Sunday, October 05, 2008

Post-Raya Posting

Hi again! It’s the 6th day of raya already. My God… how time flies! I only managed to check my blog today. Read all your comments on my previous posting. All I can say is “Thank you” for your kind words and encouragement. This year’s raya is not that bad after all, you know… :)

I see there are several new readers making their appearances on my comment box. Thank you. I’m glad to know that you enjoy my stories.

Now, back to my cerita raya.

After I wrote that last piece and read some of your comments, I was telling myself, “There’s nothing much that I can do about this balik kampong for raya…so, why don’t I make the best of what I have?” With that in mind, I decided to just enjoy every minute of it and don’t complain too much. And that’s what I did. And you know what? It felt so much better than the previous rayas.

As usual, malam raya was spent at my MIL’s place. I stayed until late and waited until my MIL siap masak ketupat when usually, I would balik rumah dulu sebab tak larat nak tunggu dia (pukul 10 malam baru nak masukkan beras dalam ketupat, siapa larat tunggu?!) But this year, I persevered. Thankfully, my MIL also started early on her ketupat. So everyone went home happily just after midnight.

Back at home, MrNordin stayed up to cook his rendang ayam. I slept, but woke up early on raya morning to cook my ayam masak merah. Both turned out well (last year, I tak masak apa pun). Went to my MIL’s house after sembahyang raya, we spent the whole morning eating and ambil gambar.

In the afternoon, pegi ziarah kubur ~ MrNordin’s late wife, late MIL and late FIL. MrsN #1 is buried next to her father in Jln Ampang while her mother is laid to rest in Bukit Kiara. She passed away last year (a very nice lady), so this year, we have one more kubur to ziarah. After kubur, usually we would visit MrsN #1’s sister’s family, but this year, she’s celebrating it with her daughter in Melbourne. So, there’s one less house to visit this year.

We spent the rest of the afternoon at my MIL’s house again before saying goodbye at 5pm. Balik rumah, pack barang, dropped Seri at her auntie’s house, and we left for Ipoh at 7pm. Reached my mum’s house at 10pm. It wasn’t too bad. My parents were happy to see us. We went out again for McDonald’s that night because my mum’s kitchen has run out of food. Finally slept at close to midnight. Really tiring…

The next day, we went back to my kampong in Parit. This was my maternal grandparents’ house (both have passed away, unfortunately). My mum’s youngest sister lives in that house now. All my uncles and aunties came back this raya, so it was nice to see all of them again.

I'm sure some of you are wondering how are my stepchildren's reactions towards this balik kampong business. Well, all I can say is they are taking it very well. This raya, especially, they are such sweethearts. Usually, one or two would show their long faces whenever we all balik kampong but surprisingly this year, they are very accommodating. I didn't hear any complaint or silent protest.

And this year too, they didn’t seemed awkward sitting there in the living room of my opah’s house, surrounded by my uncles, aunties and many cousins. They seemed relaxed and I was so happy to see them behaving that way. We are talking about these 3 city kids sitting there in a rumah kampong, ok? They stood out in the crowd like a sore thumb! Seumur hidup diaorang, tak pernah masuk kampong – all their aunties and uncles duduk rumah batu in the cities ~ but their stepmum here grew up in a rumah kampong. What to do… kena belajar lah tentang penghidupan orang lain.

Was I nervous? Honestly, I was a bit apprehensive the first time I brought them home to my kampong (this was in 2005) ~ afraid that they wouldn’t know how to behave and they would look down on my relatives. Fact is, these kids have spent all their lives in KL. Their kampung is KL and they’ve never set foot in a real kampong house before this. Who wouldn't be nervous?

But they did me proud the first time around. They seemed uncomfortable at first (of course, that’s understandable), but they didn’t do anything that would embarrass either me or their father. For that, I was very thankful. This time around tho', I had nothing to worry about. They just knew what to do.

Sometimes, these kids surprise me in many ways, when I least expected it. That’s why I kept on saying they are good children…

As for MrNordin, he was as sweet as ever. "Sentiasa menurut perintah" (as he likes to tease me..) I didn't cry that much either when I kissed his hands that raya morning. I told him maybe I tak banyak sangat dosa with you this year. But truth is, the fact that I decided to take things positively this raya do make a lot of difference towards how I feel this raya. No resentment, no heartache, no anger. Just happiness. And I like this feeling..

Here are our raya pictures. Hope you can post yours too. Cheers!


In my MIL's garden



In my MIL's living room, with some of my BIL's children

"Sorry, Baba... I always kicked you out of bed.."

" Selamat Hari Raya from Mr & MrsNordin

33 comments:

Royalshoppingarcade said...

salam raya Mrs Nordin,

I notice that if I react and act negatively, my children would follow my vibes.If I am happy, give them the love and attention that they need and be more understanding, they'll return my favour 3 fold.I guess you taking a positive mindset has made this raya a very very happy one. Glad to hear that things went well and you know la raya, easy aje nak short circuit sini sana...

