Daulat Tuanku
It's pretty late now, almost 1.45 am. I just finished watching La Vie En Rose. MrNordin & the little boy have gone to sleep. The kids and the maid are still watching DVD. I could hear them laughing downstairs.
MrNordin came back at about 7pm today; I picked him up from his office. I didn't ask him how he got back...
You know what? I think I dah kena timpa daulat MrNordin. Just now, as I was reversing his car to fetch him, I accidentally knocked on the front gate and damaged his car bumper. Oh my... jinx or what?? I was terrified! I think it's true what my mother said, "Jangan selalu marah si Nordin tu... nanti kena timpa daulat suami...". Haa.. kan dah kena?
Somehow I felt that something bad was bound to happen today. I baked a cake and it got burnt. This has never happened before. From then on, I was very nervous and expecting something unpleasant to rear its ugly head. I thought it would be in the dinner I cooked today, but my nasi tomato & ayam masak merah turned out well (I tried a new recipe). Tunggu, tunggu lagi... nothing. Rupa2nya, it's the car.
So, nak marah cik abang pun tak boleh sebab the accident was an even bigger offense. Thus, R's car became a non-issue coz I had my husband's dented car to worry about!!
The moment he got into the car, I broke down. Felt really bad about breaking his car bumper. He was calm (tho' I knew deep down he was going "S*it!!!" ). I told him I'll pay for the damage coz it was my fault.
So, lesson learnt ~ jangan marah suami tak tentu pasal sebab kemungkinan buruk padah nya...
Take it from me, coz that was not my first time. :)
MrNordin came back at about 7pm today; I picked him up from his office. I didn't ask him how he got back...
You know what? I think I dah kena timpa daulat MrNordin. Just now, as I was reversing his car to fetch him, I accidentally knocked on the front gate and damaged his car bumper. Oh my... jinx or what?? I was terrified! I think it's true what my mother said, "Jangan selalu marah si Nordin tu... nanti kena timpa daulat suami...". Haa.. kan dah kena?
Somehow I felt that something bad was bound to happen today. I baked a cake and it got burnt. This has never happened before. From then on, I was very nervous and expecting something unpleasant to rear its ugly head. I thought it would be in the dinner I cooked today, but my nasi tomato & ayam masak merah turned out well (I tried a new recipe). Tunggu, tunggu lagi... nothing. Rupa2nya, it's the car.
So, nak marah cik abang pun tak boleh sebab the accident was an even bigger offense. Thus, R's car became a non-issue coz I had my husband's dented car to worry about!!
The moment he got into the car, I broke down. Felt really bad about breaking his car bumper. He was calm (tho' I knew deep down he was going "S*it!!!" ). I told him I'll pay for the damage coz it was my fault.
So, lesson learnt ~ jangan marah suami tak tentu pasal sebab kemungkinan buruk padah nya...
Take it from me, coz that was not my first time. :)
Comments
read the posting on Friday but decided not to say anything eventhough you told me to do so. Decided that the best thing to do was to wait and give it a few more days.
See... things are not so bad after all. most of the fears are in the mind and at the end of the day it's no big deal.
We all do silly things without thinking but that doesn't mean that we don't care. Just remember one thing, despite all that we are and all that we can be, husbands do not read minds. So don't presume we know how you feel. Tell us and maybe we'll take note....
So you think I should tell him about how I felt? I don't think he's aware of what I've written last Friday. I malas nak broach the subject, hoping that he'll get the message once he reads my blog.
But just this afternoon, he was telling an acquaintance about his driving experience in that lady's car. It was not the X5, it was a new BMW 3xx ~ 2-door?. He said it was superb. I didn't say a word.
A 2-door car? Do I still have a valid reason to raise this issue?
I read your previous blog tapi tak sempat nak comment sebab ada guests for the last 2 weeks. Cemburu tu biasalah especially in relationship. Jangan jadi ´cemburu buta´.. sudah. It should be a reminder, itu penting.
It is very important to be honest and open with your hubby. Kalau banyak simpan rahsia, nanti makan diri.. itu yang boleh create situation ´risau tak menentu´. Kalau buat salah, admit ... bak kata pepatah.. ´buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih´... betul tak?
