Tuesday, June 16, 2009

He drives me crazy

I have a problem. My little Ultraman always want to buy something new whenever we go out to the shops.

Since he can now form sentences, he has been pestering me to go to the shop every day and buy something for him.

Mummy, jom pegi Speedy!

Mummy, jom pegi kedai!

Mummy, nak pegi situ!

Mummy, nak pegi sini!

And he knows what to get at each place we visited. If at GE Mall, he'd run to Speedy without anyone's help and pick-up an Ultraman toy. If at the mamak shop near our house, he'd hover near the toy area. If we passed by Ampang Point, he'd say, "Baby nak pegi sana. Nak beli Ultraman!" Nampak KLCC, nak pegi KLCC because he knows there's a toy shop there!

Aiyoo... pening!

When I told him, "Mummy tak ada duit!", he would answer, "Ada!"and he'd korek the coin box in my car or my purse for loose change. "Haa... ni duit ada!". 10 sen. Tak boleh beli apa, Nizzar.

His definition of "duit" is just the loose coins. He still doesn't know that the red and blue paper notes are also money. Thank God for that!

Now, I try to avoid all possible areas yang ada jual Ultraman. But it's hard because even Petronas stations pun sekarang dah ada jual Ultraman!

What should I do? How should I handle this situation?

I cannot reason with him because he still don't undertand reasoning. I can trade the Ultraman for something else, but later, he'd ask for it again and again, tak berhenti2 sampai I naik rimas and in the end, I'd buy the thing to make him keep quiet.

I can't possibly be doing this everytime he pulls a stunt like that. How should I make him stop? Alternatively, how should I stop giving in to his requests? He's driving me crazy!

26 comments:

busymum100 said...

MrsN,

Dah lama takde anak kecik, lupa lah how i handled such situation!

Tapi rasanya I used to tell the kids (then) bila depa minta apa2, that we can only buy a new toy/stuff "bila mama dapat gaji". Bila depa kata duit ada, i told them, duit tu nk buat beli lauk, susu, yoghurt, dan apa2 yg penting lah.

I remember my kids look forward to "bila mama gaji", in fact bila tersilap cerita pasal pay day with DH depan depa, tiba2 adalah yg excited "yeh, yeh, dah dapat gaji!". Kekadang tu selalu dok tanya "bila mama gaji?", "mama dah gaji ke?" dan soalan2 yg sejenis dgnnya.

Good luck.

MrsNordin said...

Busymum,

Err... I don't think he understands the "gaji" part yet.

Nowadays, if he caught me getting ready to go to work, he would scream, "Mummy! Tak payah pegi ofis lah!"

And when I said, "Mummy kena pegi ofis.. nanti dapt duit boleh beli Ultraman..", he would go, "Tak payahlah... Ultraman dah ada banyak kat rumah!"

How like that?

nj said...

sis ...
lama tak komen...baca selalu...komen tak..heheee..

my practice is that I would bring along the toys yg ada dah. Kalau Ultraman, bawakla ultraman yang kecil...kalau tak the car will become a toy 'box' pulak.. My 4-yr old was like that too...so we'd carry his car miniature in his bag..along with his dinosours too...so everytime we pass any mall or shop...we'd say..."oh adik ada banyak dah toys...cuba tengok dalam beg tu..."
It works well on us...tak pasti Nizzar mcmana...boleh 'beli' tak idea tu...
All the best dear!

busymum100 said...

MrsN,

Then you need to tell Nizzar mummy kena pergi kerja to get money/gaji. Otherwise, kena guna tektik nj, bawa toys whenever both of you go out!

But at that age mmg la.. I remember buying pokemon every week! At one stage there were over 130 pokemons in the house, nasib baik distributed among 3 kids. think kalau anak sorg pun, the quantum would still be the same! Sampai laa ni pun, i can still remember some of the pokemon names! no, not just pikachu, raichu, charizard, but many2 more...

busymum100 said...

MrsN,

Then you need to tell Nizzar mummy kena pergi kerja to get money/gaji. Otherwise, kena guna tektik nj, bawa toys whenever both of you go out!

