Why do marriage break? Why do they call it quits?
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been hearing stories about friends who have gone their separate ways.
“It was my choice..”, said one. “I just don’t love him anymore..”, said another.
On one hand, I was happy upon hearing this when I know the marriage was on the rocks anyway. They were not happy when they were together but happier when they were with other people. But on the other hand, it was sad because I’ve always known them as a couple but now they are not anymore.
Do we really have a choice when it comes to divorce? Do we follow our hearts or our minds?
It’s hard to say unless we have been in similar situations before. Lots of factors have to come into play. Sometimes the heart rules while other times, the mind does. You don’t just pull the plug unless you have weighed the consequences of doing so. It is a big decision and it requires a lot of thinking.
Sometimes when you see couples together, you can tell whether they are in it for a long term or not. If they are living separately but claimed they are happy that way, I guess there must be some problems there.
Or, when one goes away for a 2-month holiday without the spouse, surely one wonders what’s going on too. And what if one always sees this person with another woman but never with the wife – don’t you wonder as well?
These are tell tale signs. So if they say “We are divorced now,”, I won’t be too surprised.
But there are couples who, on the surface, look perfect for each other. Tak ada angin, tiba2, “We are divorced.” Bang! Just like that. That would be a real shocker.
Hearing all these stories made me realize one thing, that we should be grateful for what we have. We complain about our spouses all the time, but hey… he’s the best that we’ve got right now, so live with it!
If you’re looking for a perfect marriage, sorry my friend… go and fly kite. There is no perfect marriage because nobody’s perfect. If only we could achieve 50% of what a perfect marriage is all about, I think that is great already. But how do you define perfect, anyway? It is rather subjective.
I think, we must always appreciate the things we have in life. No matter how annoyed we are with our husband’s snoring or tardiness, try to think of other things that make him special in our eyes. Think of the reasons why we fell in love with him for the first time. Think of why we married him in the first place.
If we can continue to maintain that our partner is still attractive, funny, kind, and ideal for us in just about every way, I think we will remain content with each other for a long, long time. I'm not suggesting you should overlook an abusive husband or put up with a deadbeat bore. But with so many divorces happening right now, I think it's worth revisiting those happy moments again.