Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Does it really matter?

I’ve been slow in updating my blog. A lot of things to write, but no time to do it. The PC at my office is down since Monday ~ virus attack. So, I was bored to death coz I couldn’t do any work. Hopefully, it’ll be up and running again tomorrow.

The little boy has gone to sleep. Surprise! Surprise! He knocked out since 7.30pm just now. So the house is quiet. My maid is cooking dinner. MrNordin will only be back tomorrow. He’s supposed to come back today, but work forced him to stay on another day in JB. Sigh…

Over lunch just now, a girl in my office treated us nasi ayam. She just got her confirmation after 6 months with us. A very sweet girl, and young too. She just got engaged, to be wed in January. And yesterday was her birthday (we didn’t know that). So I asked her, what did your fiancé give you?

With that question, she started to let off steam because he ‘forgot’ her birthday. Ada ke? They’ve been going out for 8 years and engaged for 3 months, and yet he’s already ‘forgotten’ her birthday? Hee.. hee… I just smiled when I heard her going on and on about him. “And that was after giving him ample warning, you know?!” she exclaimed.

Men… some of them are simply hopeless at remembering important dates like that. Well, even Dr Mahathir admitted he doesn’t remember his wife’s birthday, what more can I say about that, right?

I don’t know… is it really a big deal if that someone important in your life forgets your birthday or couldn’t care less about it? Women don't do that. We remember birthdays. Husband, anak2, parents, parents in law, abang, adik, tok, nenek... semua orang punya birthday kita ingat! I'm not saying all, but mostly. Most women remember their husband's birthday, so I guess, we expect the same in return.

In a way, I think I’m quite lucky in a sense the men in my life do make a fuss about my birthday. Even before MrNordin ~ he holds the record, of course ~ they all remembered the date. That was not my criteria when choosing a boyfriend, but they all turned out to be like that, so I’m glad. (Heh.. heh… I mentioned “they all”, so there were a few… )

But I think, among all those birthday dates and gifts which I’ve received throughout these years, the one that takes the cake was my first birthday with MrNordin. This, in terms of the element of surprise that came along with it. My 40th birthday party was another one but that was pre-planned, so that’s a different story.

That first birthday turned up just a few months after we got to know each other. I was 33 (aiyoo... so young!!). The day before, he had told me he was taking me out for dinner on my birthday but he didn't tell me where. So I pun bersiap bagi nak rak lah malam tu! I remember I wore this little lime green dress with a white shawl over my shoulder. Macam real! He picked me up from my place at about 8pm and we headed straight to the restaurant.

If you've read my "asam pedas" story, you'd know where we went that night. Upon reaching that place, we were ushered to our seats by this very nice gentleman who took care of our dining needs that night. The place was not crowded, very quiet. Soft music was playing in the background.

So we ordered our food and talked. There he was sitting right across me, the man whom I've grown to become so fond of lately, and I couldn't help feeling over the moon. The food was great, the wine was divine (used to drink before but have stopped), the company was fantastic. What more could I ask for on my birthday, right?

After dinner, coffee was served. By this time, I saw he was looking a bit restless. The look on his face showed that he was trying to tell me something but I didn't know what it was. Then, I saw him pulling out something from his pocket ~ a little red box. "Just a little something for you on your birthday...", he said.

Oh wow... I couldn't believe my eyes! As I opened the box, suddenly this 3-piece musician came out of nowhere and started serenading that birthday song to me ~ Happy birthday to you.... Happy birthday to you..... It was awesome! They really took me by surprise! One was playing the violin, one a guitar and another one? I can't remember now what instrument he was playing.

And MrNordin was just watching me with a big smile on his face...

Aahh... it was so romantic! One of the most romantic moments I've ever had! There in the box was a pair of earrings, so beautiful I almost shed in tears. I quickly changed the earrings that I was wearing that night to the ones he gave me. I was on cloud nine!

Over the years, there were many more surprises that he cooked up for me on my birthday but that was simply the best. I guess that was the first ~ that’s why it was the best. The same thing with that first kiss, first love, first smile...

