Friday, May 29, 2009

Letting Go

A cheerful 5-year old girl with bouncy golden curls was waiting with her mother at the check-out counter when she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please...?"


Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"One rand ninety-five, that's almost R2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get some money from Grandma."

As soon as Aysha got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 cents. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. Kamaa if she could pick Dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another rand and at last, she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Aysha loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them every where - Madrassa, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Aysha had a very loving Daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night, when he finished the story, he asked Aysha,

"Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess - the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favourite!"

"That's okay, honey... Daddy loves you". And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Aysha's Daddy asked her again,

"Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay... sleep well little one. Daddy loves you."


And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her Daddy came in, Aysha was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek,

"What is it, Aysha? What's the matter?"

Aysha didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her Daddy.

When she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said,

"Here, Daddy... it's for you..."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Aysha's kind Daddy reached out with one hand to take the cheap store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Aysha. He had them all the time; he was just waiting for her to give up the cheap store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.

So as it is with Allah. Allah is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that Allah can give us beautiful treasures. Are you holding onto things which Allah wants you to let go of? Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities which you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to let go of?

Sometimes, it is so hard to see what is in the other hand, but do believe this one thing : Allah will never take away something without giving you something better to take its place.

~ The End ~


Nice story, isn't it? I believe, some of you might have read this story before.

It's so true... sometimes it's just so hard to let go of someone or something which have been a part of you for so long eventhough he/she doesn't serve any purpose anymore.

Take relationships, for example. I've been through this many times before but when people asked me, "Why is it so hard for you to let him go"? I just didn't have an answer.

Maybe it was habitual, a hard habit to break. Eventhough all he did was making my life miserable, I stayed on for fear that my life would be even more miserable if I had lost him. I failed to realise that if I had let him go, I'd be a better person. I'd be happier, I'd cry less, I'd have less stress, and perhaps I'd meet someone better.

But the act of letting go is no small task. Not everyone can do it. I, for one, could never muster the strength to let go of my man no matter how bad he'd treated me. I was afraid I could never meet someone new.

The period between separation and meeting someone new can be strenuous. The fear of being alone can force one person to stay on a bad relationship eventhough everybody else says "Go!"

I learnt the art of letting go from my husband, then my boyfriend. He was the one who told me to let go of my past before I can find true happiness.


We were having a quarrel at that time and he wrote me a very long e-mail. He said,

"Yati, you will never find happiness if you keep holding on to your past relationship and maintained a link with it, be it friendship or anything similar. One day you will hurt yourself and saddest of all of all, you will hurt your partner who has no connection with your relationship in the past. This time it was me who are at the receiving end... but it will be the same for the next guy and the next guy if you continue to play around with your past and the present.."

At that time, I never realised that by maintaining close link with my past would spoil my chances with my current partner. I never looked at it that way, anyway. So after that incident, I began to think. Is it true what he said? That I should completely detach myself from my past in order to find true love? That I shouldn't hang on to old boyfriends in my pursuit of happiness?

So I made a decision that night - my past had to go. It was a choice between him and and my ex. I chose him, and so my ex had to go.

Oh man, it was so hard to pick up the phone and tell him that I couldn't see him anymore. I was crying buckets because he had been a part of my life for so long. But I had to do it. I kept on saying, "I'd rather lose you than him."

So I did it. And after that, MrN and I became very good friends, then lovers and now husband and wife.

I'm happy I made that decision because it just lifted a whole burden off my shoulder. Something that has been hanging on to me for a so long and when it's finally gone, it was such a relief.

MrNordin was right when he said, "You can never find happiness if you hold on to your past". Be it old boyfriends, old grievances or old habits, just let them go. You'll be so much happier if you just do that.







24 comments:

syima said...

this entry is beautiful and very true...walaupun pahit, sometimes we do have to let go...

the principal said...

I can relate to your story...

I let go...then pick up the pieces again, try to mend the broken pieces...reading this story made me realise - I can never find true happiness if I still hang on to my past...

bella said...

Hi MrsN, so..Jamal's concert, wanna go???if I'm not mistaken Aug kan..

IBU said...

Totally agree!

I never had difficulty of letting go "old flame" though. Something wrong jer, bubbye romeo. Hahaha... (zalim ker?)