Madam Tai Tai said...

Hi BJ,

Selamat Hari Raya!! Good to have you back in the blogsphere again.

The girls' silk kain sari baju kurung turned out so cantik lah. Maybe I should start making some more before I leave Dhaka ni. I've only turned one cotton sari into baju kurung.

Nordin and you looked very handsome and elegant, respectively in their orange (?) attire. Mcm pengantin baru lak! :)

Anyway, glad you enjoyed your raya and changed your perspective about the whole thing. Good positive thinking, MrsN.

wanshana said...

BJ,

Glad you took a positive attitude and took everything in your stride, and it shows in the photo. You look lovely, and so does the family.

A very nice raya pic :)

Nice bajus.

busymum100 said...

I'm glad you had a good Raya stint :-)

I tried my best not to lose my temper too, nor to nag. It was ok lah.. except when dekat2 nk balik hostel tu, budak2 ni relax sgt, kita yg panic takut tertinggal barang.

AS for the 3 bigger kids, give them more time, before you know it, all of you are just ONE happy family! Nobody would know or care abt the "tiri" thingy.

Anonymous said...

Hi BJ,

I too just got back from my MIL's (where i've been for the last week or so)... u know what? the horrors of horrors happened, the tailor who i sent my bajus to (not my usual one *slaps head*) botched everything so I had to pakai whatever I have. grrrrrrr

For me making the kids happy makes me happy but then sometimes u must make urself happy jugak kan? so there was a few tears when most of the time I had to give in to my MIL's "demands" of her elder son cos her younger son(as usual) is flying about the world.

But u did good dear... siap masak lagi... I lama dah surrender tak nak masak in my MIL's kitchen ehehhehe (cos I raya there, kalau raya rumah sendiri lain cerita kot)

Aida - kekadang tension jugak like u ehhehehe

MrsNordin said...

Hi Royalshoppingarcade,

Perhaps what you said is true. If we are happy, the good vibes will follow those around you. Maybe that's what happened to me this raya and I'm glad I changed my mind about the whole thing.

Hope you've had a good raya too. Will read your blog later!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Gina!

Selamat Hari Raya in return! The kain you gave them turned out really nice into their baju kurung. And they loved it too! Sibuk nak tukar2 colour the next time they'll wear it again (both are of the same size and pattern). Thanks again, you're so generous.

I haven't got time to read your blog yet. Will do so after this. Hope you've had a good one too. Cheers!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Shana,

I hope you've had a good raya too. Will visit your blog after this for updates. Baru hari ni sempat nak duduk depan PC ni. Esok I'm still on leave, so bolehlah curi2 tengok friends' blog.

Thanks for your well wishes. I'm sure glad I took everything positively!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Busymum,

Masa dekat2 raya ni, memang selalu temper je kat orang tersayang. Apasal ya? My previous rayas were always disturbed by my constant nagging and screaming at husband, but this time, no... just smiles. I hope he noticed the difference!

Will visit your blog later for updates. Take care!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Aida,

Sorry to hear about your baju. This happened to me on my first raya as a family. Habis all my baju and the girls' baju ~ semua tak siap and buruk. Geram betul! But I managed to buy something off the rack, though.... :)

Hubby still around? Hope you've had a great raya with him and the children. Cheers!

Superwomanwannabe said...

hahaha..glad that you had a good time, j...after all the "emo" I invested earlier, heheheh. Selamat Hari Raya darlink!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Shila,

I value your comments earlier. And sorry he delayed the balik Rembau episode. Men are like that lah (not all maybe, but mostly)

But this year, i felt macam MrN pulak yang nak cepat2 bertolak balik ke Ipoh. I was the one who was taking my time. Nak balik KL semula pun macam tu. I suppose, once I changed my attitude, everything else also changed, huh?

I'll read your blog after this. Still on leave today. Hope your tonsil has cleared. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi BJ!

Selamat Hari Raya to you and your family.. Maaf Zahir Batin!

Glad you had a good raya despite your earlier posting. I like your positive mindset, make the best out of everything and things will turn out GREAT!!

Love,
Mimi

Ezza Aziz said...

selamat hari raya,
cantik la baju baju you all sumua. Anak dara you mau pulak pakai kaler sama!! Hai Nizzar,banyak dapat duit raya ke? MrN pandai merendang ker..ini dah kira hebat you! Saya kat sini baru lepas makan ubat..rasa berpusing2 jer dunia ni..darah tinggi naik kot!!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Mimi,

Thanks! Selamat Hari Raya to you too. Heard about the accident before raya. Hope you are feeling better already. Take care!

MrsNordin said...

Hi Ezza,

Suami I memang lagi terror masak dari I. Bab2 merendang ni, tiap-tiap tahun dia akan buat.

