tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post5906622320685350299..comments2023-06-27T11:13:01.181+08:00Comments on MrsNordin: Fierce MommyMrsNordinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-82685926957402809692008-09-12T09:05:00.000+08:002008-09-12T09:05:00.000+08:00salam MrsN,My children semua clingy and I used to ...salam MrsN,<BR/><BR/>My children semua clingy and I used to hit them so hard coz I am not patient.Tapi, bila actually if I can control my anger, they will learn to control theirs too.I noticed with my second child yg memang tak makan saman, if dia tantrum tahap gaban, I will now try to distract him and puji2 and usik2 dia so that he is actually getting my attention. I would hug him(its really hard to hug your child when you're SOOOOOOO tired and angry and hungry and melekit2 badan balik from office) but I would really try.So, he would not prolong his tantrum.But really, its sooooo hard but now I put it in my head that its really not their fault.Whatever he turns out to be is because he mimicks us and if we're not patient they are not too.<BR/>My 2 cents worth, not to judge you or anything..coz its really really hard having 3 BOYS!Lots of work.Keep me slim though.hahahahaRoyalshoppingarcadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380298423023454798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-54952929699643886932008-08-27T09:35:00.000+08:002008-08-27T09:35:00.000+08:00SW,It was nice meeting you & Jab too yesterday...SW,<BR/><BR/>It was nice meeting you & Jab too yesterday. Your hair do look nice and you've lost some weight, too. Great!<BR/><BR/>That's a good advice. Call for help, and I don't necessarily mean Nizzar yang akan kena. Otherwise, diaorang semua buat tak tahu saja. Like, sorry.. he doesn't want me... so he's your problem, you handle it. Geram!!MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-89329146315685828492008-08-27T09:32:00.000+08:002008-08-27T09:32:00.000+08:00Yani,And thought you never hit your kids... :) Ya ...Yani,<BR/><BR/>And thought you never hit your kids... :) Ya lah... the first one selalu gitu kut. Kena banyak sabar.MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-63718466235461119342008-08-27T09:31:00.000+08:002008-08-27T09:31:00.000+08:00Hi Kmar,Thanks! Will not try to hit the face anymo...Hi Kmar,<BR/><BR/>Thanks! Will not try to hit the face anymore after this.MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-28194438561784057742008-08-27T09:19:00.000+08:002008-08-27T09:19:00.000+08:00Hi JThanks for coffee last night. It was fun meeti...Hi J<BR/><BR/>Thanks for coffee last night. It was fun meeting up-!<BR/><BR/>Kesian you...the dilemma of a mom. <BR/><BR/>try this simple method- CALL NORDIN/MAID to help..like this:<BR/><BR/>"hellooooo you guys better ambik dia nih NOW or else SOMEONE may get it from me and I don't necessarily mean Nizzar!!"<BR/><BR/>Hows that heehehee.<BR/><BR/>Seriously though. IMMEDIATELY get help from the dad/sister/maid/the cat/anyone standing there. That's what family is supposed to do.Formerly known as Superwomanwannabe!https://www.blogger.com/profile/07618450525323604536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-25433160917783165442008-08-27T09:09:00.000+08:002008-08-27T09:09:00.000+08:00bj,that's how i felt when i first did the same, bu...bj,<BR/><BR/>that's how i felt when i first did the same, but then... sometimes you have to teach them...but after 5 kids i think i hv become more sabar...<BR/><BR/>yaniAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-56135552597241775832008-08-27T06:10:00.000+08:002008-08-27T06:10:00.000+08:00BJ, I pun kekadang pukul juga my kids bila dah hil...BJ, <BR/><BR/>I pun kekadang pukul juga my kids bila dah hilang sabar.<BR/><BR/>I do agree with Shana, kalau boleh elakkan bahagian kepala. So, my tangan selalu ´melayang´ either kat punggung or kat tangan. Apa nak buat, kalau tak dimarah, nanti tak tahu pulak his ´boundries´... betul tak?<BR/><BR/>Kids cepat lupa and I bet your Nizzar will forget about it.Kmarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14856294311635423390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-13620350087537745002008-08-26T14:53:00.000+08:002008-08-26T14:53:00.000+08:00Ma,Well, what you wrote do make sense. Usually, my...Ma,<BR/><BR/>Well, what you wrote do make sense. Usually, my time alone with him is during bath time (but this, kadang2 je. Kalau I balik lambat, dia dah mandi). Or, I'll take him out for a drive or we go to the shop to buy something. <BR/><BR/>Then I'd play with him for a while or read him a book before he goes to sleep. But this is not a daily routine. Tengok mood, kalau I tak penat sangat I'll do it. Otherwise I'll just let him play on his own.<BR/>Perhaps I should make it a point to do this with him everyday.