Monday, May 31, 2010

Two Tahlil and A Funeral

It was a hectic long weekend. Full of kenduri.

Friday night was at our house. We held a kenduri arwah/tahlil for my husband’s late wife. It has been two years since the last time we had one. Ever since MrN joined the JB company lah. Busy tak habis2 busy.

But this year, we just have to do it because it’s long overdue. Furthermore, my SIL said she dreamt of her a couple of weeks ago, asking for a new baju.

My first thought was, scary. But on second thought, I felt sorry for her. Sorry that we had forgotten about her, sorry that the kids did not offer their prayers for her as often, and sorry that my husband was too busy to buat kenduri for her.

I spoke to a friend about the dream and she said, kalau kita mimpi macam tu, maknanya arwah tu nak kita sedekahkan tahlil or ayat2 suci. Bacaan2 doa tu ibarat makanan untuk dia.

She said, in the "other world", they’ll compare their baju. Ada yang pakai baju cantik, berseri2... dan ada yang berbaju lusuh dan kusam. Kalau kita rajin sedekahkan Al-fatihah buat arwah, akan naik balik seri warna baju tu. Macam tu lah lebih kurang..

So I told the kids to sedekahkan Al-Fatihah for their mother every night before they go to sleep. She has no one else to help her in the other life except for her own children. We can do tahlil or kenduri for her, but doa anak2 tu yang akan sampai terus kepada dia. And they understood.

During the tahlil, my SIL said arwah came and sat behind my husband. Orang yang sembahyang belakang my husband malam tu kata ada bau kemiyan masa baca Ya’asin. I didn’t feel anything or smell anything but I knew she had come. And I’m glad.

On Saturday, we all went back to Ipoh because my mother pulak nak buat tahlil dan kenduri kesyukuran. My SIL who has been teaching in Dungun for the past 9 years finally got her transfer to Shah Alam so she can now be reunited with my brother, who is her husband.

It was a happy occasion. We helped with the décor, chipped in for the gifts and helped her do the necessary stuff during the kenduri. I think my mother’s wishes were fully satisfied yesterday and I could tell that by the look on her face as we said our goodbyes.

And this morning, I went to visit a dear friend's sister who passed away at a tender age of 32. She had leukemia. I visited her last Thursday at the ICU where she remained unconscious in bed. At that time I thought, how sad...

I hugged her husband and tears fell on my cheeks. I remembered those times many, many years ago when she was still fit and healthy. She used to come to our office in the evening as her husband and I worked at the same office. Sometimes, we all would go for karaoke after work and she would join us and we would have so much fun laughing over some silly songs.

But now it's all over... she's gone.

Sigh... Life is too short, my friends. Treasure each day and make the best of what we have so we will not have any regret when it's time for us to go.



Anonymous said...

Mrs N,

It's always sad to be losing a life..

About seeing the dead, I don't know what to believe. Some said the dead don't come visiting this world anymore, they stay in alam barzakh. But anyway, when my SIL passed away 2 years ago, my little nephew, who was about 8 years old then saw her sitting at the graveyard when talkin was being read to her. Wallahualam..

Busybody @ Jah

MrsNordin said...


I think they do, and your little nephew was correct.

When we do tahlil (and mention their names), they'll come over. Not only the person mentioned, also orang2 lain.

When we recite the Ya'asin, the circle that we form symbolizes a "garden" for them and they'll sit in it while we read out the verses. This is what the ustaz told us the other night.

I believe they do visit us.

DadaIQ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DadaIQ said...

We had a hectic weekend too with two tahlil on saturday night. One was for my aunty who passed away recently due to breast cancer at the age of 50.

You are right BJ. Life is too short and we wouldn't know when our time will come. So, make full use of the time that we have right now. It's good that the kids are constantly reminded to recite Al Fatihah for their late mum. May she rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

Dead people do not hang around with us in this world. Its the jinn (qarin that is born to each individual) that is probably the one that hangs around. We have been influenced too much by the Western belief in ghosts that we forget to refer back to Quran and hadith. A book on jinn by Ustaz Ismail Kamus is a good book to read on this.

Anonymous said...

Salam Mrs N,
saya pembaca senyap mrs n and really enjoy your stories. I have lost a son and after that I read and listen to ulamak about death. Menurut ulamak orang yang mati tidak boleh kembali lagi ke dunia. apa yang kita lihat adalah qarin. Puan boleh mengetahui mengenai qarin ini melalui

MrsNordin said...


Hope to meet up with you soon. I miss you lah, girl..

MrsNordin said...

Dear Anon No. 1,

Thanks for your clarification. I shall look out for the book as you said coz I'd like to find out more about this.

Anon No. 2,

Yes, the dead cannot come back to life. What roams around (and what my SIL sees) is the jinn, as you rightly pointed out. I shall go to the link you mentioned for more information.

And I'm sorry for your loss..

Superwomanwannabe said...

MrsN- you are a wonderful 2nd mommy..ingatkan the kids jangan lupaa...

QM said...

Assalammualaikum Mrs N,

Again I am fascinated by your SIL "talents".

Maybe there is some truth to what Anon 1 and Anon 2 mentioned. Today an Ustaz on TV3 Wanita Hari ini mentioned that sometimes a sudden whiff of smell (when no one else can smell them) signifies a presence of jinn around. If it is unpleasant it is non-muslim Jinn. If pleasant then is a muslim Jinn.

I was actually looking for the truth in these smells, as I experienced a whiff of Indian Jasmine when I went to take a leak at 2am. There is a toilet in my house that has strange happenings (my 2y.o has pass by and looked into the toilet and said HI and waved for no apparent reason many a times) Plus its an old house and the toilet bowl is facing the stairs going down (which is bad feng sui) says my chinese friend.

But again Wallahualam..

But may the soul of your husband's late wife rest in peace


:: LadyVerde + Mr.Doc :: said...

1st time here...was bloghopping n came across ur blog :)
salam ramadhan to u n family!