Wednesday, May 14, 2008


A friend, Siti, called yesterday, telling me that she has been invited to a boating party by another friend, Ron. Both Siti & Ron are married, albeit to different partners. Siti is married to Nizam, who currently is out of the country on a business trip, while Ron is married to Dahlia, who according to Ron, is not interested in boating. Siti and Dahlia are stay-home hot mammas. Siti, Nizam, Ron & Dahlia are my friends. I've known them since eons.

No problem, right? Just a boating party. Siti was quite looking forward to it because this is something new which she has never tried before. But I’m quite worried because:
1) Siti’s husband doesn’t know (she said, no need to tell. He knows Ron anyway)
2) Ron’s wife probably doesn’t know either.

So, I’m not wrong to say that this boating party is their little secret. Of course there’ll be other people, but their spouses don't know about this. I told her to at least inform her husband (SMS ke, apa ke) ~ there’s nothing, right? So she shouldn’t be afraid to tell. But somehow she was a bit hesitant to do that because she’s afraid her husband would say, “No need lah…”

I know Ron. We used to be very close before. I regarded him as my own brother because that’s how he was. Very caring and friendly. But now, it's a different story. We've lost touch and if ever I bumped into him again, it’ll be just “Hi!” and “Bye!”. Very cordial.

But Ron has been in touch with Siti ~ not often, but once in a while, they would call up each other just to say hi. They’d gone out for coffee, just the two of them, but I don’t know if their spouses knew about this. Well, coffee is harmless… with friends some more. I’d gone out with him for lunch, just the two of us, but my husband knew about it. So I guess it’s ok. But I don’t dream of him or flirt with him because I think it’s not right.

So, what do you think? Should she go? I just texted her and asked if she’s still going tomorrow. She said not sure. Then I asked if she had told her husband, she said NO.

What do you think is going on? I'm just itchy to know what you all think about it!


Madam Tai Tai said...

Who are M and K???!!!!

I know T and B, based on your description.


Email me puhleeeeze!! I'm such a busy body...cepat email!

MrsNordin said...


You managed to read the first version. You're right about the names. But now it's Siti and Nizam, ok?

Kak Teh said...

hmmm tricky situation - i'd rather things be in the open.
i had someone sms'ing me late london evening and i know it is late msian night or early morning. I hate it because i dont like the idea that the wife is sleeping by his side and he is smsing some other woman - so i showed all these to my husband. It all started as old friends being in contact again - bukan close friend pun. Then sms got bolder. Then I never replied again when the sms got a bit raunchy. A few days ago - after a long silence - I got an apology - again i never replied - it is the male thing - going thru middle age crisis, kut.

Madam Tai Tai said...

I think probably Siti just wants somekind of excitement that she probably doesn't get from her everyday wife-mom life. She probably hasn't been to a party for a loooong time. So when the offer of going to one, albeit a boating one, comes along she grabs it.

With three young children and hubby away, that may prove difficult for her to get away to the party. Sure husband tak beri. Tapi she wants to go.

So the best way out possibly for her is to keep her husband ignorant about the whole thing. Nizam mungkin doesn't like her to go out alone at night and/or doesn't like her to leave the kids alone with the maid.

The boating thing could just be something very innocent. She wants a break from her monotonously mundane life & Ron is just being friendly and persuasive (I smell Network 21 in here somehow).

But still keep me updated thru email ek. Mana la tau kot my 2 cents were actually worthless.

Anonymous said...

No..she should not go...if she wants to go out, she should go out with female friends, definitely not a male friend. The fact that she doesn't want her hubby to know means she knows it's not right either.


Delicate Flower said...

This can't be good. Even if there is nothing going on, the fact that they don't want to tell their spouses will make it appear as if something is going on. I wouldn't go and will caution my friend about going as well.

Helena said...

Mmm.... this is not good....

They are either good buddies.... (i do have a male best friend... but lately we are not close anymore) or.... flirting which each other....

mmm.... try to read their body language la....

wanshana said...

Definitely a NO NO!!!

Why would she want to go out with another guy in the first place anyway? She's married with kids, and that guy, too!

And why can't he just bring his wife along? Even if she doesn't want to go, what's the big deal about going to a boating party anyway? Macam HAVE to go ke - come what may?!! Tak kisah if it's even with another man's wife?!! Aiyoooo...

My conclusion - BOTH are not happy with their marriages. Or rather, BOTH TAK SAYANG their marriages...

I hope they will fikir panjang. There are grave implications nanti.

Kmar said...