<BR/><BR/>Thanks, ma. I really appreciate your kind advise. Boleh jadi child counsellor lah! :)MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-82676224410049394562008-08-26T14:38:00.000+08:002008-08-26T14:38:00.000+08:00"How to kautim with him, he's so young... Mana dia...<I>"How to kautim with him, he's so young... Mana dia faham compromise?" </I><BR/><BR/><BR/>To get the set of behaviour you want from your kids takes time. So long you maintain the consistency and keep the role playing until he "gets" the message, then you go up one level. All these takes a lot of patience and endurance. You also must like and enjoy these role-playing. Make it fun for him. As you are the closest to him, you boleh tahu what he likes, and incorporate the discplining in that. Lama-lama he will learn the tempo.<BR/><BR/><BR/>You mentioned he is only "misbehaving" when you are around. Bila you tak ada he is okay. So that is a good tip already. He is demanding your attention and wouldnt stop until he gets it. What he did (the elmo-olimpic thingy) was just desperate attempts to elicit a reaction (which translated to him as attention) from you. Unfortunately, that reaction was a pelempang. :P<BR/><BR/><BR/>So maybe you work around the schedule of a mommy-and-nizzar time alone. Once he knows that he doesn't have to "misbehave" to get a reaction from you - he should be fine. <BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>What I did was to make a big fuss and over reacted when my kids did something good and nice (like saying "thank you", or picking up the toys etc) and would puji-puji them and keep on reminding of the good deeds. When they did something bad - I would tell them how disappointed I was. After a while they will learn the good behaviour begets attention/love. Bad behaviours get ignored looks and time-out. Keep on repeating doing this consistenly and insya allah they will learn of the approved set of behaviours.<BR/><BR/><BR/>But boys will be boys and bab lasak-lasak tu biasa lah.MAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09973623821145979625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-4342495847262413022008-08-26T13:15:00.000+08:002008-08-26T13:15:00.000+08:00Kak Teh,Ya lah... I pun takut nanti orang kata I d...Kak Teh,<BR/><BR/>Ya lah... I pun takut nanti orang kata I dera anak. Crazy! I wouldn't do such a thing.MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-49321117094688725842008-08-26T11:47:00.000+08:002008-08-26T11:47:00.000+08:00Mrs N, I am more of a cubit person, dekat peha tu!...Mrs N, I am more of a cubit person, dekat peha tu! They will wait to show the sting to their daddy!<BR/><BR/>Dont be too hard on yourself. If he remembers it at all, he will one day boast about it to all and sundry.<BR/><BR/>Having said that - kalau di sini, takut ada orang report.Kak Tehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856864485917633260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-12444462014321637552008-08-26T10:11:00.000+08:002008-08-26T10:11:00.000+08:00Busybody,Oh my... dia boleh kata "tak sakit" bila ...Busybody,<BR/><BR/>Oh my... dia boleh kata "tak sakit" bila pulas telinga dia? Hee... hee... how did you respond to that??<BR/><BR/>I'll look up for the book. Thanks again and have a nice day!MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-57153184722920717632008-08-26T10:09:00.000+08:002008-08-26T10:09:00.000+08:00And MA,Yes, I think it's the sugar too. I think th...And MA,<BR/><BR/>Yes, I think it's the sugar too. I think that day dia terlebih makan ice cream. Padan lah...MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-85524699952359946562008-08-26T10:06:00.000+08:002008-08-26T10:06:00.000+08:00Mrs N,Rotan lightly actually, usually after 5 year...Mrs N,<BR/><BR/>Rotan lightly actually, usually after 5 years old..before that age, I usually cubit. Last month my 5 yr old talked balk to me so i pulas telinga dia, dia boleh cakap tak sakit..<BR/><BR/>I pun mcm u, I'd rather I hit them than anyone else (even hubby).<BR/><BR/>I recommend you read the book Personality Plus for Children by F (lupa stands for what) Littauer. My eldest is a choleric, punyalah nakal masa kecik..when she was almost 2 I was heavily pregnant with my 2nd one. She was very bossy, I had to dukung her sambil masak..<BR/><BR/>BusybodyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-86569898279668602792008-08-26T10:05:00.000+08:002008-08-26T10:05:00.000+08:00Hi MelayudiLondon,Thanks for dropping by. Hmmm... ...Hi MelayudiLondon,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for dropping by. <BR/><BR/>Hmmm... go down to his eye level and speak to him sternly? I've never tried that. Usually I would just give him an angry stare and point my index finger at him. He'll stop for a while, lepas tu dia sambung balik. Will try your tip after this.