mistake. I couldn't sing, because the little boy was harrasing me.

Each time I picked up the microphone, he would pick up the other mic and screamed, "MUMMY! MUMMY! MUMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!! at the top of his voice or "HELLO!!!!! HELLO!!! HELLLLLOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Aiyo... it was very challenging! He did not disturb his father singing, tho', so MrNordin had a joyful time crooning to his favourite songs. It was so unfair!

But in the end, he gave up because I think he got tired of screaming so loud and played with his toys instead. Dapat jugak lah nyanyi a few songs undisturbed.

And yesterday was MrNordin's birthday. He came home very late from JB so we didn't pull any stunt to surprise him. But we are going to spend the night at M**d***n Oriental tonight..... just the two of us! Yeay! That should be nice. Just hope my MIL doesn't call!

All the children are at home right now. The two girls are back from college and are on their long term break. It's nice to come home and see them in the kitchen helping to prepare dinner. At least I don't have to think about that anymore.

Ok peeps, enjoy the photos. Will keep you posted.