.. eem.. entah le. I prefer all of them to be open and honest with their partners. Kalau dah mula ´menipu´, lama-lama can lead to bigger lies. At the end will risk the marriages. Kan naya??.. Tak ada bala, cari bala pulak.

Whatever it is, I believe they are adult enough to make their own judgement.

MrsNordin said...

K. Teh,

I share your feelings on this. Tengah2 malam nak SMS bini orang, apa hal nya tu? Lonely? Go talk to your wife! Need a distraction? Pleeze... go and play golf or something!

Mula2, everthing is innocent. He was just trying his luck. Nasib you tak layan. Tahu pulak apologize. Kalau dah tau benda tu tak elok, apasal buat kan??

Tapi kiranya, husband you cool jugak lah... :)

MrsNordin said...


I told her, try bringing your 3 kids along to the boating party, and see what's his reaction. I bet you, he'll never ask her out that way again! Hee.. hee..

No, I think the persuasion has nothing to do with Network 21. That's an old story. He was just flirting with her, and she responded (being the friendly person that she is). Eh, come on lah... I never get such invitations from him altho' I know him even before Siti does. Why ajak her? It's just not right lah, that's how I feel about it.

Imagine kalau Nizam tahu, I'm sure he'll be very upset. He's a man of few words, tapi orang macam ni, jangan infuse his anger. I'm sure he'll be jealous... tak pernah2 pegi boating with husband, tiba2 pegi boating dengan orang lain. Hui... bahaya!! They are playing with fire!

MrsNordin said...


She should tell, right? Hey, this boating party involves 6 guys and her alone, ok? (kalau jadi lah...) I'm sure if she went ahead, the other guys would think that she is Ron's "girlfriend". Scandalous!!!

MrsNordin said...

Delicate Flower,

Dah cakap dah... but she insisted on going. I told her, kalau nak pegi jugak, you go drive there yourself and meet them there. Don't allow him to pick you up from the house ~ that's not nice. At least kalau pegi sendiri, tak lah obvious sangat, kan?

I wouldn't go either. Bahaya oi!

MrsNordin said...


They are flirting. Fullstop. I pun ada ramai male friends juga. Dulu sebelum kawin, selalu juga buat perkara2 sebegini. Tapi lepas dah kawin ni, tak ada pulak orang nak ajak keluar2 lagi macam ni. I guess, we just have to draw the line somewhere, out of respect for our husbands.

But I wonder, would our husbands think the same way if a lady friend invites him to a boating party like this??

MrsNordin said...


Both love their marriages, but saja suka2. They think it's harmless... but other people (WE ALL yang kepohci ni) think otherwise!

But whatever it is, I think she should go with her husband first (kalau teringin sangat nak pegi boating tu lah). Imagine if next time husband dia ajak, and she said, "Actually I dah pegi...", tak ke terguris hati husband dia?!!

Anyway, her husband is a very nice man, that's why I discourage her from doing this. Kalau husband dia jenis yang tak bertanggungjawab ni, I would tell her, "You go, girl!" :)

MrsNordin said...


Kes menipu macam ni selalu ada padahnya. I think we should be open with our spouses, but some, entahlah... like to hide things... It's just not fair. You talk about being honest in a relationship, but somehow, it's hard to comply with...

Helena said...

mrs nordin....

oh dear... nak cheap thrills la ni.... definitely a No-no.

Yes as wives, we should inform our husbands esp bila ada gathering ke, jumpa kawan ke.... esp when ada the opposite sex around. Must respect la our husband kan.

but if done secretly.... hmmm her hubby a man of few words.... tu yang dia take advantage kut....

Anonymous said...

I would be very offended if a male friend tries to flirt with me knowing that I am already married.

What is worse if he also KNOWS my husband.

Cos that shows the level of respect he has for me and my husband.

Anonymous said...

This is how affairs always start. First-first, innoncent 'friendship'. After that dua-dua 'naik atas ship'. Lepas tu, marriage huru-hara, anak kucar kacir, and semua merana. If she really loves the husband, beritahulah kat husband dia dulu. And if he really loves the wife, he should not have asked another woman to go on the boating party. Giler ke apa tu??

Saje Sebok.

IBU said...

Better nip it in the bud.

Snip! Snip!

Superwomanwannabe said...

Hi Mrs N

I think the guy likes her company, and the girl likes his company, and if they were not married something would be going on but they are so they say its harmless and they are friends. the truth is if she values the wonderful husband she has she should really, really,, really, STOP. Now.

And im telling the girl to do it as we are normally stronger than the man.

(Although I think we should tell the wife!)

MrsNordin said...


I think so too lah, we should tell the wife!! Tapi, for all we know, the wife tak kisah. How like that?!