Ya lah... I'll be honest and tell him the truth this evening when I see him. I bukan nya suka sangat nak memendam perasaan ni, but if I'm being truthful, surely he'll say I'm such nag (sebab banyak sgt yang tak puas hati). That's why some things kena simpan dulu, to let it cool down. Nasib baik ada blog! Hee.. hee...
Thanks for your sound advice. I really appreciate it.
Oh my, I really didn't expect all these suspicions and comments arising out of my company's team building event in PD last weekend. SO let me clarify several important points (looks like I have to skip lunch today) here before all of you start throwing bricks (if you see me in person that is) at me for causing Mrs N to be upset:
No.1 - The lady is not the MD (cause the MD is given a car and driver), she is my company's Finance Director and Chief Financial Officer (CFO in short). She was my colleague at work for 18years in my previous company and was responsible for recommending me to this new new job (both facts known to Mrs N).
No.2 - Mrs N had met her several times, first time was at her Raya Open House (kids, hubby et all) and the most recent one was at the Java Jazz festival in Jakarta when we both flew in the same aircraft (to Jkt and back to KL) with her husband.
No.3 - For the Company's team building trip to PD over the weekend, all staff (incl. yours truly) was to board the coach (kan team building so all senior and junior staff kena mixed laaa...), only the Directors are allowed to drive their cars because they may have to leave the offcie later or leave PD early for meetings.
No.4 - I had no problem with the coach except for the followings :
(a) Coach leaves at 4.30pm sharp from the office and I have loads of work to complete before that.
(b) Coach will not stop for smokers like me to have a puff or two on the way to PD.
(c) Believe or not, but I suffer from travel sickness when travelling on land and sea (kena makan Po Chitt pill) UNLESS I sit on front passenger seat or I drive the car myself. I dont know if any of you have this anomaly with your bodily function but its no fun okay!
No.5 - With these facts, I had packed several Po Chitt sachets in my bag, and remind myself to take it before I board the coach. At the same time, I was frantically asking around for a ride with any of the directors going there. Unfortunately 2 of them will be driving from JB to PD, so thats out and the CFO was the only one driving from KL. I requested for a seat (only if the front passenger seat is available that is... remember my travel sickness bit..) but her car was already full - herself, 1 male and 2 female colleagues plus the driver. Bcos her 4-wheel drive was at the workshop, she had to use her hubby 2 door car (it was quite a tight squeeze). So in my last ditch attempt to avoid boarding the coach, I had asked her whether she wld allow me to drive her car instead of the driver. She agreed only if the driver is okay taking the coach instead. He agreed.... phew....
No.6 - Her husband was very particular about his car (it was a new BMW coupe 3.3 CL) and he was happy to let me drive it bcos I too drive a Bimmer albeit an old banged-up (I think you all know abt this bit) family car.
No.7 - So the seating arrangement for these 5 individuals of various sizes and genders squeezed into the 2 doors car was as follows:
KL-PD / PD-KL
Me (Mr N) - Driver.
Male colleague (due to size and gender) - Front passenger seat.
CFO & 2 Female colleagues - squeezed at the back passenger seats.
By the way, for the PD-KL return trip - Mrs N best friend's hubby was seated uncomfortably (with CFO and another female colleague) at the back seats when it turned out that the other female colleague has a bigger frame and size then him.
No.8 - We did stop at the Seremban R&R for coffee and smoke on the way to PD because besides myself, the CFO and the other male colleague also smoke and also the other needed coffee.
No.8 - A few cheeky queries if one is thinking about it is - the CFO's room was NOT next to mine in PD (both different floors) NOR were we grouped in the same team during the various team building events.
So thats my side of this rather unfortunate misunderstanding.. its past 2pm and I have to rush off to an outside meeting now. I let you all be the judge of the conduct and behaviour of this allegedly "wayward" Mr N. If anyone is to blame it would be me not the CFO for her guilt (if any) was to accept my request to drive her car.
For Mrs N, I do not know what to say.... maybe a little trust would do .. perhaps not all the time but some time would do for me.
Whatever it is Mrs N, I love ya and don't you ever forget that!
Mr N
Next time, just take your car. There's no need to berhimpit in other people's car if you need to go somewhere. (But, if I'm not mistaken, you said there were only 3 of you in the car going to PD, how come now got 5 pulak? Mana satu yang betul ni??)