I’m sure many of you have had some magic moments on your birthdays. I know someone who booked the whole restaurant at La Fite, Shangri La, to surprise his wife on her birthday with a dinner for two ~ just the two of them. Wow… that must be unforgettable!

I think, each one of us would appreciate being remembered on our birthday. It doesn't have to be lavish, just a simple wish and a card will do. What is so difficult about that? But sometimes men tend to take these things for granted. Just because they are not used to celebrating birthdays or anniversaries, they expect their other half to feel the same way. No! It's not the gifts or celebration that's important, it's the thought that matters.

That's why whenever I hear a man says, "Ahh... I never send flowers to my wife on her birthday.." (ok, flowers is another issue, but let's just assume we're talking about flowers here), I'll cringe with anger. But when I hear a male collegue at work says, "I'm going off early today. It's my wife's birthday", I'll smile coz I know he's a good guy and he sure knows how to please a woman.

Enough said.

15 comments:

Aida said...

Oh BJ,

To me the best birthday present is time. The time you spend with your family and friends. When I was little my parents took time off to spend birthdays together with the birthday child. Kalau fall on a school day, ponteng sehari and that day is for that child hehehe... I practise that too till this day.

So I take time off so any birthday (except this year, I am sad that since joining M@xis, I've not been able to take leave on even my own birthday, its sad for me).

ITs good that your hubby is such a great gift giver. Its nice to feel appreciated and loved kan, even without flowers or expensive gifts.

Glad to see u back online. missed ya.

MrsNordin said...

Aida,

That's very thoughtful of your parents. Taking time off for their children on their birthdays... maybe I should do that too.

I know someone who takes the day off on his birthday EVERY YEAR without fail just to be alone, doing things he likes to do. That would be lovely, isn't it? I never do that, and I don't know why. Perhaps I should, but it'll be much nicer if I have my GFs with me!! Yeay!!

MrsNordin ~ who feels like doing some serious window shopping this lunch time!

AuntieYan @ Makcik Blogger said...

Salam Mrs.N,

My Cik Din, tak termasuk dalam golongan yang lupa b/day wife dia... :-)and he also remember all the sons punya b/day. Unfortunetly, we never celebrate sangat...just say happy b/day...pergi keluar makan...thats all...sekali sekala adalah hadiah. but, I don't mind at all...as he is always nice and gentle to me & anak-anak. :-)

Anonymous said...

Mrs N,

Really enjoyed your story. So far my hubby has never forgotten birthdays, anniversaries and mother's day. This year's mother's day is the best coz he made my kids made me a mother's day card each, with nice words.

I'm quite terrible, on each child's b'days, I tell them that it's me who should be getting presents as I was the one who went through labour..but I still baked them cakes and usually just go out makan2 and small presents.

My hubby gets me presents, but not on all my birtdays and anniversaries..and it's ok as long as he remembers. Once I forgot his birthday, that was during my confinement, u know, how we lose track of days when we don't leave home.


As mothers, we must teach our sons that they must remember the importance of birthdays etc.

Busybody

farizahb said...

MrsN,

MrN is such a romantic!

Aiya, kalau baru bertunang dah lupa birthday, dah kawin nanti lagi lah :-)

We don't really make a big fuss about birthdays. My husband doesn't want me to buy him any gifts, so we would just have dinner out or I would make a special dinner. As for mine, he always gets me a little something, but nothing like having me serenaded :-)

MrsNordin said...

Auntie Yan,

Bagus Cik Din awak tu... beringat jugak dia. Actually, that's just nice: a wish and makan2 with the family. Our needs are simple kan? Jangan tak ingat langsung, sudah!

Take care, Auntie. Sorrylah dah lama tak menjenguk your blog. Not yours alone, yang lain2 pun sama. PC rosak daa...

MrsNordin said...

Hi Busybody,

That's nice of your husband to remind your children to make a mother's day card for you. Actually, that is more special kan?