But at that age mmg la.. I remember buying pokemon every week! Org kedai tu pun dah kenal i! At one stage there were over 130 pokemons in the house, nasib baik distributed among 3 kids. think kalau anak sorg pun, the quantum would still be the same! Sampai laa ni pun, i can still remember some of the pokemon names! no, not just pikachu, raichu, charizard, but many2 more...

IBU said...

Share with me the solution when you found one, ya?

p/s remember tak my Ameer, nak pencil tekan, duit circle2... oh...sayu nya!!!!

VersedAnggerik said...

when hilman was younger, he was exactly like that. Even throwing tantrums in supermarkets!

I, being the mean mom, will just walk away and stay away till he calm down himself. After a few episodes of crying himself silly, he learns that the whining and tantrum tactic doesn't work on ole Mak.

he's 11 now and hardly asks for anything! a vast difference from his younger days....

Kmar said...

BJ,

We always ask the kids to bring their own old toys in the car. So, bila kat kedai, they don´t have any excuse to buy a new one sebab nanti kena bagi ´warning´.

Kalau nak beli yang baru, the one that they have in their hands will be given to other kids. Itu yang buat depa serba salah. Selalunya at the end, tak jadi beli.

Another thing, I selalu beli cheap toys in advance (beli kat pasar or kedai Cina) and simpan dalam kereta. If I need to ´ampu´ them, I don´t have to spend a lot of money buying toys immediately.

Good luck..

Anonymous said...

Dear BJ,

Zae pun sama dengan Eija, kalau ada solutionnya, jangan lupa share dengan kita orang.

Pernahlah masa bawa Danish ke Pasar Malam, dia grabbed toys then lari, Pak Cik yg jual tu sampai jerit-jerit, malu tak terkira masa tu sebab masa dia minta Zae buat tak tahu je. Nasib baik Pak Cik tu kata dia paham, masa Zae bayar for the toys.

Kids....Kids.... BJ, agaknya kita masa kecik dulu macam tu tak? Kuang, kuang, kuang......
Zae

tireless mom said...

Hi BJ

I bought lots of small and cheap toys kat Petaling Street and store them somewhere. So bila keluar and they asked for new purchases, would negotiate with them and pancing with the "new" toys. That is part of growing up. No worries.

MrsNordin said...

NJ,

I bring his toys along wherever we go. When I say, "Kan Ultraman dah ada banyak?", he'd answer, "Tak apa lah Mummy...". And I'll be torn.

But I can give this a try again, with more persistence and seriousness this time around. Thanks!

MrsNordin said...

Busymum,

Oh... you pun dah kena ya? Hee.. hee... And you still remember Pokemon names? Oh my... must be stressful but fun for you at that time!

Cheers!

MrsNordin said...

Ibu,

Yes! I remember your Ameer's pensil tekan2! Hee.. hee.... so cute! How can we not succumb to such requests?

MrsNordin said...

VersedAnggerik,

Part throwing tantrums at supermarkets tu belum lagi, but I think it'll come soon.

Now, all he does is just scream or nag if he wanted something. Sometimes I would ignore him, but then I'd get stares from people. That's when I give in, and that's very bad.

I think I should have more self control. Do you spank your kids in public? Is that an ok thing to do?

MrsNordin said...

Kmar,

Now, that's a good tip. Tell him, if he bought a new one, the old one will be given away. I shall try that trick. But I wonder if he had any sentimental attachment to any of his toys...

Thanks anyway! I'll give it a go.

MrsNordin said...

Zae,

I don't think we were like that when we were small. This is becoz our parents were not so lavish with giving toys & such to us at that time. Mana depa ada duit.

I remember I only had one doll when I was small. Kids these days, berpuluh2 even when they are only 5!

We tend to spoil our kids at such a young age, that's why they become like that. So in a way, it was my fault too that my Nizzar turn out to be like that. Now I have to do damage control and it'sot easy.

Sure I'll let you know if I found the miracle solution!

MrsNordin said...

