Wednesday, November 12, 2008

PS2 Dilemma

It's so hard to write these days. Time flies so fast. Just when I thought I had a good piece to write about, something else came up. And the list goes on.

It's exam time in the home front. Nadira is sitting for her SPM ~ 2nd day today. I picked her up from school after she finished her exam yesterday. She seemed happy. Said the BM and Sejarah papers were alright. Today is English and Sejarah 2.

Nabila is sitting for her final semester exam in college. She'll finish today. I need to pick her up from UiTM later tonight.

MrNordin has left for JB this morning. He is one overworked husband.

Nadim ~ busy playing PS2 at home. Bila dah dekat cuti sekolah ni, I'll surely get stressed out with him. Tak habis2 main PS2. Dari pagi sampai ke petang, asyik dok mengadap benda tu je. Tak boring ke? Tak sakit mata ke? Everytime I come home from work, I surely have to scream at him to stop. Otherwise, he won't stop.

And I hate that. I hate it when I have to yell at some people whenever I reach home from office. It's not a nice feeling and I know they don't like it either. But he never listen. Dah berbuih2 mulut ni cakap, "Time yourself, don't play the whole day, give yourself a break after 2-3 hours, do something else, etc, etc...." Tak jugak berubah.

Selagi I tak jerit kat dia suruh berhenti, he will not stop. Macamana nak buat tu? As if whatever I've told him just fell on deaf ears. Pekak ke apa? I feel like I'm a broken record. I keep on saying the same thing over and over again and yet he never listen. And that frustrates me.

Sometimes I wish the TV monitor would terbakar so he cannot play anymore. Or his PS2 wire kena gigit tikus or something and it's beyond repair. I AM EVIL !

I don't mind if he wants to play his PS2 everyday, but he must know how to set a limit. I just don't understand how someone can sit infront of the TV screen for 10 bloody hours, EVERY DAY, and yet he doesn't get tired. Tapi bila suruh buat kerja sikit, like play with Nizzar, tak sampai 5 minute, “Abang tired..”, he said. Or, bila suruh set the table for meals, siap bergaduh with the sister sebab berkira sangat tak nak buat kerja lebih. Padahal, bukan ada buat apa pun kat rumah. And that riles me up.

How do I deal with this? This is my annual dilemma. It’s called the “School holiday/PS2 Dilemma”. It’s been 4 years and I still can't find an answer to it. I hope to make a difference this year because I don't want that young man to be doing nothing but play PS2 for the whole of the 1.5-month-long school holiday. I will go bonkers, I tell you!


P/s :To parents out there who still haven't got the PS2 for your boys (tho' they've been nagging you to buy it for them), I strongly recommend AVOID buying it at all costs ! (Unless you know how to discipline them and your children jenis yang tahu membahagikan masa.)

41 comments:

Aida said...

BJ,

In my case, I tell Adam, its our TV and we bought the PS2 and we can take it away, so when I and his Baba at home he better listen. Kalau adik-2 nak tengok TV, he'd better give in. (may sound easy but mind u, there are days when I'd have to raise my voice to get through to him).

Yes, I totally agree, do not buy your child a PS2.... can make u go bonkers.

Last weekend, we went to the bookstore to stock up on books for the school holidays to keep the kids occupied.... Adam was like "Adam tak boleh baca buku, nanti mata Adam merah".... dia tak sedar bila tengok too much tv/puter/PS2 pun mata merah (its a affliction he has) geram betul we all. But finally we found a book which he would read. Tapi entah lah habis ker tidak.

My advise is BJ, tell Nadim he can go crazy all he wants when u're not at home, but he better lay off once u balik and behave. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO TAKE IT AWAY.

Good luck dear.

ummi365 said...

* I am putting out my hands* I am one guilty mother too. I got everything from PS1,PS2 and X-box and 4 computers. Now nagging me for PS3 and PSP.

Aduiii.. i wonder when these people want to stop inventing. we are the ones that have to listen to all this nagging and after buying them we scream and shout. betul tak?

tak beli susah, kesian, dah beli lagi susah..

during school holidays all the rules long forgottenlahkan. everything let loose by them without my permission.. dush!!