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again!MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-60122989077757428442008-08-26T10:00:00.001+08:002008-08-26T10:00:00.001+08:00Hi Ma,Those are great tips! Yes, as I read along, ...Hi Ma,<BR/><BR/>Those are great tips! Yes, as I read along, I kept telling myself, "How to kautim with him, he's so young... Mana dia faham compromise?" But if you said it's workable, I shall try it. <BR/><BR/>Usually we'll distract him when he throws tantrums like that. Tapi sekejap je, lepas tu balik merengek. But when I'm not around, dia ok pulak. Very well behaved, the sisters said.<BR/><BR/>Macam ni, kena cari padang permainan lah kat rumah I tu. Near my house tu, ada club house je. Children's playground tak pernah nampak pulak. Or I'll let him play ball in the garden. Nanti kena gigit nyamuk pulak! Ish... macam2 lah! <BR/><BR/>Thanks anyway!MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-75592532513356684572008-08-26T10:00:00.000+08:002008-08-26T10:00:00.000+08:00Hallo MrsNI lama baca your blog tapi malu nak leta...Hallo MrsN<BR/><BR/>I lama baca your blog tapi malu nak letak komen. Don't feel guilty. Mums are humans too and of course, kekadang memang hilang sabar. Especially when the kids are at their terrible twos! <BR/><BR/>But the wonderful things about young kids is their propensity for love and forgiveness. <BR/><BR/>One thing psl Terrible Twos ni they are always always always testing their boundaries. tu yang kejap nak ni, kejap nak tu.<BR/><BR/>What i find effective if you need to reprimand a terrible two is to come down to his eye level and speak to him calmly but still show you are serious/angry about his behaviour. he knows that is his boundary. <BR/><BR/>memang mencabar tu! we all have been theremelayudilondonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12550601422436407785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-78037865503838509702008-08-26T09:52:00.000+08:002008-08-26T09:52:00.000+08:00Hi Puteri,Thanks for dropping a comment.Like I tol...Hi Puteri,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for dropping a comment.<BR/><BR/>Like I told Shana, sebelum ni memang tak pernah tangan ni naik ke muka dia. Cuma that night, entah apa pasal, penat sangat kut, terus kena pelempang sebijik. I vow not to do that again. Kesian..<BR/><BR/>Kekadang tu, bila tengah marah sangat, memang tak boleh control. That's why I always tell my other family members to take him away when that mood strikes. <BR/><BR/>But I'm quite glad to know that it's ok to pukul to discipline him. But next time, only bottom down. Thanks again!MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-76777301183431351142008-08-26T09:46:00.001+08:002008-08-26T09:46:00.001+08:00Hi Shana,Thanks for your sound advise. That's real...Hi Shana,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your sound advise. That's really useful.<BR/><BR/>Sebelum ni, I tak pernah pun naik tangan sampai ke muka. Paling kuat, cubit kat peha or pukul tangan dia sikit je. I think that night tu, dah penat sangat and dah hilang sabar. That's why... tu yang rasa menyesal sangat tu.<BR/><BR/>I shall heed your advise about jangan pujuk budak2 ni after kena marah. Thanks again!MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-5820750777056844192008-08-26T09:46:00.000+08:002008-08-26T09:46:00.000+08:00I feel you Mrs N. Though I never lay a hand on my ...I feel you Mrs N. Though I never lay a hand on my kids - yes I am one of those who uses the art of kelentong to outsmart my kids to get them to toe the line, but then again when they were younger, so was I. So I am just as strong and energetic to match their energy.<BR/><BR/><BR/>My eldest was a bit hyper compared to the younger ones. What I did was to "lepaskan" dia kat padang permainan every evening when I get back from work - with the maid in attendance jugak to make sure he doesnt run very far. This is to ensure he releases his boundless energy to the right channel. I did that even when he was in his walker - I bawak walker to the taman and him "run" all over the place in his walker.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I played a lot of "games" with him too, so that he will learn that he doesnt have to get his own way all the time. E.g bila berebut TV, I will play o-som with him sometimes and let him "win" a few times and then when masa time I win - he has to let me watch TV. This - you have to do all the time to get the conditioning. Samada you have that patience and endurance, terpaksa lah kan... but it does work, I can tell you that.