Friday, April 25, 2008

Bonda

"Nadira, is it Ibu Anda or Mak Anda?" Nadim asked his sister.

"Ibunda lah... mana ada Ibu Anda or Mak Anda!" exclaimed Nadira.

"Or, Bonda" I heard someone said.

"Bonda? Hmm.. quite cool, huh?" said Nadim.

Then, I heard him calling out to me, "Bonda, sila kan masuk!" (I was just coming into the house after relaxing on the buaian depan rumah).

I smiled. I thought it was funny, but at the same time, it sounded quite nice.

"Why don't you call me Bonda?" I suggested. "I think it's nice, sounds very royal."

"Ya lah, very royal!" said Nadim.

So last night, that young man kept on calling me~ Bonda.

(Nadim used to call me Mummy, but recently, he changed it to Aunty Yati. I never asked why. Maybe he thought it's not cool anymore to call me Mummy now the he's somewhat "older" ~ turning 14 this Oct.)

Nadira wasn't very convinced. She thought it's a bit weird to call me "Bonda".

(She calls me Aunty Yati from Day 1).

Nabila ~ she gave no opinion on this.

(She used to call me Aunty Yati before, but since Mother's Day last year, she started calling me Mummy. I was so touched by her gesture.)

So now I have one child calling me Mummy, one ~ Aunty Yati, one ~ Bonda (but don't know how long this is gonna last..) and one ~ Mama.

The little one calls me Mama tho' I'm trying very hard to make him call me Mummy. I know he could say the word very clearly but he just refused to say "Mummy". If he could say "Daddy" and "Baby" very well, what makes you think he cannot say "Mummy", right?

But everytime I told him to repeat after me ~ "Mum..my", he would instead say, "Ma Ma !".

"Mum.. my!", "Ma Ma!"

Very stubborn, that boy... :)

15 comments:

Kak Teh said...

mrs. N. This is so sweet. No matter what they call you, it shows their acceptance of you. and that is important.
I have a friend whose children from day one called her by her name - not ibu not mama. and yet the respect is there, so is the relationship between mother and child.
by the way, i do have someone, not my child, who calls me bonda...hahah! so the funny one! And I have one until today who calls me Ibu - another one calls me mamaZ. That is the prize of being a mother to many away from home, i guess.

Kak Teh said...

sorry - it shd be - "that is the price..." but on second thoughts - it can be prize orso what!

sorry am hogging yr comment box.

Madam Tai Tai said...

MrsN,

Don't forget you have a godson who calls you Auntie BJ. So add that one to your variety of mumsy names.

But whatever names they call you all your children love you very much and they know they are receiving the same affection from you.

Of course the older three will still love and remember their late mum in fondness, but remember you are the mum that they are going to model their adulthood on. You are the mum who they will ask to bless their marriages. And you are the grandma who they would want to cradle their firstborns.

Apa-apa nama pun they call you tak pe la.. Just look forward to the moments I've mentioned here.

I think you are one terrific mum to all the four children.

All The Cars In The World said...

Very funny!... wicked!

busymum100 said...

A rose by any name would smell just as sweet, hence the same goes to mums all over the world :-)
I have my students in UiTM (The a-level programme) who still call me "teacher" ;-)
And I have an x-student from my SMT days who's married to my neighbour's daughter who still calls be Cikgu while his wife call me "Kak Yah" LOL!
And a few UNISEL students who call me Mak, and Mama.

Bonda? i think that's sweet.
But then again, Aunt Yati is fine. It's what they think of you and how they see you that is more important.

Despite haven't met you, I think you've made a great "intant mum" to them ;-)

As for Nadim, why must he be shy to continue calling you Mummy? He's your muhrim, you know!

Superwomanwannabe said...

Aww madamtaitai comment brought a lump to the throat...

ppl, mrs nordin here is the best instant mommy around and puts other mommies to shame the way she is so dedicated and diligent about the raising of her daughters and sons- I tabik toing toing also because she is not scared to implement discipline and rules etc and refused to pamper them mindlessly just to win their approval. I think she is wonderful and I think the kids know how lucky they are. And I will let Mr N know also if he forgets.

Kids , yr auntie yati/bonda/mummy/mama etc., deserves as much respect as your late mum and dont treat her any less.
:-)

Fan of MrsN

MrsNordin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MrsNordin said...

Hi Madam,

Thanks for your encouraging words. Not only Haris, SW's kids also call me Aunty BJ!

Actually, it doesn't really matter. But look at it this way, ok. I know I'm not their mum. Just like how my MIL is NOT my mother. But I still call her "Mak". And why is that?

Think about that.

MrsNordin said...

All Cars,

You think so? Thanks for dropping by :)

MrsNordin said...

Busymum,

It's good that you clarify about the muhrim part. Are you sure about that?

Nadim always avoid touching me everytime after dia ambil air sembahyang sebab takut terbatal (I tak tau sangat hukum nya, so I relented). But my FIL said, tak batal air sembahyang sebab dah kira muhrim.

Is there anywhere I can read about this?

I tak kisah lah they all nak panggil I Aunty Yati. I have the little one calling me Mama and the eldest one calling me Mummy, that's enough already...

MrsNordin said...

SW,

I'm in tears reading your comment!

It's nice to know there are people who appreciate what I've done and what I've gotten myself into. I'm just being myself, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

I regard them as my own children. I treat Nizzar the same as I treat them (maybe more careful with them because itu anak orang, kan?) But so far, it has been a good experience. Nanti I'll do a posting on this. I'm delaying it coz it seems a bit "heavy" to write. Nanti lah... when the mood strikes!

MrsNordin said...

Kak Teh,

I've never imposed on them as to what they want to call me. "Whatever you're comfortable with..", that's always been my policy. But secretly, I'd like to be known as Mummy.

There's a difference when you hear someone calls you "Aunty" or "Mummy/Mak/Mama". The latter sounds more personal and "closer", whereas the former makes the person seems like a "stranger" in the house.

I don't know... maybe it's just me being melancholic on this wet Monday morning...

Superwomanwannabe said...

J...

dah lah ...dah cukup dan dah sampai masanye...auntie Yati jadi mummy or mak. Tell them how much it means to you. Nanti lagi lama lagi tak leh lekat. I know its just a gelaran but it is also a sign of respect....macam you kata lah, imagine if I call my MIL "Auntie Rodiah"

hehe he I can just imagine that..Sure horrors !!

So abt time you have a heart to heart talk, tellthem you love them etc..and sooo akan terharu if they can show that they accept you , after FOUR YEARS OF MARRIAGE and ONE PAINFUL DELIVERY and A LOT OF HEARTACHE dealing with their teenage angst thingy way way before you are supposed to - That they should now call you Mummy-or "MOM". (kalau nak cool lah)

or else you can just say.."I can't heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar youuuuuu" when they call you Auntie - ....hehehehehhehe

At the end of the day- only you know when to do what you want to do...

MrsNordin said...

SW,

That's kinda tricky, you know? I don't want to force them doing something they're not comfortable with.

But sometimes, ada juga "outside influence" yang encourage/discourage them to do something. And this, I don't like, and I've stressed this to them many times before ~ "You are accountable for your own doing and answerable to only me and Baba. No one else should influence your decision or action, but us!"

Being children, bila orang lain gertak sikit, they all panic lah, kan, and just follow what the orang lain said. I hope they'll grow up soon and realise that their life should not be dictated by other people outside their own family!

Madam Tai Tai said...

BJ, hear..hear..

Perhaps Baba dia orang yg should have a talk.

MrNordin, if you are reading it's about time to have that conversation with the kids.