MrsNordin said...

Aida,

We've taken it away many times, oh yes! Problem in our house, he has his own TV for PS2. Tu yang main non-stop tu!

When I'm not at home tu yang I tak nak dia go crazy. When I'm at home of course lah dia tak akan main sangat (altho' he still continue playing after dinner).

Like last night, we all went out. When we came back about 1am, I could hear the TV room's door being opened and closed, and someone quickly entered and locked his bedroom door. Siapa lagikan? And he thought we didn't hear him..

That means he has been playing while we were out. And right now as I'm writing this, I know he's at home sitting infront of that TV again main game and tak mandi lagi. I can bet you if picked up the phone now and call home, my maid is going to tell me just that. Cuma malas nak investigate sebab I dah letih berleter kat dia!

MrsNordin said...

Ummi,

How do you deal with it? You tak pening ke tengok they all main benda tu sepanjang hari??

Madam Tai Tai said...

BJ,

If you look at this in another perspective, perhaps you could learn to appreciate his 24-7 PS2 obsession.

Would you rather he spend his school holiday lepaking with his friends kat shopping malls (remember the 'Kantoi' posting) and learn to pick up unsavoury habits, eg smoking, drinking, drugs (yikes!), sex OR would you rather he stays home alone with his PS2 as his companion? In this day and age, esp when neither you and Nordin are around at home to supervise him, perhaps the latter option is much better, tak? Believe me 14 is an impressionable age - where it is cool to try out EVERYTHING!!

Royalshoppingarcade said...

my hubby and I dah memang decide we will not buy the PS2.1)because the children will gaduh2...3 boys, sure gaduh and rebut2 2) because,my husband would also be stuck to it!
For now, its no PS2 or anak beranak of those game boys.
tapi i do agree with madam tai tai.Nonetheless, why don't you sign him up for school holidays camp ke..there are a lot of those these days.plan it well and let him join those things.Its sort of like a motivation camp where they make youth appreciate their parents and would become better human beings and muslims.InsyaAllah.I'm sure you can google it.Hope this helps.Senang la I cakap, my children are still children.but just sharing my thoughts.good luck.

Waterlily said...

My case terbalik pulak..its dear hubby yang dok kenen PS3..everyday tanya boleh beli PS3? padahal kat rumah dah ada PSP, X box, PS2 segala...no wonder bebudak naik lemak..part ni yang I tak setuju sangat lah..

Sama lah dengan my son BJ, boleh tahan berjam2 depan tv screen tu!

Ezza Aziz said...

Ni la masaalah nya denagn budak zaman sekarang ni...
sama la dengan daya masa 5-6 tahun lepas..masa 2 oorang anak bujang saja dah macam hantu bilik..siang malam dok main bende ni..saya pulak naik hantu! Suruh buang sampah,nanti jap..suruh tutup pagar,nanti jab..yang saya hilang sabar sekali pesan suruh ambil adik kat sekolah sebab kami keluar..dia boleh terlupa..Nasib baik jiran sebelah nampak adik dia menangis tepi jalan,terus bawa pulang rumah. Bila kami dapat tau,Aziz naik angin ambil game tu diapecah kan depan mata budak budak ni. Puas hati aku kata nya.
Tak cukup lagi..masing2 dapat bahgian mereka malam tu.

Elok hantar budak2 ni pi summer camp ke atau yangsama dengan tu. Lebih elok kalau yang ada sangkut paut dengan agama ni. Biar dia kena brainwash sikit kat sana.

Apa pun you kena hati hati..anak remaja ni lain sikit..memberontak dalam diam. Fikir kan lah bersama suami tercinta .

Anonymous said...

Mrs N,

I have 4 kids so they take turn playing PS2, plus also ada 1'reporter' amongst them. Your son sounds like my son, the malas attitude when it comes to other things. But he's always the first to get up in the morning (sometimes like 5 am) to play PS2 la.. Actually I agree with MTT, better he's at home than outside. But 10 hours straight on PS2 or computer is not healthy either. My friend's friend's son actually passed away after 1 night non stop playing PS, he was only about 10!