Apasal pening pulak tu? I think must be the darah tinggi. Banyak sangat makan lemang & rendang ni... Take care!

myheartbleeds said...

Am glad you had a jolly raya!! yeay!! Love everyone's baju raya -- so colourful. The men look dashing in their baju Melayu Johor; colourful baju & kain samping with black pants -- macam Sultan Johor!! ;-)

ms hart said...

MrsN, glad you had a wonderful time this Raya. I can imagine how 'free' you were feeling without all those negative thoughts! Wonderful! You truly deserve this, MrsN!

tireless mom said...

Hi BJ

That is the spirit girl. Make the best of it. Happy that you enjoyed your raya. Just bury the ill feelings lah. Insha Allah all will be okay. The girls look gorgeous. You too, memang sepadan and sedondon with MrN.

puteri kama at-tarawis said...

All I can say, Mrs N is.. lovely kids, lovely family. you are one hell of a woman, wife and mother... may God's blessings be upon you forever.

MrsNordin said...

Myheartbleeds,

Thank you! Thank you! MrNordin memang suka pakai baju melayu style Johor gitu...

MrsNordin said...

Ms Hart,

Thanks. Sure... it was such a relief and happier occasion for me. You did have a great time too, I read from your blog. And rajinnya you masak banyak2 gitu... Hooyoo... I can never cook like you did! Well done!

MrsNordin said...

Tireless Mom,

It was YOUR comment that prompted me to have that change of attitude. Thanks again! It sure worked wonders!

MrsNordin said...

Puteri,

Thanks for your well wishes. Hope we can meet one of these days.

Kmar said...

BJ,

Good to know that all of you had a good celebration of Hari Raya.

I bet your ´children´ are growing older and they can see things from a different perspective. You have done a good job!!

The photos are very nice!

We celebrated on the 30th Sept. Nothing special. Kids at school, hubby at work. I went to see a friend.. makan rendang. We made ´barbecue open-house´ last Saturday. Penatnya but very very happy. Simple celebration.

MrsNordin said...

Hi Kmar,

I'm sure you miss raya in Ipoh. I suppose when you are abroad, the feelings are different, kan? Raya is just like any other day..

At least you managed to eat your rendang. That's a consolation. Take care and thanks for dropping by!

MA & Brood said...

The pic where Nizzar minta ampun kat Baba for kicking him just cracks me up!


Glad to hear you enjoyed your Raya break.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs N,

I'm glad that you had a good raya. I think it's good of you to change your mindset, more than i can say for myself..I pernah dengar sorang ustaz cakap kat tv, time raya2, lebih elok kalau mendahulukan parents or in laws yg tinggal sorang, meaning yg dah kematian spouse.

Your children are well mannered kan, they are happy to ikut you balik ipoh. one of my hubby's nephew tak ikut pun mak dia balik raya kat kg, sebab nak raya dgn kengkawan. One of my SIL's has stepdaughters (she married a divorcee but she's not the reason of the divorce!), dulu2 masa raya, the husband and kids just came for the day, tinggallah my SIL with her own kids for a few days kat kg.I feel,no matter what or where, we must celebrate raya together as a family. I don't think your parents would be very happy if you balik dgn Nizar je.

I pun ada drama sikit dgn husband, sebab kecik je, tapi mungkin sebab i resent dah lama tak balik penang for raya, since my mom passed away. so this raya haji InsyaAllah balik penang, my hubby pun actually dah tak ada parents, dulu when my mom was still around, usually malam raya and first day kat penanglah.

Eh, sorilah, have taken too much space..

Busybody

MrsNordin said...

Ma,

That's a good one, kan? Hee.. hee..!

MrsNordin said...

Busybody,

You always have good stories to tell and thanks for sharing them.

I'm sorry to hear about your SIL. Ya lah... I'm sure kalau I balik sendiri2 dengan Nizzar, my parents wouldn't like it either. And I shouldn't set the trend of raya separately. Raya must be spent together as a family. I'm glad I didn't do it.

I hope you've gotten over your unhappiness sebab tak dapat balik Penang. Like you said, raya haji nanti balik lah... beraya sakan lah kat sana!!

Have a nice day!

Fadzila said...

positive thinking is good kan..? moga pengorbanan diberi ganjaran oleh Allah..when we start redho..everything will become nice and good...take care...

MrsNordin said...

Hi Fadzila,

Thanks for dropping by. Yes, positive thinking is good. I should do that more often instead of complaining saja..

Have a nice day & hope you've had a good raya too!

Anonymous said...

BJ
This year was my turn raya in KL. Biasalah kalau raya dekat KL only 1.5 days, second raya tu dah tak sabar2 lagi nak balik. My first day raya was with my parents, then we went to my grandmother's place till lunch time. After that, visiting my hubby's uncles and aunties. So, what is the difference raya dekat KL when you ended up visiting the other half families. Balik kampung pun sama jugak. Redha ajerlah,
Dada