I agree with you ~ we must teach our sons to remember important days like this and do something about it for their loved ones. Si Nadim dah under pressure, tengok bapak dia selalu bagi bunga kat I. He always say, "Wah... Baba is so romantic!", and I always tell him back, "You must do the same for your future wife, ok?" I hope he follows his father's charm.

MrsNordin said...

Hi Farizah,

Dining out on special occasions like that is perfectly fine with me. Some people just don't like a big fuss on their birthdays, just like your hubby. So that's fine too.

Hey, I got the serenade because he was courting me and he was trying to make a big impression on me! It worked lah to a certain extent...

You have a nice day! Sorry haven't been able to visit your blog, my PC is down.

Ezza Aziz said...

hello MrsN,
lama tak nampak!

bab bab birthday ni,abang I ni bukan dalam golongan yang macam MrN..tapi dalam diari dia dia tulis laa may be dia terlepas pandang kot...macam Kak AN tak da hadiah pun tak pa,asal kan dia baik terhadap saya dan anak anak,itu dh cukup baik. Tapi kekadang hatu berdetik gak,at least call ke kan,,tapi nak camner...

1na said...

MrsN,

Buat macam saya senang kot.

"Abang, belikan ini kat ana. Birthday tahun depan"

After a few months, minta lagi...

boleh?

MrsNordin said...

Ezza,

Hai... hari tu kan cik abang baru bagi lap top? Hadiah lah tu... :)

Memang, actuallynya, what's so difficult about picking up the phone and say, "Happy Birthday, yang...". Orang lelaki ni ego gamaknya... that's why susah no nak buat ucapan macam tu.

I ada cerita best. Ada sorang kawan I ni, husband dia memang kurang bab2 memperingati isteri di harijadi ni. For her birthday last year, I think, he came back with a big recipe book as a birthday gift for his wife. Wah... kawan I pun happy giler! Tak pernah2 husband dia ingat birthday dia.

Sekali, husband dia potong stim, "Buku ni I dapat masa main golf tadi.." Kah! Kah! Kah! My friend punyalah upset! "Buku free dia bagi kat I for my birthday? Baik tak payah cakap tadi!!"

Kesian...

MrsNordin said...

Ina,

Itulah cara yang sebaik2nya. Cakap aje direct, tak payah nak hint2. Kalau macam tu pun dia masih tak ambil tindakan, memang nak kena ketuk kepala tu!

Madam Tai Tai said...

BJ,

Of course it matters if your loved ones (e.g boyfriend/fiance/husband/children) lupa your birthday! It is an unforgivable sin that will result in me merajuk for a long time. It is not everyday that we (wife or mum) ask to be appreciated. Takkan that ONE day pun tak boleh nak ingat..memory bank penuh sangat ke?? A simple wish or card would suffice...asalkan ingat. In my family, I'm the one who buys the cards for everyone. They've only got to write and sign the cards saja to give to the birthday person. I always wonder kalau I tak ada lagi would Chepul continue this act tak?

As you know my hubby, he kinda sucks dlm surprise-surprise ni, and we've known each other for 20 years now. So kalau nak buat surprise pun, I guess idea pun dah kekeringan.

Tapi tang birthday present...ha tu tak pernah kekeringan idea, at least for me lah! I always know what I want him to get for me! Ha..ha..ha..

MrsNordin said...

Madam,

That's the way, ahak.. ahak... I like it... ahak... ahak..! Just tell him what you want, then he'll get it for you. Easier. Dia pun tak pening nak memikirkan apa nak bagi pada kita, kan? And we won't be disappointed when the present he gives us is not to our liking.

Hey, how's Chepul doing lah? Resting, I hope, at home. My regards to him. Cheers!

Superwomanwannabe said...

J- ada men kan yang malu nak tunjuk romantic depan orang. Like Jab for instance, we 're going away for the anniversary right yet the other day he said on the phone" We are going away on anniversary....ya lah, have to remember...otherwise she will give me hell!..."

Macam kena paksa lah agaknye...