When it comes to house rules, my kids don't really listen to me, but they listen to their father.

Busybody

the principal said...

When I was a child growing up in a kpg with 1 bro & 3 sisters, we looked forward to cuti sekolah. That's when boleh gi sawah, main layang2, korek tanah liat utk main pondok2, galah pjg, hopscotch, baling tin...

Sebab takde anak, I'm so clueless about PS2 & the likes...

MA & Brood said...

We used to have a PS1 and itupun I beli sebab before that Abang used to lepak at the neighbor's house and play computer games with their sons. I think he was about 9 or 10 masa tu. Until one day he blurted out saying that one of the sons accidentally put in his father's "CD tak senonoh" in the computer and diorang cepat-cepat keluarkan!


Nasib baik dia cakap dengan I and lepas tu tak ada pasal la I kasi dia ke rumah tu lagi and to keep him in the house I beli lah PS1. And he played sampai la lunyai and I never bought him any games after that. We dont have PS2 or PSP or Xbox or anything of that sorts.



But to kasi dia chan - I bawak dia to a decent cyber cafe which has two portion - one for adults and one of kids (to play games) and while I dok browse, I also bagi dia one hour of playing time.


Then we got our home PC and only when he was in secondary school baru I kasi access to Internet and dia dok main online games. But still, kalau terlebih timing - I will just tell him to go off and he will. (This is because the PC is in my bedroom).


Kids and their electronic toys tak boleh dipisahkan cos this is what is the norm in today's world - cuma apa yang kita nak/patut/harus buat is how to discipline them to manage their time properly kan?


For me, I cuba bawak diorg ni pergi tempat yang tak ada connection (Taman Negara, or some remote pulau) and let them know a different kind of life (and activities) besides those games. Walaupun bila balik - masuk aje rumah akan dok terkam menatang tu.


I told my son Abang - masa sekarang la you kena berkorban masa sikit toksah mengadap games tu semua. Nanti once dah berjaya dalam hidup dan bekerja - gi lah beli segala toknenek game penuh satu bilik and ngadap la siang malam. Mama tak kisah.....(of course I didn't tell him that his wife pulak akan take over potpet! ) Hehehe...


Untuk Nadim, I thik it's best you discuss dengan Mr N on how best to approach this. Cos like others say, teenagers ni kena handle with care sikit.


Good luck.

MrsNordin said...

Madam,

To do that, I need a LOT of patience!

It's true that it's better for him to be at home than outside. But this is not about the activities he indulges in ~ it's about self-discipline. To me, it's doesn't matter if he's at home or outside, but if he knows how to discipline himself, then I will not be so upset.

It is so unhealthy lah to sit infront of the TV all day long and do nothing else. Can't he find something else to do? Peninglah budak2 ni....

Si Nadim tak nak keluar rumah asyik nak main PS2. Tapi si Nabila pulak, asyik nak keluar je kerjanya! That one, she cannot stay home too long. Panjang je akal dia nak cari chance keluar! We'll have trouble stopping her from going out. Macamana tak pening?!

MrsNordin said...

Royal Shopping,

Summer camps are good ideas which I've suggested to MrNordin before. But he is reluctant to let his son go off to some hutan/jungle for self-discovery. He fears for his safety.

But dulu ada lah we all hantar dia pegi robot workshop and what not, but those programs only last for 1 week the most. The rest of the days tu nak buat apa? Susah...

MrsNordin said...

Waterlily,

Nasib baik MrN tak kemaruk PS2. Not that he doesn't like it, but he just doesn't have the time to play. That's why kadang2 he's quite easy on that boy coz he's also into it.

Or is it because I can't stand him being happy while playing his games and got lost in time, when I can't even have a decent 5 minutes to watch my own TV program?

I don't know... :( How to tahan with your kids, I respect lah...

MrsNordin said...

Ezza,

Samalah kita... bila suruh buat benda lain, nanti kejap... nanti kejap. Bila dah kena jerit baru nak bergerak.