TM,

Hmm... that's another good tip. Thanks!

edelweiss said...

Mrs.N,

I mcm VersedAnggerik jugak...heheh but my hubby pulak soft hearted.

She is more composed nowadays. No more crying when i denied her request.

Tapi...siaplah...jelingan tajam dan mogok tak cakap dia... tapi sekejap jer lah.

Gud luck ya.

Anonymous said...

MrsN
I enjoy reading your blog but have been a silent reader until you touch on this subject. Tak boleh tahan nak jampuk coz I have a story to tell.

When my son was your son’s age, it’s the same story. Everytime we go shopping he will ask for some toys. Masa tu popular dengan power rangers, pokemon, digimon, cyberpet (sigh). Then I would normally tell him, “mama takda duit. nanti mama ada duit mama beli ok..?” .

I did not make empty promises though. The only thing was that I would buy the toy after he almost forgot about what he asked. So, this made him ecstatic every time he got the toy. But off course I did not buy every single toy that he wanted. Out of 3 or 4, I might buy 1.

Later when he was in primary school he saved his pocket money when he wanted to buy something (I gave him extra pocket money just for him to save!). I believe he has learnt the value of money by this time. Most of the time I will always top up or buy something extra to go along with what he bought, more so to appreciate what he did.

Alhamdulillah, it works.

P/s Keep on blogging, enjoy reading them.

Kak Teh said...

Mrs N. I ingat masa kecik2 dulu selalu minta beli "apa-apa", and kalau mak kata tak ada duit, kita jawab buku tiga lima ada! Nizzar's demands is the modern version.

Lyana Mauseth said...

MrsN,

My husband ada cara dia sendiri and mmg mujarab...tp kejam skit la and kita kenaaaa sabar tahap langit haha...we start to do this since they were little..means when they started to recognize things...we always surprise them with toys etc and say that we give them reward for being nice and for behaving themselves and they will get more if they continue doing so...memula i kata kat my husband 'budak tu bkn faham kita ckp mcm tu' but surprisingly, ank2 i faham...tp biasalah budak2 kkdg buat perangai jugak...so if they show attitude atau cry for toys, my husband immediately remind them to behave, if not WE GO HOME!!!

After 2 times i masuk shopping mall and ank2 i buat perangai, husband i sepantas kilat, bwk bdk2 tu masuk kereta and balik!!! Again remind them that it will continue be like that if they don't stop merengek for toys...alhamdulilah, lepas 2 kali buat mcm tu ank2 i tak buat dah perangai...bdk2 tu pulak bgtau i 'mama we have so many toys already back home so no need to buy more'

kejam, letih dan penat tp dlm kes i mmg berkesan!!until now, they never ask for toys, walaupun masuk toys r us and tak beli apa2...they are happy for just being there...

MrsNordin said...

Edelweiss,

I think, as they grow older, they will understand better about value of money and would be easier to handle. Thanks.

MrsNordin said...

Anon,

Thanks for leaving your comment.

Si Nizzar ni tak faham lah "Mummy tak ada duit". He thinks every time we go out, he is entitled to get something new. Teruk lah I macam ni!

I've tried to reason with with him, tapi kalau tak berjaya jugak, I'll be dragging a toddler who is crying out loud from the shop to the car! Nasib lah!

MrsNordin said...

Kak Teh,

Pandai juga you kautim with your mum, ya? Buku tiga lima! Ha! Ha!

MrsNordin said...

Lyana,

Oh wow.. I'm amazed your kids boleh masuk Toys R Us and tak minta apa2! I've been avoiding Toys R Us like a plague!

I think I'll do what your husband did. It might just work on my little boy. Kalau buat perangai, back in the car and balik rumah!

Thanks, dear!

nahiella said...

Mrs N, my little ultraman buat tantrum sampai baring atas lantai lagi....but i selalu dpt support from other moms yg witness "drama" anak i. as for the toys, i always say, "One only, after that, we GO HOME". it works jugak cuma boringnya i selalu tak dpt barang i!!!!! Tak aci!