But on another perspective; I remember there were some of my eldest boy's stuff that I was quite fond of last time, which I thot of keeping; konon to be passed on his younger sibling. The younger one(s) never quite made it to this world within that 'holding on period' (if you know what I mean...... one miscarriage after another). Then I thought, ah ... those stuff are not meant to be passed on. Nanti simpan lama jadi rosak. Sayang... And so I nicely fold/pack almost all of them & passed on to others whom I know would appreciate them.

And you can guess what arrived soon after.

God is great!

madam gold said...

How very true Mrs N.It is better to let it go than try to mend the broken pieces.For the broken piece would never be the same again.Pinggan yg dah retak takkan sama dgn pinggan yg baru.
But I guess for some they would rather used that mended pieces just for the sake of little ones..

edelweiss said...

Mrs. N,

I've let go of my past...alhamdulillah...but at times whether i like it or not, the past will come flashing right before my eyes....and it hurts me alot..

Madam Tai Tai said...

MrsN,

I'm glad you let M go. I know it wasn't easy. The memories will always be there, of course, but not his hold of your heart. That now belongs to Nordin. I'm happy for you, dear friend.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

MrsN,

I used to have someone who refused to let us go. The thing is that, there was never US..it was just me not being able to see things through between us and him with his supressed emotions.

Then recently, I had to force him to let go, for how would he find someone true for him if he kept holding on to this illusion. I will never be the same girl he knew more than a decade ago.

It is tough for me too, for I treasure him as a close friend, but I must do justice to him and myself too. I have to let go to help him in letting go of the past that was never there for us.

A good entry, madam..as it opens up my heart to talk about this for I have been keeping it in this little heart of mine.

Enjoy your weekends!

min said...

mrsN
good entry... touching, meaningful... one and each of us been thru it i suppose... be it old flame, BFF, relatives, jobs... and the list is endless... once in a while, we need to be reminded so that we can be stronger in life.. thanks fren... u r great

busymum100 said...

MrsN,

Wah... very touching, and very true..

I think I do not hold on to the past, I've forgiven many parties (and also hope that many have forgiven me too), but the stubborn part of me can never forget. I think it's dangerous to forget - me might make the same mistakes..

BTW, kenapa tetiba teringat nk touch on this? anniversary time ke?

Anonymous said...

hi mrs n,

your entry is touching and i can relate to your story bit by bit.....

tq for the beautiful story

liza

Anonymous said...

BJ
The same principle applies dengan apa yang Allah swt asks us to do, memang susah untuk kita lakukan, tapi ganjaran yang menanti melebihi pengorbanan yang kita lakukan, insyaAllah.

Dada

Desert Rose said...

Very beautiful piece Mrs N, mAY ur marriage with ur beloved is blessed every moment of your life...may it filled with mawaddah wa rahmah.

MrsNordin said...

Hi Syima,

Thanks! Sorry I took so long to reply your comment. Been busy over the weekend.

Cheers!



Principal,

It's hard to let go but I'm sure the moment you let it slip away, you'll feel so much better. Find closure, that's what I'm saying.

MrsNordin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MrsNordin said...

Bella,

Nak!!! Can you find out the details and let me know? You know my number, kan? Thanks!

MrsNordin said...

Ibu,

Yes, God is great. How would you know that by letting go of the old stuff, something more wonderful would come your way...

That's a beautiful reminder for us, Ibu. Thanks!!

MrsNordin said...

Madam Gold,

When it comes to the little ones, I don't know. Perhaps one would still try to hold on to the broken pieces for their sake. But knowing that sooner or later it'll still break, why wait?

MrsNordin said...

Edelweisse,

Even if we've let go, we cannot forget. Memories will still come back like you said, and it's ok.

But just think of the sweet memories. Erase all thoughts on the bad ones. That has always been my motto. Take it easy now, ok?

MrsNordin said...

MTT,

Letting go is not easy but I'm glad I did it. You were there for me too and it sure helped.

Thanks!

MrsNordin said...

Ida,

Sometimes we have to help the other party to let go if he/she is not doing it. What you did was good and I'm sure he'll appreciate it in his own way.

Thanks for sharing.

MrsNordin said...

Hi Min,

Thanks. I'm glad it provoked something in all of us.


Busymum,

No real reason for this posting. I just got the story in my e-mail box that morning which I thought would be nice to share. That's all. Dah recuperate from all your jetlags? :)

MrsNordin said...

Liza,

Thank you. I know many of us can relate to this story... :)


Dada,

You are right. It works both ways.

MrsNordin said...

Desert Rose,

Thank you! The same wishes go to you too!!