I (or my husband) would do the same if he forget to pick up his adik like in your case. Aiyoo... that is unforgivable lah! Bila dah pecah benda tu depan mata, baru they all tahu, kan, senang ke susah hidup lepas tu tanpa PS2.

Sigh... esok bila diaorang dah besar, diaorang akan rasa jugak apa yang kita rasakan ni. Tengoklah nanti...

MrsNordin said...

Busybody,

You're not joking, are you? Serious ada budak mati main PS2 lama sangat? This I must tell Nadim. Hopefully dia akan slow down sikit.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Salam perkenalan. I think PS2 is not that bad because it can teach the kids discipline. For my son, during the holidays I let him play PS2 when all work is finished, dah solat etc. The minute he breaks the law, I give him one warning. Then buat lagi, I pull out the plug. Then I tell him, just because you do not do the 5 minutes of solat or kumon or reading etc, then I have to take away your PS2. Which would you rather have? So called 5 mins of extra of PS2 time or no PS2 for a week? Just because you are unwilling to give up 5 mins you lose a week worth of PS2 time. Sadist, huh? But I only have to do 2 or 3 times, now he's got the message.

MrsNordin said...

Principal,

When we were young, we had a lot of activities during school holidays. Tak pernah boring. Budak2 sekarang, mana ada.... kawan2 pun setakat kat sekolah saja. Mana ada main bola petang2, naik basikal ke... main pondok2 ke... semua activities are house bound. So in a way, I don't blame him for becoming this way. He was brought up that way. That's the price we have to pay for development, I suppose!

MrsNordin said...

Ma,

I've heard that story before, that this kid went to his friend's house and the friend accidentally "terpasang" VCD XXX bapak dia! But I can't recall who I heard it from.

Hish... bapak budak ni pun satu, apasal letak VCD tu merata?? Bahaya lah!

I think, with kids these days, we can't indulge them too much. Kalau benda tu tak ada, tau pulak buat benda lain. Tapi bila ada, they misuse it. And that's not good.

Good that you don't buy those things for your abang/adik. Biar dia beg macamana sekalipun, jangan terpedaya.

Just for your info, me & MrN dah letih dah discuss pasal benda ni. Dia tak berubah2 jugak. Now that MrN is always travelling, lagilah dia lepas tangan. I yang have to deal with it. Pening! Kadang2 rasa malas nak balik rumah. Serious!

MrsNordin said...

Anon,

Hi! That's a good way to discipline a child. But I think it only works when I'm at home. Since I'm at work during the day, susah sikit lah nak monitor. But it's worth trying, though. Will put it to test!

IBU said...

MrsN

I have nothing much to share sbb my sons pun cam tu... HAHAHA... X 3 you!!! Siap gaduh2 abg nak game tu, adik nak game ni, abg asyik nak menang jer, adik lembap sbb tu kalah jer... hehehe... Tengok lah I ni... boleh gelak pulak lagi. Teruk punya Ibu.

Tapi actually my kids only get to play PS2 during school hols or certain designated weekends. SO nak marah lebih-lebih, kesian pulak.

I actually prefer them to stay within house compound than nak keluar gi merayau-rayau ke. So PS2, carrom, darts, mini snooker, mini fuseball, badminton, bola, min gym. And hmppphh.. ajak ler kawan2 dtg rumah, selerak rumah & garden not so bad, better than gi merayau ntah kemana.

School hols looming - nak kena start buat agreement & activity planner you! Carrot & stick consideration included.

tireless mom said...

Dear MrsN,

I am like some of the rest who has commented. Ali hibernates in his room playing PS2. If he gets 5As for UPSR dah minta PS3. I don't mind cos he stays at home. I know where he is. After some time, dia penat he will berhenti. Then after an hour he starts again. Lama lama Nadim boringlah tu. These things tak boleh paksa. The more you nag the more dia buat. Take it ez on him.

busymum100 said...

