I'm not one who would jump at a sudden outburst of emotion from my loved ones, but last night was a different story.
We were lying in bed, pondering what to have for dinner when my husband received a phone call from his cousin & brother. They wanted to take him out for dinner ~ "a birthday treat", they said. Fine.
But a thought suddenly crossed my mind, "Why is it whenever they asked you out, they never include me? Why do they always ajak you alone?"
He kept quiet. "I don't know lah.. I suppose when they all ajak I, ajak you sekali lah kut. Nak pegi ke? Jom lah!" (macam tak ikhlas je..)
No, thank you.
"I don't really want to go, but wouldn't it be nice if they had asked, "Ajaklah Yati sekali..". Ini tak, it's always you alone. Kalau I yang ajak diaorang, I'd always include their spouses!"
At this point, my husband mula naik hangin.
"I don't know lah, B... I don't know why they don't ajak you sekali! Maybe I'll call them and ask them now!"
I kept quiet.
"No need", I said. "I'm just saying, it would be nice to be asked, not that I want to go anyway. They know I'm at home and it's only proper if they had asked!"
My husband tak puas hati.
"You're asking me an impossible question, something which I don't have an answer to. Why don't they ajak you? I don't know! It's the same thing like why your friends never ajak me when they want to go for coffee with you!"
I interjected, "No, I always include you when I go out with my friends..."
He said, "No, I was only included because you asked me to!" (then he slammed the door to the bathroom)
I didn't understand why he was so mad. I was just asking why they asked him out alone. Yeah, it was a birthday treat, fine. Tapi ajaklah the wife sekali, kan? Just for courtesy sake. Bukannya I nak pegi sangat pun!
The room suddenly felt very hot and I had to get out. So I quickly changed, took my car keys and drove out with Nizzar. Rasa nak nangis... He was still in the bathroom when I left.
When I got home, he has already left. I didn't know what time he got in. Even this morning, we didn't really speak to each other.
Tell me, was I wrong to ask him that question? Should I just shut up, gave him my sweetest smile and said, "Pegilah yang... have a good time...." when deep inside, I wished he would have spent the rest of the evening with me?