I'm not jealous, it's just that I think it's not proper seeing you all squeezed in there, girls & boys. Kalau setakat pegi Tupai2 je ke, tak pe lah... Ini sampai ke PD. Nasib baik tak ke JB!!
Next time, you drive YOUR car. If they want to hitch a ride, go ahead (but make sure no woman sits on my chair!). You don't like driving? Take a flight or go with another guy. If both options are not acceptable, then don't go!
This has nothing to do with trust. If I didn't trust you, I would have driven down to PD on Friday night itself. But did I? If I didn't trust you, I would have called you every other hour when you were there. But did I? I didn't, right? I never do that, and you know that better than anyone else.
All I'm asking is for you to think sometimes, how your actions would affect your wife. I don't need to spell them out, but you should know these things coz you were not married yesterday.
Don't take it for granted that I wouldn't mind these things. I may be "cooler" than other wives (as Shila said), but not all the time. Main thing, you must know where to draw the line.
Thanks for taking time to clarify these things. Sorry you had to miss your lunch. I love you too... and look forward to seeing you later for coffee & shopping!!!
I've been married to the same guy for almost 30 yrs now (27th anniversary this year), and I used to trust him. He too most of the time didn't have the intention to flirt, and made it known to his female colleagues that he's a happily married man with 6 kids. But somehow, some ladies see this as a sign of a very responsible man(?) These ladies like stable and secure man, as compared to the younger ones :(
Anyway, I can understand Mrs N's concern, esp with the little "rascal/pengganas" at home who still needs attention and a strong and stable family unit.
As for me, now I refuse to be bothered with all those worries. I've gone through MrsN's phase of uneasiness, insecurity, jealosuy - all for valid reasons. I'm over all those (I'm not saying that I trust my DH 100%, though).
i've seen too many of my friends being lead down by their husbands, that if it happens to me, I won't be alone? ;)
At my age now, and with the kids much bigger now, I really don't give a damn if he wants to cheat on me. Sad maybe, but I am not going to ruin my days worrying and indulge in self-pity. Life has to go on! If it is fated that I will lose him one day (and most probably to a much younger lass :( ), then be it. I think I've done my best to protect my family, but men being men (read: weak when it comes to younger and attractive women), what can we women say?
If all the sacrifices that we (women) have made for our familes are not enough, I don't know what else we should do..
Ah... sorry, I become too emotional... :(
But I hope DH and I can grow old together....
susah juga kes kalau lelaki in denial mode, and wants to remain young - imagine them getting married again, and at the age og 55 or 60 dok hantar anak gi tadika?
If at this age your DH is thinking of courting a young jelitawan, dia memang nak cari pasal!!
What is it with men, ya? Sometimes I wish women are allowed to have more than one husband. Imagine we go out with young hunks like Hans Isaac, and our husbands stay home waiting for us! Hee.. hee... then they'll know what sakit hati means!
Anyway, I don't think that'll ever happen to you, busymum. Your DH seems like a good guy. Just follow him around in all his travels and photo taking sessions, and you won't have difficulty tracking him down!!
(I want to grow old like you two..)
You ni kan, always side MrN. When I asked him last night, what do you think of my post and comments? He said, "Ya lah... like one of the comments made ... there must be a valid explanation for this..." He was talking about your comment lah!
If only all the women in the world look at things your way, I'm sure there'll be world peace at last.
But it's good that you look at things in a different perspective. It gives me room to think more rationally.
Btw, what are your plans for your 16th anniversary?
He he bukan choose side..but rest assured if we had to go to court, of course I will testify on your behalf..:-)
Anyway, like I said, we responded based on our own experience, tak kiralah duduk in the west or in the east. My experience with my husband had always been good. My first boyfriend was a jerk and cheated on me left and right.The next guy yang I almost married was the opposite, very nice and gentlemanly (and he went back to m'sia before me - so we broke up, takde jodohlah tu). So he restored my faith in men(ewah). And of course, there is my husband, who has never given me any reasons to be doubtful. Jealous jealous tu adalah jugak, but bertempatlah rasanya.
16th anniversary - don't know yet - we are not big about planning these things...