Mrs Nordin,

I have 6 children - 25G, 22B, 21B, 16B, 15B, 11G but when it comes to computer & games, i think they are 6 boys - sama je perangai. We also have Wii (my 22 yr old boy bought with his scholarship money! then bila habis duit, begging me to help him). Just before raya, the boys managed to talk the dad into buying the PS3 - no hubby doesn't play games, he wanted the PS3 as his "blue-ray" (this format in high-definition, better than DVD) player.

I have given up in trying to get them to do othe things. Betul kata Mada Tai Tai, it's better than having them lepakking kat shopping malls. Cuma, occasionally I make sure they follow us for outing - tk nk terperap je. These 6 kids (yes, my big girl too!) will take turn in playing the Wii and PS3. Whenever mum or dad wants to watch tv, then the PS3 has to stop. Wii is upstairs, with another tv. One thing we make clear, is that all the games are outside (one downstairs in the lounge) and the other upstairs kat family area. None in any room (we have small rooms, anyway).

Hubby is a real sucker. Ptg tadi dia baru siap set up new desk-top PCfor the kids! The old one went kantoi last school holidays. Again, the PC is in the lounge downstairs, in "public", so none can do hanky-panky activity sb adi kberadik lain boleh tengok. I couls see, sometimes my boys baca juga wikipedia - never mind if they are reading about their soccer heroes, or places related to the soccer games, or more about the games that they are playing.
Anak i yg 16yr and 15 yrs old tu (both boys), everytime school holidays, they'll buy new PS3 games, tapi SEMUA nya game BOLA!!! By the way, my boys improve their english from playing the adventuge games on the PS1/PS2 (the old ones, and hopefully same thing with PS3) and on the computer.

Macam The Principal, i pun ingat zaman i kecik2 dulu pun, cuti sekolah kita byk main2 juga, cuma mainan kita byk outdoor, hehe...

Sorry lah, i mmg relax siket bab2 ni... hehehe.... they are kids only ONCE. But i always remind them, their univ/school grades should not deteriorate. My kids will do whatever homework that teachers give them, only the last 2 nights before school reopens.

As for Nadim tu... trylah... korek2 if he might have other interest too.. My hubby plans to take the boys up Gunung Ledang this school holidays, tak tau lah sempat ke tak.. If we plan some outdoor activities, THEY MUST come along, sb kat rumah tu dah terlalu flexible dah... hehe...

Kak Teh said...

apa benda ps2 tu?

MrsNordin said...

Ibu,

We should do like you lah. Get him to play table tennis, fuss ball and all those indoor games. Problem is ~ mana nak taruk benda2 tu semua? At least you ada basement. I wish we have one...

MrsNordin said...

TM,

Ya lah, I don't want to nag him every day either. But yesterday when I got home, he was in the study room, infront of the computer. Not playing PS2 anymore. That's was a good feeling, I tell you!

MrsNordin said...

Busymum,

I was hoping you'd leave your comment coz I know your kids are all into this. Thanks, I shall take note of what you said.

Honestly, I don't know what else interest him. Semua nya buat sekerat jalan. Photography ke, silat ke... semua macam hangat2 tahi ayam saja. Games ~ badminton je kut, itu pun kadang2 je dia main. Entahlah... he used to love Gundam before, but not anymore.

I need to develop other interests for that boy..

MrsNordin said...

Kak Teh,

Hee.. hee... PS2 tu is a video game.

Anonymous said...

BJ
I have the same dilemma, and we talked about this over lunch the other day. I heard of this program called MAP Training (Motivasi Alihan Pelajar) and got a few friends who sent their kids to the 2-day program and the results is quite encouraging. Why don't you try and enrol him to that program? It's RM300 for 2 days at Wisma Belia on 22 and 23 Nov 2008. I have registered Faiz for that. You can register on-line at http://www.laman-map.com/khidmat/map/kursus_map.htm.They don't stay there so we have to send them and pick them up at 5pm. Try and have a look, Nordin may consider sending Nadim there.

wanshana said...

BJ,

But, by hook or by crook, and whether we like it or not, we HAVE to set some rules which they HAVE to follow.