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I also practice time-out. If he misbehaves and throws tantrum - I will tell him to go to his room to calm down. I will only deal with him when he is calmed down. Of course the first few times, sure berdegang degung dia nak keluar, but if you consistently practice this - he will get the message. Selagi dia masih in his misbehave mood - everyone will ignore him. Lama-lama he will understand, to get any attention, he will be on his best behaviour. My son will sendiri masuk bilik, when I gave him the jelingan maut when he misbehaves. And of course, make sure the room is condusive enough for the time-out, kang ada pulak table lamp yang berderai pecah...he he..<BR/><BR/><BR/>Of course you will say, but Nizzar is so young, boleh ke dia follow all these? Yes he can! Melentur buluh biar dari rebung. The trick to it is consistency. Jangan hari ini buat, besok tukar taktik. Don't ever let the child find that loophole. They are just as crafty so you must always be one step ahead of them.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Good luck! And oh, make sure he is off sugar (dont give him sweets or chocolates petang/malam) - otherwise he will bounce off the wall alll night long.MAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09973623821145979625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-43291879983923191592008-08-26T09:42:00.000+08:002008-08-26T09:42:00.000+08:00Hi Busybody,I pun sama. My free time is only when ...Hi Busybody,<BR/><BR/>I pun sama. My free time is only when he's asleep, but by that time, usually mummy dia pun dah ngantuk...<BR/><BR/>I don't think I'll use the rotan, kut. Dulu masa kecik2 selalu kena rotan dengan mak, tak sampai hati nak buat cam tu kat my own son. Sakit, oi! <BR/><BR/>What does "powerful choleric" means?MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-31506428106363475042008-08-26T09:40:00.000+08:002008-08-26T09:40:00.000+08:00Mrs N, SalaamI have visited your post banyak kali ...Mrs N, Salaam<BR/><BR/>I have visited your post banyak kali dah. Bila baca, teringat zaman I was a young mother macam you sekarang, angin kekadang naik sebab kerenah budak2. They really test our patience, don't they?<BR/><BR/>Tapi, arwah my grandma dulu ada la bagi petua sikit on how to deal with budak2 buat perangai macam ni. She said pukul tu boleh, don't ever spare the rod because it will spoil the child, and I never did.<BR/><BR/>Tapi seboleh-bolehnya la, toksah tampar. Don't touch the head. Bagi kat punggung or rotan kat kaki paha or betis. I pun bagi jugak sebijik dua when the occasion warranted it tapi always dengan rotan. I wallop betul2 pun, sampai bercalar2 kaki.<BR/><BR/>Of course as mothers kita kekadang menyesal la, sedih la, after the whole episode. Tu normal. Mudah-mudahan the child will grow up remembering his punishment and able to see it from his mother's perspective - yang kita sayang sebab tu kita tunjuk ajar any which way we can.<BR/><BR/>Wassalam.Kama At-Tarawishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11203707782759183847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-79288523870837313742008-08-26T09:39:00.000+08:002008-08-26T09:39:00.000+08:00Mdm,I'm ok now. Will try not to let it happen agai...Mdm,<BR/><BR/>I'm ok now. Will try not to let it happen again. Thanks for your concern..MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-47801529096424124772008-08-26T09:14:00.000+08:002008-08-26T09:14:00.000+08:00BJ,What is done, is done. I'm sure Nizzar dah tak ...BJ,<BR/><BR/>What is done, is done. I'm sure Nizzar dah tak ingat that incident, but you have to slow-talk with him and explain why you did that to him when he's calmer.<BR/><BR/>And I agree with Ezza Aziz, DON'T pujuk anak-anak after you've given them the scolding. <BR/><BR/>AND another thing, if your hubby dah marah them, DON'T try to apease or pujuk them. Or even worse - contradict your hubby on the way he disciplines them, in front of them, vise versa.<BR/><BR/>I have been advised that if nak pukul anak-anak, elok di kaki, and not other parts of the body. Wallahua'lam... <BR/><BR/>So far, I've been doing that - pukul di kaki (or, masa tengah menyinga sangat tu, cubit them!) But, now anak-anak I dah besar sket, dah lama dah tak pukul. <BR/><BR/>It's just a phase that they go through - being clingy, naughty and demanding ni.<BR/><BR/>You'll just have to hang in there, dear.wanshanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05580248884594153310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8712335769113145764.post-64368740050450614702008-08-26T09:07:00.000+08:002008-08-26T09:07:00.000+08:00Eta,I share your opinion on mums yang tak pernah t...Eta,<BR/><BR/>I share your opinion on mums yang tak pernah tangankan anak dia. How they do it is beyond me. The books say "talk to them", "use phsychology", entah lah... <BR/><BR/>Sure, sometimes I regret doing what I did. But that night, memang biar dia rasa! (hee.. hee... bad mommy!)MrsNordinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389192701993131122noreply@blogger.com