My boy is only allowed to play his PS2, during weekends (Fri night until Sunday afternoon) and not more than 2 hours at a sitting. So far he has been keeping to that because he knows (from experience of punishment meted out when they break any rules) that if he breaks the terms and conditions, chances are ALL privileges will be taken away indefinitely (the longest was about 8 months of no internet, no HP and no outing for my eldest daughter). And if they have been bad, no trip to MPH or Borders for one month! (That's really tough, especially for my second daughter!)

You have to find out what matters most, what is dearest to him, and use that. If he breaks the rule, than you HAVE to be mean and show him that you mean business.

Good luck, dear.

IBU said...

pssstttt MrsN

Table tennis? Meja boleh lipat. Besides, boleh multi task as dining table or dish table for parties/makan2 session.

Fuseball - yang 'mini' udah lerrr... cute indeed. Excitementnya? Fuhhhh... Ibu & Ayah pun boleh jadi addicted! Hahaha

Carrom board? Lepas main, simpan, vertically!

Darts, kites, anime comics, motor trading magazines, 'green' projects, etc, etc.... Nanti kalau I dapat ilham lagi, I'll let u know apa lagi boleh buat aktiviti.

How about guitar?

MrsNordin said...

Hi Dada,

Thanks for the info. I'll talk about it with Nordin later. Btw, Happy Birthday to Taqif!!

MrsNordin said...

Shana,

We've done that. These days pun, memang he only plays on the weekends but cuti sekolah ni, hari2 lah dia akan main benda tu.

The thing about setting rules, there must be follow through. Dah buat dah semua tu... dah pull out dah the PS2, PSP and everything else, but he still doesn't know the meaning of limit setting. Now dah besar sikit, lagi susah nak buat those kind of punishment. Have to be tactful & try something else like SCREAM?!!

But anyway, yesterday & the day before, I tak de pulak nampak dia main PS2 tu when I got home, much to my surprise. Maybe he's read what I wrote?? :) Have a nice weekend.

MrsNordin said...

Ibu,

Anak you semua boys, that's why they can all play together. Si Nadim ni, sorang2 kat rumah... nak main dengan Nizzar, dia malas nak melayan budak kecik tu.

But the table tennis is not a bad idea. Will think about it. Darts - ada, carrom board - ada, kites - ada, board games - melambak! Tapi tak pernah lah I tengok dia main benda2 tu. Perhaps I should force him to play those games once again this school holiday.

Thanks for the tips!

MrsNordin said...

Ibu,

Terlupa pulak. Guitar pun ada ~ mak & bapak dia yang nak main! Tapi sebab tangan semua dah keras, cords pun susah sangat nak practise, last2 simpan and it's now gathering dust in our room. That's another good idea (for me, at least)!

jabishah said...

Mrs. N,
Am not the person to give you advice on this issue but I nak jgk komen...
My girls at one time didn't know what was PS2,PS3 dan seangkatannya. Mak, Bapak diorg tak hantu games. Then they were happy with online games. But now, when they have been exposed by cousins & friends... kesian lah pulak tgk. Thot of buying but their dad is against it.

Dad of 4+1 said...

My sons have been nagging me for one....and we have managed to keep PS2 at bay from our household! Yeah..I've seen a lot of kids sooo obsessed with PS!

MrsNordin said...

Jabishah/Dad of 4+1,

My advise is DON'T! There are other ways to keep them entertained at home.

Anonymous said...

i am addicted to pc game...
sanggup tgh2 mlm bgn main game..
my dad ingat i buat coursework, rupanya main game... sekali kena.. serik ooooo... dh keje ni baru berkecimpung balik dlm main game2 ni... but now with a baby.. hehehehe... nk have a proper sleep pun susah ... :D

ays_as

MrsNordin said...

Anon,

I believe you are a man, and if that's true, your wife must be a very patient woman.

But if you're a woman, then what the h***, you are one crazy person!

Anonymous said...

mrsNordin...
i am the wifey here... my hubby hmmmmm bersabar jelah bila i started to play e pc game... but with baby now... tinggal semua :D

ays_as